5 years out - dont think ill ever b outta the woods

Hi Wen,  I can relate to so much you have written above.  For me, my name is Jasmine and I am a compulsive overeater.  So long as I do the footwork of my Overaters Anonymous program, and stick to my food plan, the cravings fade to the background.  If I get lazy, those cravings double-down and I am vulnerable.

When I was fat, I guess there was a thin woman trying to get out.

Now, I am thin and there is a fat woman inside who seeks to remember every day what the insanity was like.

Hugs,
Jasmine130

I'm a totaly fat girl as I just had a pange of jealousy that you had a little ceasers with a drive thru, lol. Oi vey I have a long way to go!

I stuggle with binge eating disorder. Not as badly as presleeve, but it still lurks there in the dark corners.  Pre sleeve I would go to mcds and load up then drive next door to taco bell and load up and then go park in a deserted parking lots and do "my drug of choice"  It's a dire place to be and I completely understand that demon.

I don't know what its like to be a skinny woman as I am still very fat, but thank you so much for being real and not all butterflies and rainbows about the future. I know that I will also be one of those people who has to track everything I intake for the rest of my life.

Good for you to keep your inner fat girl at bay.  I am a lot like you, but when she came out in the past, I didn't recognize her until it was too late.  Then came the guilst and shame and to ward off the guilt and shame, came more eating because I already blew it.  Your get the picture. 

I think once you are compulsive, you can move that compulsion from one habit to another, but maybe never really be "rid" of it.  When I was a kid, I chewed my nails.  Then food.  Then uber-dieting.  Then smoking.  Then drinking.  Then food.  Then compulsive working out.  I was warned that after surgery there would be a time when you "couldn't" eat.  So what then?  At first it was sticking to plan, suppliments, protein, water, etc.  But slowly that has just become everyday, and now it's smoking and somewhat drinking. 

I recognize that in myself and need to work it out.  My life's challenge...

Thank you so much for sharing.  Binge eating has always been a problem for me.  2 weeks out from surgery and I pray that in 5 years I will be successful like you.  I know that will always be an illness for me, but hope that I will come up with other ways to cope with stress.

It's so hard.. I ask God every day for the strength to control my eating and to make good food and activity choices. I struggle and obsess over food to the point that it makes me ashamed of myself sometimes, I wish I did not live with this addction/obsession of food but I do and it sucks.

I think about binging every day and I want to so bad but I resist and with God's help I have maintained my weight 4 years after RNY but the demons are still there, just waiting for enough stress, weakness, depression or whatever situation and I fight them back every day sometimes all day long. My Obesity was a result of an addiction the weight is gone but the addiction is still very present.

 Thank you for posting this.. My fat girl lurks around every corner.. I know she's there .. I really don't like her very much lol. Congratulations on being strong enough to ignore her presence.