Ok, well since we are talking about things we wonder...

I know when we all start this process we're relatively new to healthy living and it's a learning process (and learning curve), but I don't get one thing in particular: post-op laziness.

Now before folks start yelling, I'm not talking about exercise. I'm talking about the fact that many times the very information we need to overcome challenges, beat obstacles and quell fears is right in front of us. And on many occasions (not just on OH) I've pointed this out to people only to get the following response:

"Ugh. That's too much to think about..."

Ok then you WANT to stress over things, gotcha. I'm the type of person if you don't want to find the solution, don't complain to me. So I don't get that. And I'll give an example.

I know an IRL (face to face life) post-op who is a SLAVE to the scale. In general she takes the "either/or" method of eating. She EITHER eats next to nothing OR she eats everything. So she comes to me and says "Nikki, you seem to do moderation well (insert snort from Nik) what do you do?"

I explained to her that I know the calories, carbs, protein in everything I eat. Everything. I did it habitually when I was a newbie and now I am dead accurate with my guesstimates. If I go overboard on something, I try to make it up with activity. So she goes, "Ugh. That's too much to think about..."

Another example. I have another IRL friend who is about 18 months out. She comes to me and says, "Hey I started reading your little blog for recipes (insert supposed uber-grateful moment from Nik). But I swear I hate that you don't post the calories."

So I ask her, "Do you follow the recipe to the letter, because if so you can check out my LiveStrong profile and I keep my recipes there." (True fact, btw) to which she replies, "No I changed it up a bit (insert many changes she made to said recipe." To which I respond, "Well then your calories and my calories are likely different, here's how to figure out the calories in your dish..." To which she cuts me off and says (all together now...) "That is entirely TOO much to think about!"

I don't get that. We have nearly every piece of information we need to be able to be successful at this process. And I'm not just talking about food. Exercise, water consumption. our vitamins. The information is out there for us to use as even more TOOLS to get us where we want to go and yet...we don't use them. I have seen this so much it literally makes me want to scream: be empowered! Giving up our power is PROBABLY what got us here in the first place!

So I just had to vent that out. I'm not mad at anybody. It just frustrates me. And unlike many of you I deal with hundreds upon hundreds of post-ops every day so I allow myself the occasional vent.

As I always say, you are driving the car. You're the captain of the ship. Yes, our bodies fight us and sometimes don't do what we want when we want but honestly...we do have the information and tools we need to find success, wherever that ***** is hiding!

 like*like*like! And I am a newbie!

I did not come blindly to my decision to have WLS. I looked into it for many years, and very seriously for a year prior to having RNY. 

 

I am very independent. I do not wait for others to hold my hand. I get all the resources I feel I will need when making a major decision. I make my choices with solid understanding under my belt. I develop a mental plan of direction and write down my course of action. 

 

I prepare myself for the challenge ahead knowing I may run into some roadblocks along the way. I create a way out to overcome whatever obstacles I may encounter. If I find I need more resources, or I need to gain more knowledge, I actively seek it. 

 

I do not make excuses. I know what I want and where I am going. I do not cry over a mis-step. I do not get others to join me in a pity party.

 

I am accountable to myself and to God in upholding the integrity that I possess to be successful. I am thankful to the Lord for His provision, grace and mercy. I do not apologize to anyone for my beliefs. It is your decision in how you handle your life.

 

I remain positive, purposeful and upbeat. I hold myself to a higher standard. I do not care about what everyone else is doing. I have come to know myself and have addressed those secret places in my life we all tend to avoid. 

I hope and pray for all others to be successful in this journey! Peace to all, Cyndi  

 

What is an "IRL"?

In Real Life

Try to think of it this way Nik.

In school I always excelled at English and Algebra. It didn't take much work to pull good grades in either subject area in college. However, I was also required to take geometry. I have taken the class 4 times and have dropped out every time. "It's too much to think about". My mind doesn't grasp proofs. I've had tutoring, I've had good teachers but my mind just doesn't work the way it needs to in order to pass this class. I can give you the answer every single time but I can't tell you the "rules" or "laws" of how I got there. It's beyond difficult it just doesn't work when you add words to my math.


Everyone I know has strengths and weaknesses in learning things. I have four kids with different disabilities. Three need to hear it to learn it one needs to read it to learn it.

In the beginning I thought I wasn't applying myself and beat myself up over it. I thought my children were being "lazy" and not trying hard enough. The fact of it is the "It's too much to think about" response was a shield to use instead of admitting they or I couldn't grasp it.

For the one who changes up the recipe maybe you could point her to myfitnesspal where she can put in the recipe and it will give her all the info she needs for her foods. So she doesn't have to think about it. Maybe she needs to learn in a different way or have a different tool in order to make it work for her.

I know I need my fitness pal or the like because with all that I have in my life I honestly don't have time to memorize more things like calories etc. I know I need to use a tool. I stopped using it for a couple of weeks and had no idea where I was calorie wise. I was doing what the doctor's plan suggested but that meant I wasn't even getting in 450 calories a day many days. Now that I'm back using the tool and learned that, I was able to get in 676 yesterday.

I guess I'm saying that many things could be at play here. 1. They may not be able to learn it all in the same way you did. 2. They may have too much going on in life to devote the time to it you have. 3. They may be comfortable with giving up the "power" because this is a habit just like everything else.

Feel free to vent anytime! I just wanted to give my perspective to see if it would help you to look at things in a way that you don't feel you need to vent! I always look for reasons and positives in everything these days.

 I get all that but I've had the following conversation many, many, many times in my post-op life:

Post-op (PO): I am STALLED!!!! Help, Nik!

Nik: Well are you exercising?

PO: YES!!!!

Nik: Well how many calories a day are you eating

PO: I don't count calories so I don't track.

Nik: Ok so maybe now is a good time to start?

PO: Yeah but I have to count every little thing??? That's too much to think about.

I'm not talking about hard stuff. I'm talking about easy stuff. I truly don't understand what I can do for you if you can't bother to pay attention to yourself. Laziness. It is. 

I get if you don't know what the caloric make-up of your food MEANS. Or if you don't know the differences between different types of vitamins. That is not laziness. Refusing to write down your calories when you are lamenting a stall or regain is. Not bothering to ever look at your surgeon's resources to see what kind of vitamins they recommend is. I've seen a LOT of both. That's what I am talking about.

Preach it sister.

I know peeps IRL who do not plan whatsoever. WTF? They say it takes too much thinking-- um, it simplifies things beyond my wildest dreams.

I think that different people have different tolerances for formal structure and/or tedious tasks in their lives and for how much emotional and intellectual energy they are willing to put into things (even important things like WLS and post-op life).  Having said that, however, I understand your frustration and experience it myself periodically.  

There is no way that I would be able to track my food every single day for the rest of my life.  The sheer tediousness of it, the time required... Nope... Not gonna happen.  I track my food intake for a couple of days a couple of times a year to be sure I am still in line, but other than that, my response is that "it's too much trouble".  If I start gaining weight, though, you can bet your bippy (if you're old enough to understand the reference, LOL) that the very first thing I would do is START tracking it in order to find out what the hell is going on and what I need to do to fix the problem.  Because I knew that daily food tracking was NOT going to work for me, I invested my intellectual efforts early on as you did: even though I have never formally counted calories, I learned the calorie content of all the things I eat on a regular basis and, if challenged to do so, I could tell you with a fair degree of accuracy how many calories I consumed today.

I know people IRL who have regained some weight (some of whom have started taking appetite suppressants to try to lose some of the regain) and have NO IDEA how many calories they consume.  It is easier to just pop a pill, lament that they should have chosen the DS, etc., than to take control of the situation because it is "too complicated" or "a PITA".  Well, ok.  I hope it isn't too much of a PITA for them to buy larger size clothing again or to keep filling those prescriptions for the rest of their lives.  I just bite my tongue and say nothing.

Lora

I'm like Cyndi.  Plus, I like to research so I read and figure things out on my own as much as possible.  I am also very patient and calm so it takes a lot to rattle me.  I believe God made me this way knowing that small children and senior citizens would always be a part of my life.