The Want

Since I am procrastinating about getting to the gym to do my strength training, I figured I'd be of some good use to somebody.

So...The Want. It is capitalized for a reason.

That is my greatest post-op challenge to this day. I am a food addict, as I've shared before and The Want is a real and constant threat to me. 

You all know what The Want is even if you aren't food addicts. When you want something - a cookie, a few potato chips, a cupcake - and this HUGE tidal wave of desire overtakes you. It is mental and biochemical. You sort of feel weakened for The Want and get the very distinct impression that satisfying The Want can restore you to your former level of mental and physical tenacity.

It's a slippery slope.

Many people say "well if you just have a little of what you crave, that's enough to satisfy a craving." That is not so with me and I theorize with most food addicts. If you give in to The Want, you usually "go big or go home." I either eat it all or I eat none of it.

So does this mean I usually abstain when being overtaken by The Want? Not at ALL. But I have committed to making informed choices. Because, in reality there are some days when I just don't have the energy to fight The Want. So there have been times when I gave into it but not unknowingly. I know EXACTLY what I'm doing. I'm conscious of it. I don't lie to myself or anybody else about it.

I have learned in the past few years a few tools for NOT giving into The Want, namely:

1. Three deep breaths. If you can take three deep breaths that gives your brain a small amount of time to plan an escape route.

2. Getting the hell out of dodge. At the end of the day sometimes it's a matter of the food goes or I go. Sometimes I go. Sometimes the food does.

3. And this is the hardest...analyzing The Want. Trying to coach yourself through it almost like a labor pain. And that is so hard. I've done it. But there was no joy in it. There wasn't even joy in not caving to my desire. Usually I was left feeling like someone cheated me out of something.

So those are just random thoughts. But that's one big challenge I face. That feeling, that INTENSE desire. For me, as an addict, it isn't specific to food. It can happen in many realms: shopping, sex, drinking, etc. Some I've practiced, some I've not. 

But something to be aware of.

Thank you for sharing.  I'm RNY pre-op and so many of the fears I have are NEVER eating what I want most and HAVING what I want most. I'm afraid that if I give into temptation, as you said one bite will not be enough. When I was banded, that is exactly what happened.  It became easier and easier to give in and now...well, I'm starting again and wll hopefully make better decisions.  I know that everyone has to find their own way and make the best decision they can, but it's nice to read what you had to say and to remember that we are not alone.

I pretty muich have to practice #2.  get the hell out of dodge. 

Keeping busy does help but it isn't always possible.  Keeping trigger food out of the house helps but isn't alway possible when you live with someone else.  Substitution works sometimes.  Protein shakes or cakes when I want something sweet.  chocolate chew calcuim instead of chocolate candy.  But it has to be a reasonable substitution. Celery instead of chocolate doesn't get it.

this is part of the "they do surgery on our stomachs not our heads" that some folks never come to grips with.

 I agree 100%. I have been on too many slippery slopes in my life and they all start with just one bite, just one mind you...Oh what the hell I'll eat the bag and make up for it tomorrow...tomorrow never comes. 

My husband & I argue over this every now & then. Since surgery we have cut our eating out to almost non-existent. However when my family orders pizza or we go out & there are french fries sitting there, I have to say no I can't have that because if I start just to get the want out of my system it doesn't work. One fry turns into 10 & then I'm feeling miserable & hating the bad choice that I had made. My husband is always saying "You can have whatever you want, its all about portion control" Yes I know I can have whatever I want, but at the same time I know I cannot because I know myself. Its better for me to not be around it at all. I've made some changes for my family too, such as my kids the only sweets I would allow them to have before my surgery was after dinner & if they ate their whole dinner. Now I don't buy junk food anymore or sweets. I told them if they want something sweet they would have to get it in the form of fruit or on a special occasion when I buy them a treat or some holiday or birthday. My kids have lost weight this summer & eat about what I eat now 1/2-3/4 cup of food. My husband has also started changing his eating habits as well. Not sure how I got off the subject, but anyways I know for myself that I cannot trust myself to eat just one of something that I know I love so I have to say NO & its not always easy. I want a better healthier me & fighting my wants is what I have to do to succeed.

I think pre-op and post-op food addicts probably face the same challenge.  I'm still pre-op but I'll tell you this....I can NOT control myself on certain foods.  It's an all or nothing situation with me.  That's why even before I started all this, I could NOT buy oreo's.  I couldn't just have a couple a day.  I had to eat the whole bag!!!  With milk!!!  So, I don't buy them...I try to not even LOOK at them at the grocery store.  I don't like to throw food away, but I have...to save myself.  Say if there is cake left over from a birthday, I'll graze on it all day until I get sick of myself then I throw it away.  It's kind of selfish I guess, because it's my problem not everyone elses, but it's just something I have to do. 

Shannon

Oh yes, I know the Want really well......