Random Poll o' the Week: What are you afraid of?
I'm afraid that I'll tease my good fortune.
I have been so, so fortunate on this journey. No complications. No unexpected roadblocks or side effects. No trouble with food, nothing.
So when I reach goal, I'm really afraid that I'm going to want plastics or something, and that I will have tapped out my good luck to its max and I'll end up with horrible disfiguring scars or infections or whatnot. I'm afraid of wanting too much.
I really want to reach goal and just be satisfied. I'm really afraid if I try to keep perfecting my flaws and messing with nature, I'm going to toe the line too closely and my little house of cards will come tumbling down.
I have been so, so fortunate on this journey. No complications. No unexpected roadblocks or side effects. No trouble with food, nothing.
So when I reach goal, I'm really afraid that I'm going to want plastics or something, and that I will have tapped out my good luck to its max and I'll end up with horrible disfiguring scars or infections or whatnot. I'm afraid of wanting too much.
I really want to reach goal and just be satisfied. I'm really afraid if I try to keep perfecting my flaws and messing with nature, I'm going to toe the line too closely and my little house of cards will come tumbling down.
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Check out my video blog! www.youtube.com/user/HappilyShrinking/videos
Highest weight: 269. Surgery weight: 233. Goal weight: 144, and then we'll see..
Check out my video blog! www.youtube.com/user/HappilyShrinking/videos
Highest weight: 269. Surgery weight: 233. Goal weight: 144, and then we'll see..
FWIW, when I had surgery 5 years ago, my greatest fear was that I would be compliant with the post-op diet for a while (like being on any one of the dozens of diets I had been on in the past) but then, despite my work in therapy to address my use of food as a way to deal with the aftermath of trauma, I wouldn't be able to control myself and NOT eat for comfort, etc. (and that I woldnt lose the weight or would just regain it eight away). I knew going into surgery that there would be a lot of psychological work, but my fear was that I just wouldn't be able to exert enough control and that the physical changes from surgery wouldn't be enough to overcome the psychological issues.
There have been times since surgery when I have really struggled with being depressed or having my PTSD meter in the red zone and wanting to eat to deal with it. For the most part, however, by being aware of the connection between the trauma and the overeating, being on the lookout for psychological urges to eat, and being armed with a list of things I can do to deal with the PTSD without food, I have been able to control things. Yes, occasionally I have eaten some kind of "comfort food" to make myself feel better, but at least I recognize what is happening and I make a conscious decision to eat that item rather than just mindlessly reaching for ice cream or pizza or macaroni and cheese as an anesthetic. I am less than half a dozen pounds above my goal weight at 5 years out, so that fear has not come to pass. It was, however, a motivational force and I don't think we should discount that aspect of our fears.
Trust me, if I can do it, anyone can... if they are willing to do the necessary psychological work.
Lora
There have been times since surgery when I have really struggled with being depressed or having my PTSD meter in the red zone and wanting to eat to deal with it. For the most part, however, by being aware of the connection between the trauma and the overeating, being on the lookout for psychological urges to eat, and being armed with a list of things I can do to deal with the PTSD without food, I have been able to control things. Yes, occasionally I have eaten some kind of "comfort food" to make myself feel better, but at least I recognize what is happening and I make a conscious decision to eat that item rather than just mindlessly reaching for ice cream or pizza or macaroni and cheese as an anesthetic. I am less than half a dozen pounds above my goal weight at 5 years out, so that fear has not come to pass. It was, however, a motivational force and I don't think we should discount that aspect of our fears.
Trust me, if I can do it, anyone can... if they are willing to do the necessary psychological work.
Lora
14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
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