Sudden increase in depression NOT related to surgery

Half those issues would be more than enough to send my depression skyrocketing.   Good grief, last week my ex made a stupid comment that I interpretted as meaning he thinks I'm ugly and I spend three days mostly lying in bed crying.  Now, that really wasn't the only issue, I've had plenty of stressors lately, but that was like the last straw.  Fortunately, after three days I was back to normal, but it was back enough I was starting to think about making a trip to the psych ward.

Yes, it sucks.  Big time.  Hopefully it does pass quickly, or at least gets a little better soon.  If it doesn't you might want to talk to your doc about meds.  Or you might want to talk about something PRN now, like ativan or visteril, for anxiety.  The visteril usually helps when I can't stop crying hysterically.

And feel free to call me if you want to talk.  Or cry on the phone.  Or whatever.

Thanks, Kelly. I did take some leftover Ativan (from after my ER adventure in February) last night.

Ironically, it was -- of all things -- the stupid argument with the breeder's husband that really sent me "over the edge".  Somehow, he interpreted something I wrote in an email (seeking to understand why I was told the next red male puppy would be mine and now there are a "couple" of people ahead of me because hey ah e been waiting so long) as me accusing them of lying to me about the fact that they have not had any red males born since the end of April.  Yes, she lied to me about me being next, but I never said anything about questioning that there simply had not been any red male puppies.  I have no idea how the hell he misinterpreted so badly, but I called them in order to TRY to straighten out the misunderstanding and he jumped all over me with both feet and did not want to listen to anything i had to say.  He got pissy and said that the health guarantee doesn't even guarantee me a replacement of the same sex and color but that they were trying to honor my PREFERENCE... and then he tried to insist that my original puppy was cream, not red!  He finally dropped it when I suggested that he consult the pictures they published of Khan in their own newsletter and asked him if he needed me to send him back a copy of my receipt and the AKC registration form, both of which show that he was red! It was ludicrous.

I just feel overwhelmed by various "losses"... No children (let alone grandchildren), no husband, all the kinds of "losses" associated with the assault, no Khan and no puppy, the "almost" loss of the ex-client, no sense of being valuable at work, etc.

Sigh.  Wish I had a cookie.

Lora

Ah............the change of life, Menopause + a bunch of crap = you have the right to feel depress.  I would worry if you didn't.  And I would worry if you didn't cry, crying is good it cleanses your soul.  You might want to try get mad .........hitting a pillow, screaming etc.  You know the techniques..........

Be kind ot yourself.

Yeah, there's a lot of anger right now... I seem to be cycling between deep sadness and flashes of intense anger.  I called my therapist and she is going to stay an extra hour tomorrow evening to see me again.

I didn't even think of the hormonal role in all of this.  I'm sure it isn't helping.

Lora

Praying for you

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. Sometimes, it's that one tiny straw that really does bust the camel's back.

Someone mentioned hormones and I really encourage you to get those checked. I've been on hrt for 2 years but I suddenly felt like crying (and did often) and felt really negative. My sleep hit the skids and I just felt like I was really tightly wound. Sure enough, my hormone level had made a huge dip. We changed the dosage of estradiol and I started to feel so much better. It's worth having done.

I hope things get better for you. (((Hugs)))

Unfortunately, I have a significant history of multiple DVTs (blood clots in the deep veins, for those not familiar) so any kind of estrogen therapy is out of the question.  

Lora

This happens to me even without excessive stress. I had to get my meds upped (Zoloft). Its been about two months now, and sometimes I wonder if I need it upped again, then it eases...then comes back. Like you, Im currently having some extreme stress happening right now and I just want to lock myself away. I had to come to work though. I guess its better, cause I would just lay on the couch and veg and want to eat. I just want to catch a break at some time!

I wish we lived closer. I have a brand new 7 week old puppy and I could really use some help with her!! 

Hope you find some relief soon

Wow... you are really going through A LOT! I can feel the stress and anxiety in your post. It is no wonder that you are experiencing symptoms. It sounds like you are taking care of you, which is so important. The massage will be great, let it all go when you're on the table... feel all of the tension just melting away with each rub.

I understand the pain of being childless as well. We tried but couldn't conceive. My sister has 5 kids that I get to watch grow up... and it makes me melancholy. My solution was to become the Crazy Cat Lady (I don't recommend it... but I love my fur children...LOL)

I deal with anxiety and severe depression. Both are well controlled, but I find that when the straw that "broke the camel's back" happens (like the puppy situation for you) it seems like my house of cards comes tumbling down. And all of the things that I could handle individually seem to become a giant ball of poop hanging over my head about to consume me.

Sending love and hugs. I wish I could do more... just keep on taking care of yourself and you will be fine

Thanks to everyone for the encouragement.  Today is only a little bit better (not quite as teary), but my therapist had a cancellation and was able to see me again today at lunch, so I went to see her (not especially helpful, unfortunately) and now I am at home -- trying to work a little bit -- this afternoon.

I'm not sure what bothers me more... the depression/sadness, the "dark" thoughts (no need to worry... I have no plan to act on them), or the sudden anger/jealousy (/bitterness??) that I seem to be feeling about the husband and kids issue. Unfortunately, being single also affects my stress level about finances and losing my job (whereas if he were still alive, we would (presumably) still have another income if my project gets cut). My options in terms of job possibilities and in terms of what I really WANT to do are significantly limited by the fact that I am the only one here to pay the mortgage and the student loan bills.

Lora