I don't think WLS works the same way for everybody

This is one of the reasons that I loved my surgeon.  She refused to give ANY patient a goal weight because she said that only God knows what size an individual's body is "supposed" to be (and also because she has no way of knowing how much muscle or bone is underneath all that fat).  She was the first one who suggested that body fat % was a better measure.  She also routinely warns people who have been SMO for many years that they are extremely UNlikely to lose ALL of their excess fat.  I know that some people here don't want to hear that... they think it is "negativity"... I say it is truth and people need to be aware of it. (One person even blocked me... might still have me blocked if she is still around... because she thought it was so annoying to have me pointing out to people that not everyone gets to goal, especially if they just select an arbitrary goal.)

I somemtimes wonder if I would ahve lost that extra 10 pounds that I am probably carrying in my thighs if I were able to exercise more or if I were stricter about what I eat. The fact is, though, that I was pretty damn conscientious about my eating while I was still trying to lose... and when my weigh creeps up 5 pounds and I cut the carbs to get the 5 pounds back off, even if I keep eating that way for several more weeks, my body does NOT go any lower.  I am pretty sure that's where my body WANTS to be.  I have 24-25% body fat, which is considered "optimal" for a woman about to turn 50.

Yes, I still struggle with wanting to be a size 8 instead of a 10/12... but I know that I am at a healthy weight for me, and I can maintain this weight while still eating like a pretty normal person... and I dare ANYONE to say I am anything but a complete success just because I am not a single-digit size and have a little bit of fat still on my thighs!!

Lora

I agree with you. Not everyone's frame, build, and metabolism is the same. A great example of this is the Olympics, conveniently on right now. All those athletes, all in peak condition, and several different body types represented. When someone gets into amazing shape they don't fit into one set of measurements. If you look at the marathoners, sprinters, swimmers, gymnasts, weight lifters, judokas, and high jumpers you'll see different shapes. Hell, just within the track and field umbrella you'll see a slew of different body types from the slenderest lady distance runner to the burliest dude shot putter or hammer thrower and everything in between.

Also, aside from being incredibly inspiring and full of feel-good stories, the Olympics is a fantastic smorgasbord of eye-candy 

I agree with you about the eye candy! And I have to say I laugh out loud every time i see your avatar with Mommie Dearest. I can just picture her screaming "No wire hangers EVER!". LOL

 my roommate saw an article online talking about how fat a lot of the gymnasts are. can you believe some people's views are the skewed on body image? and don't know the difference between fat and muscle? if they are fat i don't know what chance the rest of the normal population has....

I think every post on this thread is wonderful. Nik for self-acceptance, Hillary for just great wording, Kim for mentioning the age factor, and Laura for emphasizing the unimportance of scale numbers. Weight and weight loss are topics that can be so devisive and so unifying, all at the same time, aren't they?

I'm so proud to be in this wonderful environment and have the company of women (and a few men) that appreciate everyone's journey is just so different and each journey is so unique. A group of folk who know that each of us is separated by our struggles with goals, and outcomes, and living well into post-op-dom, but who acknowledge that it's those exact struggles that also serve to unify us.

That's all...just wanted to say I'm honored to share this journey with all of you: every prolific poster, occasional poster, and the quiet lurker.

the human body is so much more complex then 'calories in vs calories out'! My surgeon never gave me a goal weight either, and i have to say that's been nice and annoying at the same time.

i'm hoping to not become obsessive over a number on the scale.

If I'm following your post correctly, it sounds like the issue might be more that our BODIES don't work the same way as everyone else's, and it's not so much about the way the surgery works. Although I do also believe the surgery works differently for each of us, as well, but in a different respect.

Even non-ops tend to have really varying degrees of bottom line. As an adult, I never managed to get below 167. I'm three pounds away from that now, so if (when) I cross that line, it will be all new territory. A big part of me believes it won't happen, honestly, but that's my self-defeatist talking.

I just think everyone's bodies carry a natural set point, where our systems are comfortable, we're healthy, and we can function comfortably without peril of either starvation or weight gain. And that set point may be different across various ethnicities, genders, structures, and lifestyles.

I cannot imagine myself skinny. I just can't. I really don't believe I'm built that way. I have already been told by my surgeon that the idea of getting to my BMI-recommended 110 (which is the high end for my height) is dangerous and unrealistic. But 5' tall Asian women probably don't have those same struggles, because their bodies are built smaller and lighter than mine.

So is it the surgery that works differently when it comes to maintenace weight,or is it just the way our bodies are all individually built?


[Edit to add:] Your post reminded me of a funny conversation I overheard in the Y locker room this morning. Two ladies were talking around the corner, and one of them said, "I don't know where she got off calling me a 'woman of color'. I've seen that woman turn red, blue, green, and yellow. She'll turn more colors on a damn roller coaster than I'll ever be in my whole life."

Made me giggle. :D

 Well no. I think that WLS affects different people in different ways. Which could be the same thing.

Like me. I still malabsorb damn near all the fat I eat at 4.5 years out. From what I've learned from folks that far out at support group, that is not the case for everyone. Yet they are all smaller than me. 

But then again my body reacts differently too. I don't know too many 200 lb. women who can fit in size mediums and 10's but I can.

So it's a bit of both. I don't think the surgery works the same on everybody's body and I don't think people's bodies work the same in reaction to the surgery.

 Yeah, that's what I meant in my 2nd or 3rd line, when I agreed that surgery DOES work differently for each of us -- I was referring to the way we digest, absorb, distribute, and burn.

In my dissent, I just meant that I think all of us will have a different bottom line and different bodily reaction to weight loss, and that I wasn't sure if the surgery is responsible for that, since I've frequently seen the same thing happen in non-ops.

I think we're saying the same thing. :)

 110 is more like the mid-range for us lol. doesn't it just sound unhealthy to be an adult woman and weight that little? then again my sister is 5'3" or so (i don't even know anymore, it's rare to see her without heels on) and hasn't broke 100 yet, and all she does is eat crap, lucky ***** lol. 

i totally agree on the set point, i think i may be at mine, i can workout and diligently track my food and maintain, or not worry too much about what i eat and cut back on the workouts and maintain. it's frustrating but i may just need to learn to accept it.

oh and my number was 174, and i passed it. i'm sure you'll pass 167 too :-)