I don't think WLS works the same way for everybody

Nik we're had this conversation and my surgeon told me the same exact thing.  He actually told me he tells most of of "ethnic" women patients this same thing.  I've read plenty of studies that say that AA women have higher bone densities than their white counter parts.  High bone density = protection from osteoporosis = higher weight.  I've also read studies that indicate that AA women carry more muscle mass than our white counterparts.  Higher muscle mass = higher weight. 

I remember when my grandmother was sick with stomach cancer...the woman was basically living off of ensure shakes and IV nutrition and her lowest weight a few days before she past was175 pounds and she was literally skin and bones.     

I think for me, it has always been important to acknowledge a few things about myself so that I don't set unrealistic expectations for my body.  I don't want to be 5 years down the road locked into a never ending cycle of fighting my body because I never got to be a 6 or 8 or hell even a 10.

I know I carry a lot of muscle.  I know I have very large and dense bones.  So I know that getting to 140 or even 160 pound is not healthy for my body or my mental sanity.  I would look sick at that weight.  So I'm OK with my higher "goal" of 200 pounds..i mean I weighted about 200 pounds in the 7th grade and through out much of high school and college.  And I was active...I played 2 sports in high school and Division I softball in college.  At that weight I completed 2 a day workouts and played in marathon games in the blazing hot Florida sun.  I would have to just about KILL myself and cut off a few limbs to get to 150 pounds.  I'm just not willing to do that...so I'm left with either getting to acceptance or living in eternal anguish.  I've chosen acceptance.  It's a nice little ole place to live if I do say so myself.

 Yeah. I like where I am.

I am 200 lbs. but you can't tell me I'm not dead sexy!

I have always thought this!

 I've wondered about this too. I also bottomed out at 195, bounced up to 207 last summer and have lost it again. I'm Hispanic, so maybe that has something to do with it. Maybe it's due to the fact that I dieted from the age of 9, and often times not in a healthy way, so I destroyed my metabolism, and never realized what I was doing to myself. 
Im trying to see myself as a sexy amazing person now. I really struggle with that. How do you do it?

 Um...it's hard to deny reality...

(SIKE!)

Honestly in black culture we're not told we're ugly for being thick or big. Black men tend to like the booties, the hips. I never had a problem with the way I looked to a POINT before sugery. I'd say up until abut 260 I thought I was the cutest thing walking. Once I had my kids and crossed into the 300's it was a different story. I'd never dieted until then. I didn't feel the need to.

Culturally I feel blessed that way. I have lots of role models of BBW who taught me how to dress, how to carry myself and I had some fine azz boyfriends through the years!

So I guess long story short: I can think I'm beautiful and sexy because no matter what, big or small, that's how I was presented to myself in my formative years. My family, community and my little microcosm of a world presented me to me as something wonderful and I believed it :)

Okay, I'm with you on it not working the same way for everyone, probably for many complicated reasons rooted in physiology.

I like to think of our end weight as just part of the diversity of humanity. There are so many shapes and sizes that occur naturally among women; we tend to only see a few repeated over and over in popular culture, even though we have gained a smidge more diversity over the years.
We are all individuals, although we share commonalities as women and men, as post ops, as protein forward eaters, and as humans. This vast array of difference is the beauty of the human kaleidescope.

So, you raise an important point. Let's not cause ourselves Sturm und Drang over a number that we may not be able to control.  If we are doing the head work, eating protein forward, moving our bodies, and taking care of ourselves, let's call it sufficient unto the day.

 Yeppers. I think that's my post-op mission. To get people to see the bigger picture!

and teaching us to eat better! otherwise there'd be a whole bunch of post ops eating the same five things, not out of necessity, but because we couldn't think of anything else.

 LOL yes that too. Oh some of the things I have tried in the name of protein!

 i'm with you. in a perfect world i'd hit my goal, hell i'd surpass it since i chose one that was high-mid-range of my bmi. i kept getting told that since i was so young when i had surgery (24) that i would hit it no problem. not so true. i haven't been perfect, i've eaten more carbs than i should, skipped some time at the gym. but i bottomed out at 148 (at least as of 22 months post-op) and bounced back up to around 153. i think i only really got that low because finals really stressed me out last semester and i was hardly eating and working out a lot to try and get rid of the stress. really i'm okay with the number on the scale, it's lower than i was when i started seeing my pcp around 15 or 16. i'm still not okay with my body, but there's nothing i can do for that short of getting the skin removed and a tummy tuck (among others but that's what bothers me the most). 

sometimes it bothers me when i see people who have had surgery after me hitting goal, but i know i just need to remember where i came from and where i am. maybe i'll get there one day, but i'm okay with not getting there too.