"They" said I'd gain it all back.... are "they" right?

Thanks, I appreciate your support.

I know I'll be okay Today was just my woe-is-me bit, I'll come out of it, and be a workaholic again, no doubt about that.

The people with the lousy messages will continue with their "messsage' and I dicounted and laughed aat them then, and it was cut and dried at the time. Calories in = calories out = maintenance = no regain. Life just ain't that simple. And their message is no more true today than it was then.... but it is a little evil voice on my shoulder prodding me into dark destructive thoughts.

The good news is that I have this appointment. We'll get some answers and we'll move on.

I've just figured out some good emotional blackmail.... I'll work it on my honey-bunny..... maybe I can get some exercise out of the swimming pool before it gets too cold out... guilt hubby into doing it with me.

 I don't have any advice as I'm not even going to pretend I know what you're going through since I haven't had surgery yet, but I do want to send hugs. 

I think it's disgusting that even after everything I have read that you have went through to achieve health and happiness that ignorant hurtful words are still fired your way. I had to reread your post!

The life of an overweight person almost feels like you're under a microscope because you [feel like you] stand out everywhere you are as 'the fat one'. So we grow up giving way too much credit to what other people say. We give them so much power instead of just bidding them to kindly F OFF SIR like most of them deserve.

Try to forget those stupid people and take care of your heart. I hope you find the diet support and advice you're looking for. 

Thank you. It's not all fuzzy kittens and blissful non-scale victories. It's a tough row to hoe as my dad used to put it.

it's still worth it.

I hope I think the same still come March.

(I'm sure I will)

Thank you. It's not all fuzzy kittens and blissful non-scale victories. It's a tough row to hoe as my dad used to put it.

it's still worth it.


Once again you are right on the money. Great thread - I was hoping Lora, Nik, et al would chime in.=)

I commend you on your recognition of what you don't want to happen.  That's the first big step!

You see it.....you have a game plan.........said you were working on increasing your activitiy level....I know....motivation is a *****!  But you will do it when you are ready.

Also with your meal planning.......do you have a NUT that can help  you pre-plan your meals and snacks?  Or you can even do that yourself......maybe go back to an earlier phase of the RNY diet.....

I try to cook and do meal/snack prep work for 2-3 days at a time and stock the fridge with high protein and low sugar snacks.

Other thing I TRY to do is only shop the perimeter of the grocery store!  Most of the "bad" foods are in the middle isles on the shelves.  I find I am more successful if I still to fresh produce/dairy/meats...

I still LOVE food and spend alot of time in the kitchen.  If you ever want ideas or someone to help you with the meal planning, just pm me!  I would be happy to help.

Stay focused and positive!  You can do this :)

Leslie


 

Thanks for your comments. I'm not a foodie though. I only go to the store when I have to. And when I do I hit up the "healthy food" corner to get my almond milk and FAGE, get some fresh fruit, and some cheese, and then hit up the powdered drinks. I eat Quiche. Salad. Fage Yoghurt. I drink protein shakes and almond milk. That's pretty much it. I'm not plagued with hunger. i eat on a schedule. My "nut" was worse than useless. wouldn't even READ the email I sent her before responding with a bunch of cut-paste garbage with zero relationship to the question I'd asked. I mostly buy pre-made quiches, and break them into 6 to 8 portions, though they're designed for 5 servings. Cheese with artichoke hearts and snap peas, or avocado or olives is another meal I consume. more higher fat because of the cheese. Then there's the full-fat fage with some fruit. Day after day after day that is what I eat.

I don't really "plan" My food, I simply schedule myself to eat (in the summer approximately 4 times, sometimes 5 times)... an when it's time to eat I say "what do I feel like?"

The only change I made was cutting a lot of carb calories, adding fat calories, and my net daily calories is DOWN, but I gain more with more faqt in teh diet....and the RH is only partially under control with the higher carbs higher calorie diet.

My frustration is that I started to gain weight when my RH was NOT under control, I altered my diet to bring the RH under control, and adjusted the calories DOWN, and I'm gaining MORE weight ....

The math says that I shouldn't go up if the calories go down.

My body, it seems, fails math

And realistically also, I don't think this is ANYTHING about your "motivation". 

I know it's hard for some to understand.  Motivation does not solve a damn thing.  It's the DOING that counts.  And what you are doing is exactly what you would have expected would be the right things to do. 

Sometimes it's really, REALLY hard for people to hear that our bodies will gain weight in spite of, not just because of, our eating plans.

Glad you are doing a little better Lithia. I so know those bad days.  The first time I had to buy a 12/14 post-op I thought I was gonna cry.  But as I've said, I'm learning to be a little more accepting.  4 years ago I would have given a limb to be in a size L instead of a 5XL.

I think that the people who believe situations like this are primarily a motivational issue are the same people who also believe that enough motivation and determination will get anyone to ANY weight regardless of their body type.... that you can set any goal you want (no matter how low) and achieve it if you are just willing to do "the work".  Bodies just don't work that way (and, almost invariably, the people who say that are the people who ARE at very low weights and have no understanding of what it is like to NOT have a size 2 body).

Lora

I agree.

The hardest part for me isn't taht my surgery is broke, or I'm grazing all day long, or that I'm an utter couch potato (not long term anyone, but yeah, the last two weeks I have been - but if all it takes to regain is 2 weeks of complete slothfulness and then your WLS stops functioning...we'd all be in trouble). I follow the rules. I eat what is healthy for my particular needs. I don't graze, I don't snack, I don't choose foods that are very bad choices, I may not exercise vigorously, but I I follow the rules. Could I have a more toned body and less flab if I worked out? Absolutely. But it's the doing what I'm doing ....and doing it right, that's blowing me away.

My body is size 10 or if I had the extra skin gone, I might be a natural 8.... but I'll never be less. Last night I was watching synchronized diving, and I saw this one girl in a pair (don't forget the country) and she had very very muscular thighs, VERY broad shoulders and hips. I doubt she's anything smaller than a size 8 or ten too. It is what it is.

My aunt was a professional dancer. I was one day hanging out at her dance studio in San Francisco (It was the night Sky Lab was supposed to be visible to the naked eye before it broke up and came down to earth, I remember it vividly).... and one of my aunt's friends made an observation that as a 10 year old, my shoulder breadth was broader than any one of the entire dance troup (and I was about 4 1/2 feet tall a that point in time). And these dancers werent' ballerinas, they did flamenco and other ethnic dances and toured throughout North and South America.

I think that this -- too -- is part of my "issue" when it comes to exercise comments. I know that I'll never get a smaller bone structure. Exercise won't change the configuration of my legs (they are supposed to be straight, but I have an 11% outward curvature at the knee on one side, and a 7% outward curvature on the other side. I saw video of me running once. I was in high school, and I cringed at how ludicrous I looked. I'd long since hated being made to run (I had exercise-induced adolescent asthma)... it gave me severe asthma and it hurt. The orthopedic doctor who told me about the deformity in my legs wondered out loud, "it must hurt to run, possibly even to walk" (he also wondered why I hadn't been to a doctor as a child and gotten leg braces while growing, as it could have helped my legs to grow straight. I was watching Gymnastics last night and I remembered being forced to do that as a child, in high school, told if I wouldn't do things that HURT (and scared me, I have an issue about heights)... I would fail. So I failed. Exercise brings to mind a boatload of emotional and physical memories of pain and embarrassment. No I'm not going to suddenly get over this fear or have legs properly constructed for doing some things. And the insistence that if I would only just try harder I would get rid of the flab, and the extra skin, and suddenly be this awesome looking human worthy of note and being called a success.... well jeepers.... (As I type I see some of my long-standing angst coming to teh surface) ... anyway, YOU get it

Yeah, I definitely get it.  I never liked to run as a young child, but would do it in gym class without hating it... Then when I was 9 my chest started to grow.  By the time I was in sixth grade, I was a C-cup and I was very self-conscious about the bouncing I did when I ran (even when none of the boys were around).  By the time I was in High School, I was a D-cup and it hurt to run (I don't know if they made sports bras back then... if they did, I did not know about them) in addition to the considerable embarrassment (gym classes were mixed gender, although if you chose gymnastics it was almost always all girls and there were enough people who chose soccer in warm weather and basketball in the winter to have two classes, one for each gender).  

I turn 50 next month and even if my knees would permit me to run, and even if I could get a sports bra that would keep my now DDD-cup breasts from hurting and bouncing (not a chance I would actually restore to wearing TWO sports bras just to be able to run!), that dislike of running because of those early experiences is pretty ingrained.  I would just use the elliptical machine instead.  I actually didn't mind that before I further damaged that left knee.

Lora