Honesty at Eight Years

Neen L.
on 7/30/12 2:23 am - Arlington, VA
Everyone's experience with WLS is a little bit different. I realize that sometimes I post things in my daily diet that might seem really off-kilter to others and I think it's important to explain where this journey has taken me...

When I went through WLS, a lot of things were different. I didn't have any kind of pre-op diet or weight loss requirement. Once my insurance approved me it was a simple psychological evaluation, physical, pre-op health test and then I was on the operating table. The recommendations for protein were similar to the current guidelines, but I was encouraged to get it through food rather than protein powders. There weren't many "never again" foods. While I had (and still have) to stick to protein first, veggies second, and starches last, long-term success was about portion control and making good choices as often as possible. And taking those vitamins of course! I was made well aware of what dumping was and told to reintroduce foods into my diet very, very slowly. By four months out, I was cleared for just about everything.

Nothing really fazed me. The only things that ever made me sick were sugar alcohols from artificial sweeteners and ice cream. Woe to me if I ate ice cream; guaranteed dumping sugar-free or not. It was never one of my vices to begin with, so nixing it wasn't really an issue. Soft-serve frozen yogurt was just as good in my book. Every once in awhile overcooked meat would be a problem.

There were things that changed naturally as I gradually understood what made my body feel healthiest. My boyfriend (now husband) isn't a huge carbo-holic, so bunless burgers, hot dogs, and tortilla-thin crust pizzas were the norm. We'd split meals at restaurants, or if we went somewhere special like Mortons, we'd bring home the extra meat and eat amazingly good steak wraps the next day. With baking, I dialed back sugar where it worked, and ate very little when it didn't. It became a rarer indulgence to have them, and like most post-ops, I paid in intestinal agony if I went overboard. When Joe would eat fast food, I'd make a frittata and wheat toast. I've had a few "little hamburgers" from Five Guys, but that kind of thing makes me feel pretty queasy so it's a rare, rare thing.

Eight years later, you'd never know I had surgery. I eat a mostly normal diet, just on dessert-sized plates. I indulge my little cravings for goldfish crackers and shortbread cookies, but everything is weighed, portioned, and then put away. And those are certainly not every day foods. If I find that there is something I have a problem portion controlling, I usually stop keeping it in the house. There are things that I don't even bother with because I know the sugar or fat is just too high to tolerate (i.e. regular soda, fast food meat, and most candy). My caloric intake is between 1200-1400 calories a day. Protein still always comes first and I make healthy choices a good 80% of the time. I love sandwiches and don't compromise on the quality of bread, I just slice it super-thin (each slice is about ¾ of an oz). If I want fried chicken, I make it at home, use skinless chicken breasts, and fry at the ideal temperature to avoid excess oil absorption. If I'm craving apple pie, I add very little sugar to the apples, and make one serving in a ramekin so I don't binge on leftovers.

There have been a lot of little changes in my life, but nothing drastic (aside from the rerouting of my insides). Here I am eight years later, 130 lbs down and maintaining. I run or get on the elliptical every day, my physical exams are spot on, and I'm stronger and healthier than I've ever been in my life. The person who hated walking the ½ mile to a friend's dorm in college now hauls bags of flour home from the grocery store up a steep grade...for fun.

I am not a perfect post-op. I am not a model of how to eat. What I am is healthy, what I have done works for me, and what I want to tell you is that the ultimate secret to success is compassion. Compassion for yourself and compassion for others. It is so easy to stand in judgment, to scold other post-ops for wasting the opportunity to have WLS with self-destructive behaviors, and to think that there is only one plan for success. But to instead realize that your decisions and your path are your own, and to have compassion for the way others deal with post-op life unburdens you.

It is certainly important to reevaluate from time to time; whether that means stepping on the scale or noticing how your clothes fit. No one wants to head down the path of regain and it's crucial to take an honest inventory of your actions. If something's not working, then you might say "Well, carbs make me gain weight regardless of caloric intake" and know that you have to cut back. Will you feel a little jealous that other people can eat things you can't even look at without dumping? Probably, but I bet they're feeling the same way about something else.

We should want to give one another good advice here. We should encourage healthy habits and lifestyle changes, but the fact is that long-term the things that work within your life are yours alone. How you feel about your WLS now is not how you will feel five years down the road. That first year, you'll probably panic at the stalls and get sick from something you never expected. But trust me, eventually you'll learn a lot about both your body and mind. Love and accept that person as you grow to understand him or her. When you care for yourself, you automatically do what's best for you--and deep down you'll know what that is.

Find your success and encourage others to find theirs. Your world with or without WLS will never be perfect, but just remember that the sun is always there even if it's hidden behind a cloud.

Rest assured that it will certainly come out again.

All the very best to everyone,
Neen

Long-term post-ops with regain struggles, click here to see some steps for getting back on track (without the 5-day pouch fad or liquid diet): http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/bananafish711/blog/2013/04/05/don-t-panic--believe-and-you-will-succeed-/

Always cooking at www.neensnotes.com!

Need a pick-me-up? Read this: http://www.lettersofnote.com/2009/10/it-will-be-sunny-one-day.html

Cicerogirl, The PhD
Version

on 7/30/12 2:37 am, edited 7/30/12 2:52 am - OH
Good post.  I will be 5 years out next month, am maintaining a 185 pound weight loss (5-7 pounds over my lowest weight), and my approach has been -- after the first year, anyway -- very much like yours.  Nothing off limits (only three foods make me sick and they are easily avoided), but diligence regarding overall food choices.  I have a bad knee so my exercise is very limited, so I have had to find ways to be even smarter about food choices in order to be able to have occasional "splurges" and the daily small (

OK, what IS the deal with OH chopping off my posts the last couple of days?!?

(less than 100 calorie) teats almost every day that keep me from feeling like I am on a diet or deprived.  I would never encourage someone to have a spoonful of Haagen Dazs ice cream or a small amount of chocolate as I do most days, but I think it is important to let people know what works for me so that they know they have options.  Everyone needs to have (or develop through trial and error) the self-awareness to understand how they can make it work for them.

Congratulations on 8 years of success!

Lora

14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

OH2012
on 7/30/12 2:38 am - OH
That was awesome.  Thanks for sharing and inspiring.

Congratulations and best wishes for continued success.
Ready2ChangeMe
on 7/30/12 2:46 am - Canada
Thanks for your post it is nice to here that imperfection doesn't mean failure! thanks for your honesty! I look forward to being 8yrs out and maintaining the 120+ that I have lost thus far!
            
Brittany M.
on 7/30/12 2:50 am

Thank you so much for the thoughtful post!  My approach is also very much like yours.  I find that if something is totally off limits, I obsess over it until I eventually overeat it.  All things in moderation works best for me.

BTW, I made your braised cabbage the other night along with some turkey kielbasa and HOLY YUM.   Thank you so much for posting that too!

    
Neen L.
on 7/30/12 3:49 am - Arlington, VA
I am so glad you liked it! It's becoming a favorite dinner around here.

Long-term post-ops with regain struggles, click here to see some steps for getting back on track (without the 5-day pouch fad or liquid diet): http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/bananafish711/blog/2013/04/05/don-t-panic--believe-and-you-will-succeed-/

Always cooking at www.neensnotes.com!

Need a pick-me-up? Read this: http://www.lettersofnote.com/2009/10/it-will-be-sunny-one-day.html

LJ1972
on 7/30/12 2:50 am - FL
**Like** 
 Thanks
flyingwoman
on 7/30/12 2:54 am
"I am not a perfect post-op. I am not a model of how to eat. What I am is healthy, what I have done works for me, and what I want to tell you is that the ultimate secret to success is compassion. Compassion for yourself and compassion for others. It is so easy to stand in judgment, to scold other post-ops for wasting the opportunity to have WLS with self-destructive behaviors, and to think that there is only one plan for success. But to instead realize that your decisions and your path are your own, and to have compassion for the way others deal with post-op life unburdens you. "

Yes! And beautifully said. :)
  
    
Starting BMI 69 w comorbidities | 55 of the weight lost above was pre-op.    
Cicerogirl, The PhD
Version

on 7/30/12 3:03 am - OH
I would say, though, that I think that part of supporting people means confronting them about self-destructive or sabotaging behaviors that they may not even be aware of.  I don't see anyone here "standing in judgment", though.

Lora

14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

Neen L.
on 7/30/12 3:50 am - Arlington, VA
Yes, I think "standing in judgment" may have been a heavy choice of words on my part. I do think it's really helpful (particularly for those who are very recent post-ops) to get constructive advice in a kind, supportive way. And that's generally what's done around here.

Long-term post-ops with regain struggles, click here to see some steps for getting back on track (without the 5-day pouch fad or liquid diet): http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/bananafish711/blog/2013/04/05/don-t-panic--believe-and-you-will-succeed-/

Always cooking at www.neensnotes.com!

Need a pick-me-up? Read this: http://www.lettersofnote.com/2009/10/it-will-be-sunny-one-day.html

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