STARTLED AWAKE!!!

I fell asleep last night after talking to my relatives in Panamá ... I forgot to put the phone on the charger and it slept somewhere on my bed with me .... I was in deep slumber and a much needed rest too ...

It was then that the goofy T-Mobile ringtone of the cellphone rang directly in my ear from under the covers and startled me awake ... I sat right up startled with my heart beating so darn fast in my chest and cold fingers of fear gripped my heart ... for a moment I could not breathe... all I could say in my head was 'dear Lord ... not my sister... not my sister ... not my sister... please please PLEAASSEEEEEE NOT MY SISTER' ...  the cellphone kept ringing LOUD in the stillness of the house.... fearfully I reached for it ... my hands are wet with cold sweat and I am shaking... totally afraid of the phone ... totally afraid of the voice and the news on the other side of the line ... 

These fleeting thoughts in my head sent me into frank palpitations and the verge of a nervous breakdown ... I tell myself PEACE! BE STILL! I recall getting off the phone earlier and all was okay with the cir****tances ... I slide my  finger upwards on the touchscreen and accept the call .... a foreign voice with an accent that sounded nothing like mine or my people's came across the line ... telemarketing me what? CARAJO! you have got to be kidding me!!!
  I flung the phone and took deep breaths .... panaManiac inner biatch in full control my heart returned to normal ... I went to my personal bathroom and ran cold water on my face and sat on the john and voided ... totally exhausted .... from being startled awake and totally freaked thinking the unthinkable ...how am I going to handle this if things do not progress as expected? shhhh don't think that ... don't think that... think positive I tell myself...

I came back to my room ..... sleep totally gone .... I decided to go ahead and take my morning shower this early ... I was not running this morning .... I washed my hair and put on my makeup ... I went into the kitchen and turned on Cuisinart and got one of my DK K-cups in Vanilla flavor ... I sprinkled cinnamon and nutmeg into my cup and added skim milk and a couple packets of Splenda ... stuck my cup under the nozzle and pressed brew and had an awesome cup of coffee ... 

Wider awake than ever ... I go downstairs and I folded the clothes that my dearest son always seems to forget in the dryer.... I went across the room and checked on my guys ... my eight ferrets all asleep in a heap on one hammock ..gotta love 'em ... they each have their own hammock but they rather cuddle.... I was then that my eyes caught the wall ... and my gesso and my brushes .... and I could not resist ... 

Sitting on the floor I added another bird to my now blue wall... totally grateful ... that all is well back home and my dearest sister is fine ... fighting the battle and responding well to treatment ... she is the better one of all four us siblings and the oldest... and she is strong and she is beautiful .... 

My heart restored, I painted another hummingbird ... fun ... peace... happiness and calm ... painting is therapeutic ... and I am grateful for my once busted wall of pain .. that is no longer ... how soothing ... I am back to being me ... after been startled awake by a stranger on a 'do not disturb' line ... go friggin' figure...

I found peace painting a little bird on my wall ... and calm.... I heard footsteps ... and it was my other half, my DH who heard me moving around downstairs ... and he snapped my picture ..



And because I take a picture a day for my digital empowerment journal titled A Picture A Day Keeps the Pounds and Inches Away on my walk away from morbid obesity for life ... and because I am a picture AW ... this is my journal entry today ... Came in to work and doned a sweater in the freezing AC workplace and enjoyed a Gala apple ..... one of my faves....



Thank you for allowing me to share my goofy thread ... I swear I was almost scared to death in the wee hours of the morning ... for a split minute I had to force myself to breathe ... I am trying so hard not to give in to fear and superstition .... my sister is stronger than the C word dreadful illness... we got this!

                   HUGS! 
   Dear Lord please continue to strengthen and bless her sister and family. Lay your healing hands on your beautiful child and bring a blessing of healing and speedy recovery. Above all Please give PEACE and Tranquility to there hearts. Amen
       
       OK now go to your DH, and ask him if he would please put his arms around you. Look into your eyes. And give you a hug for me.
     Because whether I knew you or no, Knowing what you are going threw (an havin been there my self), that hug and telling you that YOUR strength gives her strength. Is what I would do.
        I love your little humming bird, so full of strength and beauty. Your wall of healing is inspiring me to look for a way I can celebrate and explore my own journey. 
        I hope the rest of your day is uneventful. 
                                 
                                            Sincerly Marty in Missouri  

 Thank you Marty ... I am cool ... I got my hug ... all is well back home considering ... we are a family of fighters, survivors and overcomers .... thank you so much for your encouragement and support and especially for the prayer ...