Concern about "when can I eat..." posts

First of all, my personal approach to post-op eating is one of "all things in moderation".  The only foods that I never eat are the 4 foods that lmake me physically ill.  There are foods that I choose not to eat, but if an occasion arises where I want to eat something that is a less-than-healthy choice, I eat it... I just eat a small amount of it.  (Note, however, that I will be 5 years out next month.  This approach is NOT appropriate for those of you less than a year out.)  So this post is NOT about people choosing to eat "forbiddden" foods.

I am concerned (again) by a recent  increase in the number of posts here asking "how soon can I eat ______ again?".  (Yes, some of the posts here are simply asking when others were able to eat something that is a healthy food choice, and I am not talking about those posts.  I am talking about the bulk of the posts that are not about healthy foods.) The actual answer is that every surgeon's plan is different so only YOUR surgeon can tell you when (s)he "permits" you to eat something particular... and when you choose to eat something, of course, is completely up to you no matter what your surgeon's plan says. Eating something solid when you are supposed to still be on purees will not "break" your pouch.  It might be uncomfortable or it might make you sick (or it might be just fine), but you will not "ruin" your surgery.  Having a couple of bites of pasta or some pizza toppings will not adversely your weight loss.  Neither of these things, however, is in your best interests.  My concern here is not about the answer to the question of when you can eat something, but about the mindset that accompanies the question.

With RNY, the weight will come off for close a year no matter WHAT you choose to eat.  Your choices may influence how quickly it comes off and how much comes off, but with the intestinal bypass, you WILL lose weight during that first year. The problem is that once you lose most of that malabsorption of calories and fat and your pouch is bigger, the only things you will have available to use to maintain your weight loss is whatever restriction you have with your pouch (as opposed to your old stomach) and your new, healthy eating habits. 

One of the keys to developing the eating habits you will need down the road is -- IMO, of course -- to embrace the limitations on your diet early out and embrace temporarily giving up the old foods and limiting yourself to healthy foods.  Yes, you will be able to eat pizza or pasta or ice cream (or whatever) again... eventually... if you choose to and it does not make you sick... but doing it at 2 weeks or 6 weeks or 3 months out does not help you embrace a new food lifestyle.  When someone asks "how long before I can have ____?", it shows the same diet mentality that we all failed at and that kept us all obese for years.  That is not meant as a slam against anyone... we all came from the same place.. but in order to be successful with this surgery you WILL have to change the way you think about food. If you do not, I can all but guarantee that you will struggle with regain. 

I know that everyone out there probably would have said that they would do almost anything to get approved to have this surgery and have a chance at being a normal size.  Now that you have had the surgery, though, you need to continue that mentality and embrace all aspects of the tool and the opportunity that you have been given.  Think about the bigger picture, because thinking only about immediate or short term food (or emotional) gratification is what got most of us to the point that we needed this surgery in the first place.  No matter how difficult it is to give up eating all of the things that made you obese, it is much easier to do it while you are still very early out than it will be down the road.

Yes, it's a drag to give up eating foods you love for a year... or two... but isn't it worth it in order to get a healthy, non-obese body?  What happened to that "I would do anything to have this surgery and lose this weight" attitude?  I am not the food police, and I am not trying to put anyone down  (we ALL have our food related issues and we all have our individual struggles with this journey), but I want everyone to be as successful as they can be long-term with their RNY, and I do find it worrisome to see people so anxious to go back to eating the old unhealthy foods. 

Lora

Lora-
You nailed it.  I too have been concerned about the number of these types of posts.  I'm with you-we all came from the same place!  But I did work very hard to do a complete 180 in those first 18 months, and only in maintenance do I live by the 80/20 rule. 

I'm a bit over 3 years out now, and the work I did in those first 18 months is really paying off.  I do eat very healthy 80% of the time, and I don't stress about the 20% of bad choices I make because I burn it off in exercise.  I learned recently though that I cannot slack up on exercise....I missed several runs because of the heat for a few weeks....and the scale went up 3 lbs.  (Of course, eating dessert EVERY NIGHT when I was in Michigan a few weeks ago didn't help!!). 

Now I'm having to log food again and up the cardio to get myself back in check.  I still believe in life in moderation..........there are no "BAD" foods, and I will never diet again.

Yes, one of the surprises for me has been how quickly the weight can start to creep back up when we stop being diligent about our food and/or physical activity.  I guess I expected that the surgery would be more help as far as maintenance than it is, so I am very glad that I worked so hard to change my eating that first year (and am grateful for the posts that I read here when i was early out that questioned the wisdom of various food choices that people were making).

Lora

I think that my postop recovery period was much easier than the average person, because I made a lot of changes in the six months pre-op, so I didn't have to do much adjusting.

Really good post Lora. Not too long ago I commented on a "When can I have ______" post cautioning the early post-op and feel I may have been ignored as a vet. There were numerous post ops with very little time "under the belt" saying, oh yeah, I eat that already and have had not problems at all! And laughing (LOL) all over the place. It wasn't a matter of it being bad for the pouch. Yeah, you haven't had any problems (yet). The problems will come later in the form of carb cravings, empty calories, and weight gain. Ugh.

A to the Men!

There is an air of ****yness in some of the newbies.....I just hope they don't learn the hard way and will accept the wisdom of those that have gone before them and have proven the recipe for success.

Mmmm-hmmmm.

The LOL makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes. 

Any problems YET......that's the key to long term success IMO; test the limits too often, too early and be prepared to deal with issues later.  This again isn't everyone but many.

Sometime I just want to say wipe that silly LOL off your face and pay attention. HAHA (notice I didn't say LOL).

Yes, people expressing happiness/pride/whatever that a certain food did not make them sick... as if being able to "get away with" eating something unhealthy without a problem is a good thing... Was part of the reason I decided to post this.  Yes, I enjoy food treats... but enjoying them at several years out is different than at several months (or even weeks!) out.

Lora