Ignoring people and relying on them not recognizing you

Cicerogirl, The PhD
Version
on 7/22/12 2:26 am - OH

I cannot imagine how surreal it must be to have a former lover not recognize you, LOL!

Lora

14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

RonSudol
on 7/21/12 8:43 pm - NJ

i have had dozens of people not recocize me.. its surprising.. not people what ive seen from 20 years ago either; more like people from 1 year ago.. its crazy, but funny

but alas, since im a social butterfly, if i see somebody i know, i will go say hi.. Life is too short.

   ---------------(Starting Weight - 365) ------------ (Current Weight - 165) ------------

Cicerogirl, The PhD
Version
on 7/21/12 10:33 pm - OH

RNY on 08/27/07

I generally do, too... and it has often been fun to have to "re-introduce" myself to people that I had not seen in just 18 months or so (and amusing to watch their expression change from neutral to confused to shocked!)... but in this case it would have been a bit awkward for me to go up to her with other people there and re-introduce myself and would have been very tense because of the way the relationship ended.

Ironically, people I had not seen for 20 years would probably recognize me far more readily than someone I had not seen in the 5 years since surgery.

Lora

14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

Laura in Texas
on 7/21/12 10:28 pm

RNY on 09/17/08

I would not have talked to her, either. And I also have a distinctive voice. I transferred to a high school that is fed into by the middle school I used to work at. Kids I taught before my RNY stop in the hallways and stare at me after hearing me talk and laugh (they are shocked when they figure out it's me). It's funny.

OK, I'm nosey and have to ask if the woman has kept off her weight....

Laura in Texas

53 years old; 5'7" tall; HW: 339 (BMI=53); GW: 140 CW: 170 (BMI=27)

RNY: 09-17-08 Dr. Garth Davis

brachioplasty: 12-18-09 Dr. Wainwright; lbl/bl: 06-28-11 Dr. LoMonaco

"May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears."

Cicerogirl, The PhD
Version
on 7/21/12 10:48 pm - OH

RNY on 08/27/07

Yes, I love seeing some of the reactions people have when the realization hits! This was just a unique case.

Yes, I was genuinely glad to see that she has kept her weight off (she would be 8-10 years out at this point). She may even have lost a few pounds since the last time I saw her. She was, however, wearing a bra that was way too small (creating a large boob "muffin top"... one of my personal fashion pet peeves, but something she has always done), hip hugger type jeans that were too tight (and created a hip-level muffin top) and "stripper heels". She was in her 20s when she had her RNY and then she had "the works" done as far as plastic surgery (but no breast reduction) and some of the PS scars are kind of scary looking so she tends to keep them covered. Lora

14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

Laura in Texas
on 7/21/12 11:04 pm

RNY on 09/17/08

I am glad she has kept it off, too. I love knowing there are long-term success stories out there. But yeah, the wearing clothes too tight without proper fitting undergarments or shapewear is one of my pet-peeves. C'mon, people!! We can do better!!

Laura in Texas

53 years old; 5'7" tall; HW: 339 (BMI=53); GW: 140 CW: 170 (BMI=27)

RNY: 09-17-08 Dr. Garth Davis

brachioplasty: 12-18-09 Dr. Wainwright; lbl/bl: 06-28-11 Dr. LoMonaco

"May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears."

courtwillbehealthy
on 7/21/12 10:32 pm - burlington, VT

since iv lost 76 lbs people dont recognize me, though i havnt been in this situation, its funny to think weight defines us so much. :)

Citizen Kim
on 7/22/12 12:02 am, edited 7/22/12 12:02 am - Castle Rock, CO

RNY on 07/27/04

One of the advantage of moving countries a few times since RNY has been that I have been able to "start over" - I was slightly overweight in Paris, fat in PA, skinny and haggard in Singapore, and normal now in CO!!

Proud Feminist, Atheist, LGBT friend, and Democratic Socialist

MickeyDee
on 7/22/12 12:46 am

There's nothing that says you had to make this woman aware of your presence. If she recognized you, a nod of response and then turning back to your private conversation would have been perfectly correct. Otherwise, a refusal to respond to a recognition is known as "the cut direct" and in olden days was an unspoken means of telling someone you did not wish to know them any longer. (It might also have been responded to by pistols at dawn, but that's a long time ago!!)

Cicerogirl, The PhD
Version
on 7/22/12 2:31 am - OH

RNY on 08/27/07

I watched her (as unobtrusively as possible, of course) for several minutes after she came in and she looked directly at me a couple of times, but there wasn't even a glimmer of recognition. I think we already had that "direct cut" point 6 years ago, so I was relieved that she did not recognize me and I did not have to make a decision about what to do (I am not really sure what I would have done if she had shown even a hint of recognition).

Lora

14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

Ignoring people and relying on them not recognizing you

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Ignoring people and relying on them not recognizing you