Why We Shouldn't Chew Our Food and Then Spit It Out

Yup. Just wanted to point out that it is OKAY to spit if you think it's going to make you vomit, or get dry heaves, or the foamies (whi*****identally, I never got)

I know nothing about this subjectof chewing and spitting except what I have read here.  But for those who feel they really need a taste of "real food" or something in particular, i offer this alternative, which I think is probably a much healthier approach.  So far, at least, it's working for me, in the sense that I am losing, physically healthy and feel  good about it.

In the past three months since surgery, I occassionally have an urge for some particular food...something verboten, as in high carbs, high fat , high sugar or all three.  Often I divert myself with a healthier snack, a change of activity or situation.  But now and then (as in so far, about once a month. that doesn't work.

So, guess what I do...I eat it.  But only a spoonful or two. And I keep it in my mouth as long as I possibly can, squeezing every molecule of pleasure and taste from it.  Then I go about my ordinary business, having satisfied the craving in a mindful way.   One bite of anything isn't going to kill you and it isn't likely to derail your WLS efforts...IF you do it mindfully, making a conscious decision to have the bite, enjoy it and move on and you do it only very occassionally.

I want to be thinner and i want to be healthier, that's why I had WLS. But I have no intention of NEVER again having a homemade cookie offered to me or a bite of creme brulee (my absolute favorite).  I'm not sure my life would be worth living if it was perpetual state of deprivation and denial.

The key to success, I think, is to learn to control the bad urges, to make them less frequent and less urgent, by developing the habit of staying full with healthy foods and by being aware of what, when and how to eat. I realize that for some folks, one bite would be like an alcoholic falling off the wagon, leading to a binge, and I guess each of knows whether that is us or not. But for most of us, I believe, it really is OK to have one bite every now and then.  

That is exactly what I have done ever since my surgery 5 years ago. If I really cannot distract myself from a craving for something (always my first line of attack) then I just have it... but I have one or two bites. I savor each bite, enjoying both the flavor and texture, and then I swallow it. Then I move on. I actually allow myself one small treat per day (<100 calories). Some days I want it and some days I don't, but knowing that I CAN have one actually makes me want it less. It might not work for everyone, but at 5 years out next month, it works for me.

Lora

"one bite would be like an alcoholic falling off the wagon, leading to a binge, and I guess each of knows whether that is us or not. But for most of us, I believe, it really is OK to have one bite every now and then."

You may be right, but I am an alcoholic and former smoker and from past experience, I can attest to the fact that one drag or just one drink can have devastating consequences for me, maybe not everyone. I just don’t know why anyone would with malice of forethought torture themselves by putting things into their body that they will never really be able to have. We all make mistakes and eat things at a party or other occasion, but to plan on just tasting things, well I don’t think that is a good idea at all. At least for a weak minded person like me.    
   

Well, it actually works for me...at least it does at this point in my process.  It's very possible that down the road when appetite comes roaring back, it won't and I'll have to revise.

But I think everyone is different and each of us has to find what works for themselves.  I know that if I felt that I could never eat any of the yummy stuff I love again, I would give up and prefer to simply be fat and die happily stuffed. That would feel like torture to me. 

But I can iive with "it's a sometime thing".  That doesn't feel torturous, it feels, well, healthy.

Moderation and absolutism is an interesting thing when it comes to food. SOME folks tend to think that everyone who is obese is addicted to food. Or addicted to a particular type of food. I reject the notion of "addiction" when it comes to food. (And I reject the mind-set wherein denying addiction is a sign thereof. I'm also not addicted to cocaine, or ecstasy or other illicit drugs... having never had them. Does my statement of non-addiction make addiction a sure thing? I don't think so).

For those who think that Obesity = Food addiction, I can see how moderation is an issue, since moderation for the cocaine addict or the alcohol addict doesn't work.

But if you accept that Obesity does not always equal food addiction, then you can accept that moderation DOES work for some folks. The essential ingredient is in self-knowlege, and in recognizing denial.

For myself, I set two things as "never again" and left it at that. Two things I had daily in quantity. Coca Cola (not diet) and Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. At some point this year I had one Reeses. I wanted to prove to myself that I COULD have it without going back to it. And y'know what? It was as yummy as I remembered it, but I didn't have to go and buy some. In fact, I sell candy in my classroom to subsidize the cost of all the supplies I have to buy for my kids. I had more than 10 Reeses in my possession that I could have eaten after I stepped off the cliff of avoidance, and had one single Reeses Cup (it was in a teacher appreciation goodie bag). I never once was tempted. Haven't had Coca Cola but I have had the occasional sugar soda. (3 of them to date). I'm not losing sleep wanting either of my two "forbidden" foods.

I do everything in moderation, and the things I do in moderation sometimes kick me in the rear (dumping, or reactive hypoglycemia).

I had a LOT I was going to say (typical of me) but just had a 10 minute rude phone call, so I lost the train of thought.

In any case, as someone who is pretty darn sure that food addiction isn't one of my personal food demons, moderation works. I think it's essential that EVERYONE figure out for themselves what they can and cannot do, and then work within that framework.

I think it's important for each of us to know ourselves and our own demons.  I know I am an addict and I know there are things that I need to avoid, like sugar and gluten, because I cannot do them in moderation, and also because I get unpleasant side effects like dumping because I am unable to have a small enough portion to keep from dumping.  I cannot do those things in moderation.  I try but the portions keep creeping up until I get sick.
But there are things that I can do in moderation, like sugar free things like candy and ice cream, that others won't touch but don't bother me at all.  So it's not like I'm against all moderation, only the things that for me moderation doesn't work.  I cannot eat bread with gluten in moderation.  I just can't.  I have over 50 years of trying to prove it to myself.  I can eat gluten free bread in moderation with no problem.  I still have a loaf and a half in my freezer to prove it.  I take out one slice every now and then when I feel like it.  I have one or two pieces of sugar free chocolate a day if I remember it.  If it had sugar in it I could never stop at one or two pieces.  I just physically crave more when I take it in.  Maybe it's psychological but it doesn't matter, I still can't do it so I don't.  Even if it's all in my mind, this is the way it works for me.
I guess what I am trying to say that my issues with food that lead to my obesity were as complex as I am and working on them is an ongoing process.  Maintenance is a lifelong battle.  I have never successfully maintained a stable weight for any length of time.  It's been about a year for me now and to me that's nothing short of amazing.  More amazing then losing weight.  Losing weight is the easy part.  Watching the scale go down is it's own reward.  Watching it do nothing is kind of boring, but that's okay, I can get used to that kind of boring.

Knowing oneself is a HUGE part of this journey we are on.

Those who don't engage in a lot of soul searching, those who expect the surgery to do everything, those who have an adversarial relationship with their surgery and the rules.... they are the ones who have the least success.

I've always applauded your  self-realization posts, because I think they do more than help you... you explain your process, and others with the same demons are likely to key into what you are saying, and those with a different issue might key in to your process and apply it to their own issues and find the pathway easier to follow.

I'm still figuring myself out right now. Trying to determine my flaws and strengths. (and hating the scale)

Those who don't engage in a lot of soul searching, those who expect the surgery to do everything, those who have an adversarial relationship with their surgery and the rules.... they are the ones who have the least success. 

You just described me after my first surgery.  For a long time I believed that the surgery didn't work and then it hit me that when I was eating right I lost weight and kept it off so the surgery must have worked, it must have been me that wasn't' doing it right.  Damn it!  I realized that the surgery didn't work by it's self, that it only worked when I was doing my part, too.  Unfortunately, I wasn't able to do my part, partially because I was hungry all the time do to a lack of restriction because of the way it was done for me, mostly because I didn't want to change the way I ate.  It was like I had a tool but I didn't want to use it and it didn't work very well when I did, if that made sense.  In any case I gave up on the idea of WLS and never would have considered a revision or another surgery if I hadn't been having problems that caused me to have a poor quality of life that required a revision.  Because I needed a revision I decided to do that soul searching.  I figured if I was going to do this again I might as well make the best of it and find out why I failed.  I really didn't want to fail a second time.  Once was bad enough.  I really didn't want to be a two time loser.  I figured not many people even got one shot and here I was getting my second chance I  might as well make the most of it.  I didn't even tell most people other then those who had to know because I felt like such a loser that I didn't want them to know that I had failed one WLS so I was having another one.
Anyway, I don't think I am considered a vet around here but I kind of feel like I am since I have been living with altered guts for nearly 10 years and I have up front and personal experience with what happens when you do everything wrong.  I probably say things that new people don't want to hear but I will say this.  If I was a fresh new person and someone came along who had WLS 10 years ago and was open about messing up and was willing to share how and why, I would listen because I would rather learn from their mistakes then from my own.  You may not want to hear what I have to say but it may save your ass one of these days.

I don't know about anyone else, but I consider you a vet.  You are also uniquely qualified to share with people from first-hand experience how any WLS can fail (and, for purposes of this post, I am not considering lap band a WLS since the success rates on it are SO abysmal and there are SO many people who can attest to it failing).  VERY important stuff.

Lora