job rant - manager expects too much

For those of you who do not know, I have a full-time job, a part-time job, a house/yard/dog to care for by myself, and am working on a dissertation to complete my PhD in Psychology... and I try to come here for at least a little bit very day or every other day... so my plate is quite full.

At my full-time job, we had some problems develop late at night on July 2 and we all worked extra hours on Tuesday so we could still have the holiday off, and then worked extra hours on Thursday and Friday, and even worked part of Saturday AND Sunday.  I have a "progress" meeting with my dissertation Chair coming up, so I really need to work on that, and with the extreme heat, the flowers/shrubs need watered to stay alive (I have given up on the grass) which takes time.  I put in  30 extra hours in the past week and they want extra hours tonight AND tomorrow night.  I have a support group meeting tonight that I will likely have to miss and I have a psych eval to do tomorrow that I cannot cancel or reschedule, so I told them that I absolutely cannot work more than 7 hours tomorrow and one of the managers got really pissy about it.  When I pointed out how many extra hours I have been working already and that I have other responsibilities to attend to (especially since I am single and cannot just shift tasks off to a spouse/partner), I was basically told that I wasn't being a team player!  How is working a 70-hour week and putting other responsibilties on the back burner NOT being a team player?!?  Other people are allowed to not work in the evening because they have children that need them, but yet MY obligations are apparently not as acceptable.  Their kids need picked up from daycare and fed.  Well, my dog needs to be LET OUTSIDE and fed. It ****** me off that because my responsibilities are not standard ones, they don't count.... and just because this particular manager CHOOSES to wor****il all hours of the night, doesn't mean he has the right to expect everyone else to do the same!  With the economy the way it is, I cannot afford to jeopardize my job (and I am thankful to HAVE one), but this is freaking ridiculous, and this past week I have been doing way too much grabbing quick, easy, and often not terribly healthy meals just to keep my blood sugar up and not getting enough sleep even when I can sleep..

Lora

Very sorry to hear that Lora. Managers can be very uncompromisng. In many ways that is why I am glad to do 99% of my work outside of the "public" (boss's) eye .... kids are watching. I hate interacting with a "boss" in any way shape or form, particularly when they are of teh "do as I say and not as I do" variety.

While I value my integrity, I might make something up that would be acceptable in the interests of job security and peace of mind. Good luck.

 That stinks! I totally empathize with your situation. 

I ran into that a lot before I got married. I always filled in for those who had kids, other obligations, etc., but whenever I needed someone to cover for me, it rarely happened. It's unfortunate that others think that just because you're single, that you don't have your own obligations and things you want to do. 

Now, I'm a stay-at-home mom until I can figure out the best work situation for me. ;)

 Bosses want what they want. I don't think they expect themselves to be reasonable or logical. 

Wasn't there an episode of Sex and the City in which Samantha threw herself a Single Shower?...she felt entitled to one, as her friends had baby showers. She chose not to breed and didn't see why she shouldn't be celebrated, too.

I hasten to add I have kids, love them, wouldn't have missed it. I'm just saying it's not the only way to travel, and those who go another route have obligations just as important as mommies and daddies.

But that's what you already said.

70 hours a week is not being a team player?  Good grief!  Please tell me you at least get paid overtime for that.

I would be really offended too if you were expected to do that because you don't have kids at home but others that do have kids were not expected to do the same.  And really, I think it's ridiculous when employers expect employees to be able to work 30 extra hous a week, period. 

I can understand that under certain cir****tances, some professionals need to work extra hours.  Things can come up.  When I worked as a nursing assistance, one night I worked second shift and the third shift person that was supposed to relieve just didn't show up.  I had to stay and ended up working 16 hours.  I wasn't happy, mostly because I didn't have any food with me and I was hungry and there was no where around that was open to run out and grab something.  But I stayed because I was being a team player and because my patients needed someone there and it was just the right thing to do.

But my employer certainly didn't expect me to do 16 hours shifts all the time.  And when someone didn't show up for work on my day off and my supervisor called to see if I could come in and I said no because I had other obligations, that was fine.  I wasn't accused of not being a team player!

Do you know how long this extra work is going to go on?  You need to finish your dissertation and get your degree so you can change jobs!  Sorry you're going to have to miss group tonight.  Feel free to give me a call later if you want to talk.

 Unfortunately, no, I do NOT get paid for overtime (which of coursemakes the situation even worse).  Yes, I am used to having to put in extra hours right before a deadline (but that I can -- and do -- plan for) but usually if we have unexpected system problems it is only a day or two of extra hours.  

I have decided that I am going to talk to one of the other managers tomorrow and address the issue of my commitments versus those of others.

Lora

that really bites. managers and supervisors should be there to be uplifting and encouraging, not be nasty because you have a commitment.

 You and I should swap boss stories sometime!  I have some doozies that will make you feel good about your current situation.  But sorry to hear that it is sucking for ya at this point!

That really sucks Lora.

As a former single person, I got fed up with getting the shaft because I didn't have kids or a husban to take care of.  People expect that you do not have a life if you are single.

 Exactly!  If I did have a husband, though, HE could be letting the dog out and cutting grass and helping with grocery shopping, etc. instead of me having to juggle it all... So I actually have MORE to do in many ways than have who are married with kids.  If I had my new Chow puppy already, I would flat out be refusing to work any extra hours unless it was from home.  When  I do get the puppy, I am planning to take some vacation time and work only half days for a few weeks so I only have to leave the puppy for a few hours at a time until he is a bit older and better able to control his bladder.

Lora