OT - Not sure what I need but I need something

I just wanted to say hang in there! I had just started frequenting the board when you lost your Mom and everyone was so supportive and love you dearly! I can see why!    We lost my Dad 5 years ago very unexpectedly and my Mom has yet to get rid of much.  She sold his car because it was older and just deteriating in the carport and it was a gas guzzler anyway.  First time I came over and that car was gone I had to have a moment!  Still doesn't seem real.....There is so much to go through and determine who would want what and how it needs to be divided (i don't want that fight when she's gone).     ((((((((((hugs)))))))))  just know your the best!  Sherry

Nik, I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost my mom too, but it was not sudden.  When I found out that my mom had cancer and only 3 to 6 months to live it threw me for a  loop as you can well imagine.  I shared about this in AA meetings and this wonderful women gave me a book called,"How to Survive the Loss of a Love" and I have given  more copies of this book, to countless people, throughout the years.  It let me know that I am not crazy.  Grieving is a private thing and as individualized as we are different, but the book let me know that I'm not crazy. 

 Thanks Reggie.

You're welcome Deb.

 My thoughts are with you. My Mom died (unexpectedly) 15 years ago and I can still remember how lost I felt. I picked a star in the sky and would go out every evening and talk to it (her) for a long time. She had just bought my step-son some gumball vitamins and I kept that in my cabinet for I know at least 2 years. The wisest thing anyone said to me during that time was that whatever I was feeling,was ok, there was no right or wrong way to grieve. Be good to yourself and know that she is watching you from above and whatever you feel. whatever you decide to do, "it's ok".

just try and if you can't don't. Tell your stepdad. I'd think he would understand. My Mom died in January and I'll be going back for the second time next week. I wake up sometimes and can still hear her voice. It's hard and it's individual and nothing you do is wrong. hugs, Judi