How I believe WE sometimes perpetuate negative opinions of obesity

If you are idealistic, I am right there with you.

Lora

I so agree with you about just saying nothing rather than lying.  A friend of mine that lives in another state sent me a msg. on FB-and I didn't even recognize her.  I had moved from Minnesota to Colorado a little over 10 yrs. ago and hadn't seen or talked to her all that time.  All of a sudden I get a msg. from her and in our conversations, her weight loss had come up and she had told me she had lost 100 lbs. by diet and exercise, ie., no carbs, dairy, daily lower calorie intake, etc.  Well, I had done the same thing and lost over 50 lbs in 5 months.  But, I killed myself-I wrote down everything that went into my mouth, did at least 30 min. of weight resistance or cardio 5 days a week-more like, at least, an hour and cut out ALL rice, bread, pasta, dairy and all processed foods.  Then, a friend of ours told me that she had WLS and doesn't exercise at all.  I though to myself, why would she lie about that?  I talked to my surgeon and he said, yes you could lose 50 lbs., but only 5% of people that lose 50-100 lbs. can keep it off long term.  He also said obesity is a disease, it can be controlled, but people must constantly monitor it.  He said that is why people that attend the seminars or join a support group are usually the ones that are successful long term.  It just irked me that she thought  she would have to lie about that, especially knowing how long I have struggled with my weight.

I've never lied about it. I just leave out the fact that I had RNY instead of a GERD surgery. Most people just aren't that into me that they want to know.

Well said!

I appreciate the view.

If I had it to do over again, I think I would have shared with the world. I know that for me in the beginning when I was trying to get approved. I couldn't face the personal inner-shame if I discovered that I was a failure at even GETTING WLS on top of being a failure at never losing weight. So I kept it to myself. When I was finally approved, I decided not to share beccause of the other teacher and fiscal concerns.

For the most part I don't talk about it at all. I do have a "fat picture" on the wall in my classroom. If my students ask about it (and usually they don't) I talk about the lifestyle changes that are encompassed in having an RNY without HAVING an RNY. I tell them that I had surgery to "cure the GERD" and so not eating solid foods for 2 months was a headstart towards losing weight, but I emphasize that it is more than just eating small portions and exercise (well, I don't talk about exercise, since I DON'T exercise). But I discuss small meal sizes, not drinking while eating, not drinking after eating, etc etc etc. Often, for teens, who are only beginning to embark on the road towards being SMO, the nutrition things I know now are much better than the nutrition things I knew then. Of course they're all more up on nutrition than I was before I came here.

I don't generally talk about it much though, because my peers have forgotten that I was big, and my students would rather think about themselves and the cute guy/girl sitting next to them, not the old fuddy duddy with a pink streak in her hair. So mostly it's just not a topic for discussion. I never say it was just "diet and exercise". Nobody hearing me talk about it thinks it was simple. But I'm a kind of private person at school. I spend 95% of my work day amongst teenagers. Talking geometry

I agree with you.  I am all for the right to privacy.  But if it's no one's business how you lost your weight, then why make up something?  Why not just say "None of your business?"  Or, you know, something a bit more polite like "I prefer not to discuss my  medical history, thanks."

Nik, Kim, Lora


BRAVO.  Love yall!!

 Thank you!  I agree 100% but....

I am scheduled for surgery on July 17th.  I do NOT plan on sharing this with some people like coworkers, etc... not because I am ashamed, but because I feel it's just my private business.  If I had any other kind of surgery, there would still only be a small circle of people I would share it with.  

 See...here's the essential fallacy with that argument.

Your PRIVATE business has PUBLIC implications. People will see you changing. They will ask questions. What will you say? Will you lie? Tell a half truth?

With other kinds of surgery, many times nobody HAS to know. They can't see the effects. This surgery is different. 

It's still your right to keep it private but know that doing so is not easy and, as Lora pointed out, the way you handle it COULD perpetuate negative feelings about WLS in general.

 Oh my gosh.. I will not lie.  Yes, I suspect the people will ask and such (or ask others if they know).  I won't lie, but I just do not see myself as a walking billboard for WLS.  I will tell who I want, and if someone asks... I have the choice to tell them about my WLS, or tell them that it's personal.   

Take pregnancy for example... I was always told by my mother "never ask a woman how far along she is, unless you actually SEE a baby come out!".  That was my mom's nice way of teaching us that unless we're sure... we really shouldn't ask.  

I am not ashamed, I just do not want to be the poster person at work for WLS.