A morsel for thought

 (Slipping into Dr. Phil mode)

Now that's something you ought to explore. Your birthday aside, why did you feel like you were missing out on something? The rice might have made your stomach hurt. At the very least it might have made you feel guilty about eating it. So really what you were missing out on was the negative associations with food. They don't have those negative associations so it's not quite the same.

I understand you wanting it to be about you. I think that's one of the first and toughest lessons in our post-op lives. But to me it doesn't seem very different from my pre-op life. When I had birthday dinners there were a bunch of dishes - some I liked, some I didn't. I picked what I wanted and left what I didn't and other folks had things that they liked too. So it was a choice.

I think if you look at it not as you CAN'T have rice but that you don't WANT rice (and that distinction takes time!) you'll feel better about it. But think about it. Have you eaten every single thing set before you on a table for your birthday before surgery?

Just throwing out some objective questions to help you work through this. 

Thanks Nik. You can Dr Phil me anytime! I wasn't so upset about the rice other than I would have liked a different choice that I could eat. A vegatable or something. My meal just felt boring with just the salmon and the salad. And I really did want the cake. That's what was hard. I didn't want to deal with having something in front of me that everyone else could eat and I couldn't. And yes I realize I can take a bite or two of cake, but for me I find it easier to take 0 bites than to take only 2 so I just refrain. I logically understant that cake has lots of stuff I don't need and it isn't doing me any favors to eat it, but I still want it and I prefer not to have temptation staring me in the face. And I felt like it was rude for my MIL to make it for everyone else knowing full well I wouldn't eat it. I sat there with my sad litle bowl on sugar free sorbet while everyone else chowed down on chocolate cake which by the way she placed in front of me to blow out the candles. Oh well, thanks for reading my rant! I'm moving on.....