Oh, no she didn't! Oh yes, my MOTHER did...
I probably am as old as your mom and have said some dumb **** to my "kids" 35,35,37 , but does she want you to be blind and loose limbs to diabetes ? like her ?
Honestly regardless of how much you love your mother and SON ....YOU should not be disrespected, shut that ignorant boy up and set him straight. YOU better start expecting more from the people that love you , including yourself.
I understand wanting to keep the peace if you all live together , but what your mother is saying is coming out of your son's mouth and that is disrespectful.
Set boundaries , and start training others how to treat you.
Sorry if this was harsh , but i felt I needed to say it .
Good luck !!
Honestly regardless of how much you love your mother and SON ....YOU should not be disrespected, shut that ignorant boy up and set him straight. YOU better start expecting more from the people that love you , including yourself.
I understand wanting to keep the peace if you all live together , but what your mother is saying is coming out of your son's mouth and that is disrespectful.
Set boundaries , and start training others how to treat you.
Sorry if this was harsh , but i felt I needed to say it .
Good luck !!
Donna Q. --5'8" -60 years old
Band 2005
hw320 sw276 lw with band 195 gw 160-180?
Bypass 4/4/2012
pre sw 258 lw RNY 162 cw 203
Hi there. I'm a new member looking at bypass and I have heard the "easy way out" lots as I talk to my friends about having surgery. I tell them that I believe that there is a real difference between someone who is overweight like "them" (teensie bit, like 40 lbs) and us, (lots, like 100 lbs).
I don't seem to win these discussions and they feel I am being lazy about dieting. It's true I am lazy (hate to excersize - I hope this changes with the weight loss), but I don't think these people really understand what OUR weight problem is. More than ordinary will power is needed I tell them.
Oh well.
I am looking to others like you who have gone through the "your lazy" stuff for support for me becaue you know - and they don't seem to.
I don't seem to win these discussions and they feel I am being lazy about dieting. It's true I am lazy (hate to excersize - I hope this changes with the weight loss), but I don't think these people really understand what OUR weight problem is. More than ordinary will power is needed I tell them.
Oh well.
I am looking to others like you who have gone through the "your lazy" stuff for support for me becaue you know - and they don't seem to.
FleurDeLis
on 6/24/12 5:04 am
on 6/24/12 5:04 am
1. Your child has to learn from you. Now. It is absolutely not right to allow him to behave like that. He has to learn manners. If he treats family like this how is he going to treat others? He'll never do well in school or get a job with that mouth or attitude. Change it now while it is easier.
2. As for your mother, at times like these I remember what He said when He was on the cross. "Father forgive them. they don't know what they're doing."
It is sad but once the diabetes puts her into an early grave--probably after it makes her an amputee--once she gets to heaven only then will she understand what she is doing to herself or to you. Please forgive her.
2. As for your mother, at times like these I remember what He said when He was on the cross. "Father forgive them. they don't know what they're doing."
It is sad but once the diabetes puts her into an early grave--probably after it makes her an amputee--once she gets to heaven only then will she understand what she is doing to herself or to you. Please forgive her.
It's amazing how the ones who should be supporting us can be so dense with their comments. I'm sorry your mom and son said such things. I struggled for monthsjust to decide whether or not to even have the surgery. I'm still pre-op and nothing about this seems easy to me! I can only imagine how it as post-surgery. Know in your heart that you did the right thing for you and that others, well...they just don't know.
Ughhhhhhhh. The WORST. My mom told me last month, "You know you have to lose weight." I just went through a regain (15 lbs) at 3 years out. I was livid. I couldn't believe I just lost 100 pounds and someone (MY MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) would say that. If people only knew that this is NOT EASY, we changed our whole entire lives with this surgery. They should try puking up foam and drinking protein powder instead of drinking alcohol and eating plain greek yogurt everyday. Bleck! We don't LOVE THIS, we just had to because we were out of control. No one understands unless you're one of us-- a person who had the BALLS to get their digestive system surgically re-arranged to help us lose weight for our HEALTH.
SORRY you went through this. I really am. Now I am kinda pissed at my mom again. Your post brought it back up. LOL!
SORRY you went through this. I really am. Now I am kinda pissed at my mom again. Your post brought it back up. LOL!
Hello Everyone!
Thank you all that responded to this post. Each and everyone of you is absolutely right about everything.
My son is out of control with his mouth. You know I know it but sometimes it takes someone outside looking in to paint the real picture. That now is what I am most upset about because he is a reflection of me and my rearing. I don't care what is what, he has no business talking to me or anyone like that, ever. This has been an ongoing battle recently had to start reprimanding him a lot more about his mouth. Again, I take the blame but it is going to stop.
My mother, oh my mother... There is so much to say about her but for the sake of brevity:
1. I do think she is "old school" in her thinking but it is not an excuse. She knows that this was the best thing to do for myself.
2. I know she would NEVER admit it but I do think she does get jealous. Not so much of me, but the fact that I am getting healthier by the hour.
3. She has completely ruined my child. I am not trying to place the blame on her but she is a HUGE reason why he is the way he is.
She has lived with me (I do not live with her) since my early adulthood. My dad, who was obese and had all the fun co-morbidities to go with it, died when I was 19 (he was 65) from a massive heart attack. He was not necessarily sick. It was very sudden and unexpected. Mom and I have been together basically ever since.
She has spoiled my son ROTTEN. He is very disrespectful to her because she allows it and now he is doing it to me. His whole life, she won't discipline him and she often interferes with the discipline I give.
Long, long, long story short, she and I living together forever is NOT the best situation for either of us or my son. I really don't know how to change it especially since she is legally blind now and is so dependent on me for a lot. I do love her so much but honestly for the past couple of years, I can see how unhappy (for SOOOO many reasons) I am living with her. I just try to be a good daughter.
I don't even know what all I said in this post... It feels good to get some of it out. Thank you all for listening and offering great advice and words of encouragement. I sincerely appreciate it all.
Lisa
Thank you all that responded to this post. Each and everyone of you is absolutely right about everything.
My son is out of control with his mouth. You know I know it but sometimes it takes someone outside looking in to paint the real picture. That now is what I am most upset about because he is a reflection of me and my rearing. I don't care what is what, he has no business talking to me or anyone like that, ever. This has been an ongoing battle recently had to start reprimanding him a lot more about his mouth. Again, I take the blame but it is going to stop.
My mother, oh my mother... There is so much to say about her but for the sake of brevity:
1. I do think she is "old school" in her thinking but it is not an excuse. She knows that this was the best thing to do for myself.
2. I know she would NEVER admit it but I do think she does get jealous. Not so much of me, but the fact that I am getting healthier by the hour.
3. She has completely ruined my child. I am not trying to place the blame on her but she is a HUGE reason why he is the way he is.
She has lived with me (I do not live with her) since my early adulthood. My dad, who was obese and had all the fun co-morbidities to go with it, died when I was 19 (he was 65) from a massive heart attack. He was not necessarily sick. It was very sudden and unexpected. Mom and I have been together basically ever since.
She has spoiled my son ROTTEN. He is very disrespectful to her because she allows it and now he is doing it to me. His whole life, she won't discipline him and she often interferes with the discipline I give.
Long, long, long story short, she and I living together forever is NOT the best situation for either of us or my son. I really don't know how to change it especially since she is legally blind now and is so dependent on me for a lot. I do love her so much but honestly for the past couple of years, I can see how unhappy (for SOOOO many reasons) I am living with her. I just try to be a good daughter.
I don't even know what all I said in this post... It feels good to get some of it out. Thank you all for listening and offering great advice and words of encouragement. I sincerely appreciate it all.
Lisa
Lisa 
I want to say to you what your mother SHOULD HAVE.
" You made such a momentous choice. You chose to be healthy. You chose to be a mother that was fully present and fully involved because you chose to BE THERE instead of overeating and killing yourself with food. I am so very proud of you, and I love you. "
I'm sorry. I wish I could take the pain of those words from you. There is no easy way out with weight loss when your body is broken. It simply needs to be fixed, like a cardiac bypass or removal of a tumor- it's a healing.
" You made such a momentous choice. You chose to be healthy. You chose to be a mother that was fully present and fully involved because you chose to BE THERE instead of overeating and killing yourself with food. I am so very proud of you, and I love you. "
I'm sorry. I wish I could take the pain of those words from you. There is no easy way out with weight loss when your body is broken. It simply needs to be fixed, like a cardiac bypass or removal of a tumor- it's a healing.
Rny 2.14.12
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