Oh, no she didn't! Oh yes, my MOTHER did...

 Good for you for standing up for youself!! And for choosing to be healthy for you and your children. 

Well, kids know how to hurt us easiest; so as his parent, it's totally OK for you to tell him off
in no uncertain terms.

If you'd had cancer, would it not have been OK to have surgery? How about gall bladder
problems? Maybe other horrible health problems??? Morbid Obesity is as insoluble a problem medically as any of these. Tell him to do his research online (Morbid obesity, bariatric surgery, Metabolic Syndrome, Diabetes II, regain after weight loss through diet and exercise) and get
educated, before he speaks to you so disrespectfully, then cut him off from his toys until he
can keep his mouth shut. What a kid....

As for your mom, it's perfectly OK as one adult to another to tell her to take a hike. Or better
yet, to join you on yours!!!

Hang in there, don't let the uneducated and ignorant bigots drag you down and deter you from
your quest for health.

 We all knew before surgery that there are people who are going to say things to us that we don't agree with.  Not everyone is going to support the choices we make and the differences we just have to deal with.  I do believe that some people are born without filters.  I haven't told my dad because everything I have ever done is either stupid or wrong and I don't want to hear his crap.  Don't let your mom get to you.  You take care of yourself and it's your sons future that you want to be in that is the best reason.  

Well, does your mother drive a car?  Because that's easier than walking.

Does your mother use indoor plumbing?  Because that's easier than an outhouse.

Does your mother buy a gallon of milk, or is she milking the cow?

Surgery DOES make it easier to lose weight.  It DOES!   But, there is SO much that goes into the surgery, the process, the upkeep after, the years and years of vitamins, of watching what you eat, of nourishing your body...there's NOTHING easy about that.

As for your nine year old, kids can be jerks.  I know, I've got three of them (all daughters, two are grown).  Kids grow out of it.

I would be VERY curious to know if your mother is overweight herself?  Is there any possibility she is jealous.

Be strong...

I'm not even going to touch the situation with your mother, as you've gotten plenty of good advice on that situation.

But one thing that struck me when I read your post was your comment that "He's 9 and kids are ignorant like that."

No. No no no. Just no.
If a kid is saying mean and hurtful things out of ignorance, it is your job as a parent to make that child NOT ignorant of those things. Children can innocently make raw observations many times that can be hurtful, but as for meanness, they don't learn that in a vacuum--it's coming from somewhere. From your mother? From peers at school? Wherever it's coming from, you need to stop it and have an open communication with him. Make him aware of not only how hurtful his words are, but work on other ways to encourage him to express his feelings and thoughts on your procedure, without making you feel like crap in the process.

 took the words right out of my mouth 

I'm glad someone said it.  Ain't no way in HELL I'd let a kid I birthed, feed, clothe, and provide shelter for even THINK about opening his or her mouth to say something as mean, hurtful, and disrespectful as that to me...to my face....without picking up a few teeth off the floor afterwards. 

I hear you! Like I said, I let him make that time. Believe me, this is not the norm in my house.

You are absolutely right. Usually, I do not let him make comments like that (and I really didn't let him off the hook this time) but, in this instance, I probably instigated it by telling him that he was getting fat (he is).

He is super sensitive and now especially  about his "man boobs" and love handles and I probably wasn't as tactful as I should have been when saying something to him about it and that was his way of retaliating.

I remember him crying so hard the day before I had surgery because he was so afraid for me. I told him he had to be strong like me and everything would be okay. I was doing something to save my life not end it.

I do think he is getting it from my mother because it is not easy at all. I will continue to talk to him. But, really, he knows. And, no matter what, I do need to nip his "loose lips" in the bud. Not just about this but for so many things... Thank you.

 being a kid can be tough, and if he's starting to get overweight, it can be a lot to deal with.  i'm not trying to be mean or judging (so please i hope you don't take it like that) but if my mom called me fat (and i was an overweight child), it would have crushed my WHOLE world.  

my daughter needs to lose a few pounds, not a lot, maybe 5, and I try hard to focus on healthy choices and activity with her.  we don't say 'fat' in this house, we talk about healthy.  she's there when i weigh in every week and knows why i had surgery, etc.  

but i cannot blame her because as a child she ONLY learned lessons about health and nutrition from me, so it's my job to work on changing them.  She is taking to it very well and eats more fruits and vegetables then anyone i know.  easily 10 servings a day.  she has been taking karate all year and i just signed up to take the summer session with her as well.