So you really think you're somebody, huh?

One thing I’ve noticed, and I’m not sure if this is specific to the US, or Maryland, or Baltimore or if it is just ME but…

People don’t tend to like confident people UNLESS they have money or fame to back it up. If you are a regular Joe (or Jo) and you dare to have some swagger…well, how dare you!

I estimate this affects our lives a lot. We were once these bigger people. And maybe we dressed nice but we certainly never bragged on ourselves. Maybe we were flirtatious but we certainly never commanded the room’s attention. (Or did we?)

Now not only do we have the nerve to be getting smaller, but we have a little bounce in our step. And we linger just a bit too long at the mirror. And we LIKE trying on clothes. And we think we are awesome cuz we’re exercising. And we think we are even awesomer for eating healthy foods. And we get a new haircut and we show some cleavage (or biceps for the mens) and…

This is all just a little too much for those people in your life who a) may be bigger than you now when they weren’t before and defined THEMSELVES as “the small one" b) already think you shouldn’t have swagger because ya ain’t rich OR famous (who do you think you are, Kim Kardashian???) or  c) are really, really, really afraid that now that you KNOW how awesome you are other people may start to notice it too!

You really ought to be ashamed of yourself stressing people out like this!

In all seriousness though. For newer folks, chances are you’re going to come up against this mentality at some point. I just want you to know a few things:

1.    ONLY YOUR OPINION OF YOU REALLY COUNTS. Granted, it’s probably  not good to walk around all the time with a head the size of Texas. Be strategic in your “bragadociousness" but at the end of the day, what YOU see in the mirror and feel in your heart is important. After all the only one that has to live in your skin is you.

2.    YES, YOU ARE CHANGING – AND THAT IS NOT A BAD THING. Your family will hurl that at you like an insult. To which you should respond by blinking and staring like a deer caught in the headlights and say, “And?" Because, really, isn’t changing the point of this whole exercise?

3.    FOCUSING ON YOU DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE NEGLECTING OTHERS. Despite what anyone tells you, the old airplane adage really is true. You aren’t much use to others if you don’t have your own stuff together. A better you really does benefit them. They just can’t see that yet…

So just a little Friday encouragement.

 This post made me laugh out loud. :)  Thanks for the smile. 

Great post, Nik.  My husband has been super-supportive, but he did make one comment that I had to call him on.  He was considering RNY for himself, and then he reconsidered, saying that he didn't want to become totally focused on himself.  Uh-huh. 

We talked it out, and it turns out that he does feel a bit neglected, and a little threatened by my new appearance, but he knows I am doing what I need to do and he wants me to be successful.  So he continues to cheer me on, and I am learning to show him more gratitude for that.  I know a lot of folks do not have a cheering section.

Anyway, even the most supportive people in our lives may subtly pressure us to ease up a little, and we have to be strong.

Oh no, even as a big girl I commanded the rooms attention....Cuz I got it like that. bahaha.

My dh has always been my biggest cheerleader. Same as some of my friends....that is until I got smaller then some them. (Not all, a few).

Oh and BTW I would kill for Kim K's butt! LOL

I found myself shaking my head in agreement throughout your post.  This is important for the newer post-ops to realize as they face lots of situations in the next couple of years.

I've seen and heard comments very similar to the above.  The changes impact not only us but our friends and family to a degree as we change (some maybe not, I DID and have no regrets about it) so my suggestion to others that may hear/see comments that catch them off guard don't dwell on those comments, it's an adjustment but once things settle down all works out for you and all invovled.

Love your posts everytime!! Thank you for them!!

Thank you for posting this. I've already encountered one of these people, who happens to be my mother in law. Her words don't really bother me, because I realize it's her issue, not mine, however...

After I was discharged from the hospital, and my husband was driving me home, my MIL called to tell me about how her friend died from WLS, and the others were soooo sick all the time. Great conversation, right?

One week out from surgery, she saw me measuring my food at a birthday party and her comment was "You have to measure your food? That's so disgusting." Then later on at the same party, in front of everybody, she went on and on about how she's lost 30 pounds but is still in "fat clothes" (size 14). I told her to don't even talk to me about 14 being fat. 

Now she avoids talking to me, and I prefer it that way until she can grow up and put on her big girl panties. 

 Love it! Thank you for sharing those words of wisdom!

"People don’t tend to like confident people UNLESS they have money or fame to back it up. If you are a regular Joe (or Jo) and you dare to have some swagger…well, how dare you!"

So true!!!!! Me and my girls live with my mom. We live in a very nice suburb (one I definitely could not afford to live in if we had not combined households). The moms out here used to be nice to me until I lost weight. Then things changed. But I am proud to report that my daughter got invited to a party we went to earlier today (quite honestly I wanted to skip it).   It was the party of one of the girls of the snobby mom group. I played nice and was very social with the other moms. And they were actually nice back!! I also got lots of compliments on my arms...lol. Yay for me!! 

Laura

Bc your arms are HAWT