Missing Khan, fear, and a carb-fest

The house has been very quiet this week without the sound of Khan's panting, and has felt very empty (even though I still have my Scottie).  The testiness is getting better but I still miss him terribly. I got Khan as a way to deal with the fact that even though my rape was several years ago (and, fortunately, did NOT happen in my home) I am still fearful of it happening again.  Having a big male Chow with a very deep and menacing bark in the house made me feel much safer.  They are extremely protective, and with their (somewhat undeserved) reputation for being "mean", it was unlikely that anyone was going to go through Khan to get to me.  Although I will be getting a replacement puppy, the puppy is not even born yet, so it will be  close to a year before his protective instincts kick in and he is large enough to be intimidating.  That's a year of me being afraid to have ground level windows open, etc.. I live in a good neighborhood and have an alarm system (but it is no longer monitored by ADT... but the siren works and someone else is not going to know that it isn't monitored.  I also have Max as an "alarm system", so at least I could call 911.  I felt so safe with Khan, and I am just struggling with losing that.

The result has been a three-day complete carbfest.  I have easily had more carbs -- in the form of NSA ice cream, bagel halves, CheezIts, bread (turkey and PB&J sandwich halves), dark chocolate Kisses, pizza crust, and pretzels -- in the last three days than I usually have in an entire week.  I know that I just need to make up my mind to get back to my normal eating. It is just hard to care right now, and that sap cares me a little. 

I guess I just needed to put it down in black and white, but any suggestions for motivating myself are welcome.

Lora

It's always sad to lose a friend, and one that made you feel safe is even more difficult.

How about adopting a large "rescue" dog?   There's quite a supply of large adult dogs, and if you go through a good organization, they are screened for temperment.

Good luck.

 My thoughts are with you, I hope things get easier for you. If it were me, I wouldn't beat myself up over the carbfest -- every day is a fresh start. Hang in there.

 Not feeling safe is a scary place to be. I hope you can find a way to get past that place.
Carbs are just a side effect..but really girl..whatcha doing with Cheez-it's in the house?? That's crack stuff!
Grief and fear...hard to work through. I'm doing the grief thing right now too. A day a time..a day at time.
Deb T...who had yogurt covered almonds in the house for about 3 hours. They are gone now.

I am chagrined to have to admit that I didn't originally have the CheezIts in the house... I bought them at the same time I bought the ice cream, SF fudge sauce, and a box of Golden Grahams cereal (that I have managed to not open yet).

Lora

 You have always been a woman of wisdom when I read your posts!  Take your own
great "advice"...You don't drown by falling in the water, you drown by staying there.  

 You did what you could to feel better. As the I Ching says, No Blame.
   Is there something else you can do to feel and be safer? I have no watchdog, so I have a gun. It's not as cuddly as a dog but it gives me a sense of security. Can you subscribe to the security company again until the future doggie becomes protective? Hang wind chimes at possible points of entry? Install better lighting?

My cat's one flaw is that she's only useful as a watchcat if I happen to see her run and hide when someone nears the house. There are times I would love to have a Khan in my life.

Since it sounds like you have a replacement puppy planned, how about fostering a rescue dog in the meantime, to help feel safer? Something large and protective!

Not even born yet? When your breeder knew this was coming? Why aren't you at the top of the waiting list? Or are you?

Being a foster mom for awhile might not be a bad idea if yourother dog is good with it. As a Chow mom you have an advantage in being familiar with the breed and come with a pedigree yourself for the rescue group. There might be an older dog in need who is house trained.

For about $15 a month WalMart and a few other places market one of those "fallen and I can't get up" type systems with no contract that works wherever you have cell service at home or on the road.

In the meantime you know what you have to do. Exercise is going to help you feel better as well as help burn up the extra calories. Being groggy from having eaten too much isn't going to help in an emergency when you need to be alert.

Maybe cats do it different. I had breeders from here to the east coast willing to met me on the turnpike if necessary to get a replacement brother for my cat. I think the whole breed community knew thanks to the cat show grapevine. Luckily we got Tigger as a rescue two years ago and Hunter took a liking to him but he still doesn't know how to sleep Hunter's way. I think about his missing brother all the time. Hunter is sleeping in a bed near me right now. When I get up he will follow me to my bedroom.

If I do have surgery this summer I want to put off getting a kitten until afterward. His new brother has already been born. The timing is not good. If I have to spend a month in rehab afer surgery I'm afraid the little guy is going to have a kitty nervous breakdown if I disappear too so soon after his brother.

My dearly departed cat's brother is dealing with his grief by marking his territory to let the other cats know what is his. His favorite targets are me, myself and I. At least you don't have that problem. He did this when his adopted cat mom passed away two years ago too. I'm afraid to make up the bed. He seems to really prefer clean sheets as another target. Right now Hunter just got up and he's just looking all around opening cabinets. It took a while last time for him to adjust.

If it would make you feel better and you want to give in to the paranoia you can always nail/screw your windows shut. Good outdoor lighting that is motion activated is a must. I have a custom set of burglar bars from the old house if you want to try them. Two are for indoors and the others go on outside. Your inner city Home Depot should stock the cheap generic kind but mine are stronger and full length.

I'm not a fan of ADT. I prefer a system with a cell back-up and a system with a separate alarm panel and control box elsewhere from a local company. Mine also monitors the furnace and power.

What you could do is set up security cameras. That way you can see what is going on outside and inside. One of the landlords at another website had his system set up so we could tune in to see what was happening at his property on the internet when we had nothing else to do and pan the cameras ourselves. Those are a good deterrent. I think there is a nanny can system somewhere that lets you use a smart phone to monitor your system. One trail camera shoots infrared at night and uploads pictures to the internet. I used it one night to see what the cats were up to.

Remember that if you set up electric fencing you need at least three wires to the ground or a shock won't be delivered.

Burglars fear smaller dogs. They are faster to bite. Give the Scottie some credit.

Yes, I am the top of the waiting list (well, two waiting lists, actually... for a red male or a cream male). The only litter that they have had since I told her that Khan was going downhill (about two months ago) had only black puppies.  There are 6 litters due between late this month and early July, five of which might have reds or creams.  One litter is from Khan's brother, though, and she knows that I will not accept a puppy from that litter.  Still, I should have a new puppy by late July or early August, and certainly by the end of August.

I have been thinking about installing motion detecting lights (using floodlights for the back) for several years now, and I think that is probably a good idea (even with a Chow).  As I said, it is a nice, quiet, suburban neighborhood... and I have lived within 5 square miles of this house off and on (many more years than NOT) since the mid-1970s (in this house since 1998 and I can see the house I lived in when I was in High School from my current front yard)... and they publish crime statistics every quarter so I know that the personal crime rate is very low.  I just need to do a reality check and get a grip.

Lora