The point of this surgery/process

What an excellent post, Nic. 

Thanks. Again.   :)

  How, though, do you draw the line between reality of increasing amounts to " normal" and "rationalizing"  that it's ok because it is healthy food?

 I can't say what that looks like for you but for me overeating starts BEFORE I ever pick up a fork or a spoon. I have learned to tell right off the bat what head space I'm in going into a meal. Sometimes that helps me prevent overeating and bingeing and sometimes not. But I know damn well when I go into a meal with the intentions of eating healthfully and when I do so with the intentions of going bonkers. 

And if you were to ever hang out with me you see I have a million and two safeguards against going bonkers. I:

-Always put dinner away right after cooking and BEFORE eating. I dole out my plate and the girls plates then I put everything away. Often it's too cumbersome to get all that back out to have more.

-If I cook ahead I pre-portion as much as possible. Whatever is getting frozen, gets frozen.

-I always have lots of "free food" (cucumbers, carrots, etc.) on hand. I eat my meal and still wanna munch, I munch on that (which ****** my addiction off and it goes "never frickin mind!!!")

-I tend to leave after a meal. Like...the house. I go for a walk, run an errand, etc. As I do so I usually pop a stick of gum in my mouth. Gets the chewing urge over and gets the food taste out of my mouth.

This of course makes it hard for me to eat with other people. Everything I do revolves around ending mealtime and doing something else. It's inherent in human nature to linger over a meal and socialize. When I am in a good mental state I can do that. On days when I am bingey, I cannot. And like I said, I'm tot he point where I can feel the difference going in.

Yep ... true that about overeating before I even start the meal.  Last night I scooped out more food then I knew I needed.  "But I was HAWNGRY".  I felt satisfied, but it was soooo good.
Gah

   I am talking to my counselor about the good feelings / comfort / satisfaction I get from good food, and my fear of it "never tasting as good in the future as it does this instant".  Seemed like psychobabble at the time, but I am starting to see the logic in it.


Thanks for the tips

Bravo - wonderful post!

Thank you so much! I always enjoy your posts!

 The bonkers safeguards--very helpful! I'll have to get more energetic, organized, and self-aware to implement them, but it's good to have something to work on.  

I say this with sincere appreciation, thank you. It made me cry.