The point of this surgery/process

Even you new-newbies, no doubt, have more sense in your pinkie finger than I had in my entire being when I first started this process, but I just thought of another thing I wish someone had kept reminding me along the way.

The point of this surgery, of this whole process, is to teach you how to have a healthy approach to food. It is not to sever your relationship with food. Relationships with food are not bad. We use food to celebrate things, to pass on traditions, to show caring and a whole slew of other very innate and human functions that society seems to have demonized with respect to obesity.

Therefore it’s ok if you long for your mother’s apple pie or your aunt’s famous chicken. It’s ok if summertime, to you, means hot dogs on the barbecue. Marking time and traditions with food, in and of itself, is not a bad thing. While you may not be able to eat these things right off the bat, the point of the surgery is NOT to never eat them again.

The point of this surgery is not to eat like a bird for the rest of your lives. Right now many of you can either a) barely get in a few bites at a time or b) are freaking out because you can. But the long-term point of this surgery is NOT to eat like that for the rest of your life. So when you find you are able to eat more, it might be more beneficial, instead of flipping out, to consider what nutrients you were not able to get with your former restriction and start working those in. A normal plate will not hurt you. A normal plate full of crap just might, though.

The point of this surgery is not to be losing weight for the rest of your lives. Most of us know this academically but when it comes to practice it’s hard to stop. Just stop. To borrow a phrase from Weigh****chers, we find it difficult to “stop dieting and start living.Â" There is a rush in seeing the scale go down, a validation. But this process is not meant to sustain that downward trend forever. Someday the scale will stop, so it’s probably a good idea now, if you haven’t done so already, to find something ELSE feel good about yourself.

In my estimation, what your life should look like as a long-term post op should be that you enjoy a variety of foods – and, yes, even some treats now and again. My surgeon told me that long-term the amount I should eat should not raise eyebrows either way to normal society. And it doesn’t. The amount I eat now doesn’t leave anyone saying “that’s all you can eatÂ" nor does it leave anyone saying “you can eat all that???Â" Depending on what I eat there may be food left on my plate and there may not. I’m not a newbie so I don’t expect to have the same restriction as a newbie and I don’t waste a lot of time and energy lamenting about it or wishing that I did. Instead, like I said above, I try to focus on what is on my perfectly normal plate. Is it crap? Or is it good food?

I just wanted to point that out as you walk your journeys. The finish line, with regards to food, is NOT a quarter cup of food for the rest of your existences. For those of you who miss food, take heart. You SHOULD, for all intents and purposes, be able to eat a healthy amount again. Just keep in mind what you were eating pre-op probably wasn’t a healthy portion. Many folks equate healthy portion with what they ate pre-op. Two different concepts.

But I feel that keeping these simple facts in mind really does help your transition as you find you can eat more and you don’t have as much trouble as in the beginning. That is GOOD and the way this process was designed to work.

 I love words of wisdom from you who have been there and live it with success i,m newbee in traning thankyou for sharing! surgery in 6 days something i,ve learned im my 53 years is you can learn somthing every day if you listen and keep a open mind

I still want a "like" button for your posts!

I second that !!!!!!!! 

Thank you so much Nik. You always put things in prospective and have a very calming affect. Thanks again for all your input. I enjoy reading EVERYTHING you write.

Thank you for this post; it was very comforting. I hope to be able to be in a good place with food one day. I am scared of carbs right now (2 wks out) because I don't feel like I can control myself with them. Hopefully one day!

Wonderfully said Nik!! You are our inspiration on so many levels. I love to ready your views.

A reassuring post read at the perfect time for me.  Thank you, Nik.

I am 4 years out.  Along the way I decided taht some food - taht are my triggers - need to be off limit to me. Some foods have tendency to "control me". These I labeled - off limit. Like an alcoholic who knows tha one drink may start a binge, I knwo that I need to stay away from food that are my triggers.

Some carbs - do not start cravings - some do - even a small bite may put me over the edge. In the first 2 years I learned the difference bewteen them. Now - 4 years post op - some food are off limits completely. I know that If I start eating them, yes, even a bite, I may not be able to stop at one bite. So I do not do that.

First year and 2 for some people is the time to learn how you and your body reacts to different foods. And make choices ...

As always, great post.