OT/mini rant - Are you a balcony or basement person??
I haven't read all the replies to your comment yet but I did want to say one thing. I totally agree with you. People can be honest without being rude or making someone feel stupid for asking their question in the first place. There are a couple people on this web site that seem to know quite a bit and give lots of advice. At times though, I find their comments to sound rude and belittling to people, which I find unnecessary. It wouldn't hurt a few of the "vet's" to be a little kinder.............
How do you define "rude"? What you think is rude, 75 other people may say is not. Something you think was just direct but not rude, three other people may say was rude and one person may categorize as a personal attack.
NO ONE gives up their personal free time to come here to be rude to people. If you read something as rude, though, no one can do anything about that. Tone is VERY hard to gauge on boards like this and I would actually say that YOUR comment about how the old timers need to be respectful is rude. I actually don't think it quite reaches rude, but it is certainly not very respectful of YOU.
If you think someone was rude in a replyI would encourage you to contact that person by PM. Chances are, you read something into it that was not intended at all. Or, maybe they DID intend to be rude because they thought YOU were being rude when you did not intend to be. That is much more effective than to just issue a general statement telling "old timers" to "be a little more respectful".
Lora
NO ONE gives up their personal free time to come here to be rude to people. If you read something as rude, though, no one can do anything about that. Tone is VERY hard to gauge on boards like this and I would actually say that YOUR comment about how the old timers need to be respectful is rude. I actually don't think it quite reaches rude, but it is certainly not very respectful of YOU.
If you think someone was rude in a replyI would encourage you to contact that person by PM. Chances are, you read something into it that was not intended at all. Or, maybe they DID intend to be rude because they thought YOU were being rude when you did not intend to be. That is much more effective than to just issue a general statement telling "old timers" to "be a little more respectful".
Lora
14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
Wow - that was a bit of a zinger!!!
I'm with Lora about contacting someone by PM if you have a problem with them, although I know there are "some people" who share those PM's among their supporters so not everyone believes that the Private in PM means anything!!!! Never put anything in there that you are not happy sharing ... If anyone ever wants to PM me, I can say I have NEVER shared a PM with anyone!
Alternatively, you can just call someone out there and then - I wouldn't have a problem with that if you think I am out of line. Not saying I'll agree with you, but I'm more than happy to defend my position or apologise if I am ...
I'm with Lora about contacting someone by PM if you have a problem with them, although I know there are "some people" who share those PM's among their supporters so not everyone believes that the Private in PM means anything!!!! Never put anything in there that you are not happy sharing ... If anyone ever wants to PM me, I can say I have NEVER shared a PM with anyone!
Alternatively, you can just call someone out there and then - I wouldn't have a problem with that if you think I am out of line. Not saying I'll agree with you, but I'm more than happy to defend my position or apologise if I am ...
Proud Feminist, Atheist, LGBT friend, and Democratic Socialist
That's fair enough.
BUT. I would like to point out that sometimes tough love is warranted and that sometimes vets do di**** out. Because honestly. We are the kings and queens of justification. That's how most of us got to where we are right now. Sometimes you need someone to cut through the BS and tell you about yourself. Most times that's not pretty and it doesn't sound very nice but it is exactly what the person needed.
Believe me, I know it can be maddening. Remember: all the vets here were once newbies themselves. When I came to this board newbies got their asses handed to them on a daily basis, several times a day. But you know what? It was out of caring, not malice.
I think you know the difference between those whose intentions are good and those who are not. But really, to be fair, are you ALWAYS the best judge of when you are doing right or wrong? 100% of the time? I'm not. And while I would love it if someone nicely took me by the hand and said "Nikki...there's something I need to talk to you about..." that's simply not everyone's style. For my part, I try to take folks attitudes with a grain of salt, extract what learning I can get from what they said and leave the rest.
Because honestly? I have found in my life you stand to learn a lot more about yourself from your adversaries than you are capable of learning from your friends. At least that's how it is in my life.
Now if someone is being disrespectful to you on a human level? Report their ass and block them!
BUT. I would like to point out that sometimes tough love is warranted and that sometimes vets do di**** out. Because honestly. We are the kings and queens of justification. That's how most of us got to where we are right now. Sometimes you need someone to cut through the BS and tell you about yourself. Most times that's not pretty and it doesn't sound very nice but it is exactly what the person needed.
Believe me, I know it can be maddening. Remember: all the vets here were once newbies themselves. When I came to this board newbies got their asses handed to them on a daily basis, several times a day. But you know what? It was out of caring, not malice.
I think you know the difference between those whose intentions are good and those who are not. But really, to be fair, are you ALWAYS the best judge of when you are doing right or wrong? 100% of the time? I'm not. And while I would love it if someone nicely took me by the hand and said "Nikki...there's something I need to talk to you about..." that's simply not everyone's style. For my part, I try to take folks attitudes with a grain of salt, extract what learning I can get from what they said and leave the rest.
Because honestly? I have found in my life you stand to learn a lot more about yourself from your adversaries than you are capable of learning from your friends. At least that's how it is in my life.
Now if someone is being disrespectful to you on a human level? Report their ass and block them!
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