I need some help

 Hugs Kelly! I agree with everyone you are far from stupid. I would call the office and tell them what happened. Ask for step by step instructions or try a GPS. Also you know the place is huge from your last attempt so give yourself lots of time. If you arrive early maybe they can see you sooner. Good luck I hope your therapist can give you some advice. 

I'm so sorry you are having such pain and trouble.  You are DEFINITELY not stupid as proven by your eloquent writing skills and valuable contributions and help to eveyone on this board.  If I lived closer, I would be happy to see that you got to a new appointment at that clinic!  Be kind to yourself.  You are doing the best that you can at the moment.

I'm glad you are seeing your therapist.  Is there any way you can call him/her sooner than Monday to work through some of your feelings?  If you do decide to take NSAIDS (my surgeon's office says ok to up to 7 days of them IF you are taking something to protect the stomach along with them), please also make sure you talk to your dr before doing so.  She may have an even better idea for you.  Vicodin does absolutely nothing for me except make me feel loopy.  Doesn't touch pain in my body.  Maybe a different pain med would work wonders.

I wish I had a nice, easy fix for you.  I do wish you would reschedule and go back to the Cleveland Clinic.  Then at least you would know for sure whether they can help you.  Whatever you decide, just know we all care and you are not alone...or stupid...or crazy.  You are just having a really difficult time right now.  Hang in there!

I totally understand.  I have been going through similar things with my head and neck pain.  Even the thing about NSAIDs and I was never an NSAID taker to begin with but I am desperate for relief.
All I can think of is either calling an Aging and Disability office near you, if you have one.  We have them here and they are very helpful.  Maybe they know of a volunteer who can go with you.  Or the hospital social worker or even if you are able a local church.  There are people out there who want to help, you just need to be hooked up.  If I were in your shoes, and believe me I'm pretty close, I would even put an ad in my local Craigslist, in the community section under Volunteers asking for help.  If you do that please be careful and do careful screening and ask for references.
I really don't have many people here myself.  I have my kids but they are busy with their own families, my daughter is too young to really  help, my boyfriend works all the time.  I have a neighbor who has gone beyond the call of duty but I don't want to ask too much.
The GPS is a good idea.  If you can buy a second hand one it would really help.  Mine has saved my life.  I used to never want to go anywhere by myself if I had never been there before and now I am more confident about going new places.  Maybe if you can get yourself in the general direction someone from the clinic can meet you someplace and direct you to the office.
I go to my local university for my health care and for a long time I avoided going to the doctors because I was intimidated by it's size but now that I have been going regularly I am a little more comfortable.
I know what you mean about being told you shouldn't be in as much pain as you are.  I hear that all the time.  Maybe I shouldn't be but I am.
Do what ever you need to do to take care of yourself.  I wish I was closer so I could help.

 I am so sorry that you are hurting Kelly.  It sounds like this situation brought up a lot of old feelings about times you asked for help and either was made to believe or came to the conclusion that you aren't worth helping. This is absoultely not true. I don't know why many of us have to fight to be heard in order to get our needs met. You wouldn't put up with someone telling a person you love that they were stupid for missing an appointment, you would stand up for that person. The same applies to yourself. You are an accomplished writer, and your advice is sought often.  You are valued. Don't let these old beliefs that were never true play around in your head.

Physicians are notorious for dismissing sufferers of chronic back pain. When I worked in a neurology unit we saw many patients in constant pain who had tried every treatment and surgery and therapy with little or transitory relief. Few doctors have the knowledge back pain sufferers need. eta: This sounds pretty dreary! Many of those patients did find relief, just not always with their first or even second physician.

That's why I recommend either going to a pain management clinic, if you haven't already tried at least one, and/or cowgirling up and returning triumphantly to the Cleveland Clinic--which I picture as a vast, dark, Tolkeinesque labyrinth.

The suggestion posted earlier for finding a helper are very good. (Although I don't think I personally would use Craigslist.) When you're in unremitting pain,it's hard to think laterally, or at all. Yes, there are people who would love to help you get to the CC. It will make them feel better--maybe even change their lives. Generosity and volunteering are a win-win!

I feel such affection for you. I, too, am without people who could help me in a similar situation and rely on the kindness of strangers. It feels awkward, but it has worked in the past.

I say get back on the horse ___with a trusty scout___and complete your pilgrimage to Cleveland.

I don't know if this will help you at all but just something that helps me. I have to take Neurontin 300 mg 2 times daily. It not only is for my diabetic neuropathy (so it does help with pain control and is not a controlled substance med), it also is a benefit for my mood because I have PTSD and Major Depressive disorder. I sure have grown quickly to respect you and I value your input. Hope you get some relief very, very soon!

Thanks for mentioning it.  I will ask about it when I see someone about my pain.

I'm so sorry you went through this.  I have the WORST anxiety when I'm late for an appt or get lost.  I can only imagine how stressful that must have been for you especially being in pain, alone and after a 3 hour drive.  I'm not sure the answer, but I think your reasoning may be right about the NSAIDs, but you DEFINITELY deserve to get your back pain fixed or at least controlled.  No one can handle being in pain like that 24 hours a day.  That is enough to make anyone feel depressed and anxious.  Please don't give up.  You are NOT stupid.  That is evident by reading your posts.  Please don't give up on getting this back pain looked at!

Kelly, you are an amazing and very smart woman. I have not had my surgery yet but I can tell you what I do for back pain. I take "Midol" or a generic equiv. but I don't know if it has NSAIDS in it along with 800 mg of Tylenol. I also have my friend roll one of those pool noodles up and down my spine while I lay on my stomach on the bed when it gets really bad. I don't know if you have thought about it, but a Chiropractor has what they call "water bed's" where you lie on a table and water pulses to hit the painful areas to release tension. Sounds like you also have tons of tension pain. When I can't get into my ortho, I make an appointmen with a physical therapist or a chiropractor.

Now for the appointment I don't know if you belong to a church but they are options. Check to see if one of the people there will drive you and keep you company. But do make an appointment because you CAN and you WILL succeed when you make the appointment.

Chin up and know that you are a wonderful smart lady who is loved greatly by all of your OH followers.

Midol is an NSAID, yes,  Which I may try.  I have been to a chiropractor.  It actually made things worse for me.  Physical therapy did not help, either.  I tried that.

I don't belong to a church.  I really cannot think of a single person that I could ask to take me. 

I think I am going try try making an appointment somewhere else that is closer to home and easier to get to.