well, that did not go well

I feel like such an idiot.

My appointment at the Cleveland Clinic was at 12:40 and Mapquest said it took and hour and 34 minutes to get there.  So I left at 10:40.  I thought two hours should give me plenty of time.

So I get up there and everything is so confusing.  I was on the right street and there were all these medical office-type buildings that I think were all part of the Cleveland Clinic, but none of the buildings had a street number anywhere I could see.  My appointment was at the Center for Spine Health but none of the bulidings said anything about Spine Health on them, either.  There were signs that said Cleveland Clinic and some of the buildings had names, like Such-and-such Pavillion, but none of that meant anything to me.

There was no where to park.  There must be parking lots or garages around there, but not on the street I was on.  I went past one parking garage before I got to the street it was supposed to be on, but it was a one-way street so I couldn't go back there.  There was no place to stop to ask for directions, like a gas station or anything like that. 

I drove up and down the street a couple times, getting more and more anxious.  By then it was five minutes past my apartment time.  I ended up having a big anxiety attack.  And then I found my way back to the highway and drove home.

I feel like an idiot because who makes an appointment like this and then can't find the place?  Why didn't I leave my house earlier and then I might have had time to figure it out?  And who panics when they can't find a doctor's office?

My partner called me from work on his break and says oh, don't worry about it, just call and make another appointment and ask them for better directions.  No way am I trying to go back there.  It's too difficult for me.  I'm sure most people could figure it out but I can't.

I am just really, really frustrated with myself.

just let it all out.  It'll be ok.  I get super anxious when I don't know where I'm going.  I've been known to go there a day early so I know where I'm going. 

It'll be ok.  :)

Oh no Kelly! That sounds horrible. I'm sorry your day has played out this way. Are you being treated for anxiety?

Yes, I am.  I came home and took Visteril.  And Vicodin, because being in the car for more than three hours straight made my back hurt.

 No need to be frustrated with yourself, or at least not for long.

That's happened to me more than once. It makes me very anxious to 1) not know where I'm going, 2) have to drive in an unfamiliar city while trying to figure out where to go, and 3) be late for or miss appointments. I think a bout of frustration and and meltdown is appropriate.

What's wrong with them that they don't have street numbers or other wayfinding tips visible from the street? Do they assume everybody was born knowing? Are they so teddibly, teddibly Big and Important that it's up to the little people on the Outside to find them somehow?

It's not your fault. You allowed extra time, you can read signs, you're intelligent. They failed.

Been there done that with a new eye doctor. I finally pulled over in a parking lot and called the place I had an appointment at. Now of course I was sobbing trying to get directions it was horrible. I was almost too embarrased to go but since I had called I felt I had to. I was a mess by the time I got there. When I don't know where I am going I tend to get real anxious also. Medical buildings are the worst as far as addressing them so you know what to look for. It will be ok take some deep breathes and relax.

That's how I would have been.  If I had tried to call to get directions, they probably wouldn't have been able to understand me, I was crying so hard.  And I would have been embarrassed to go in after that.  It takes me a while to calm down, too, so I would have still been all anxious and keyed up.

Why on earth wouldn't they have those buildings clearly marked?

I am so sorry Kelly, I know that must have been horrible. I also sometimes will drive to a new MD's office on a day before my appointment because I get so stressed out. I have been known to give myself a whole hour before I have to get there and the take a book or some magazines and sit in my car!! Maybe you can find someone to go with you? Maybe not to your actual appointment, but the could drive and get you there and find something to do until you get out. I hope you are okay - it happens to a lot of people.

This is why I hate driving in the city!  It is so confusing and all the one way streets drive me nuts.  Just call the office and tell them you couldn't find the place or parking.  No big deal.  Google maps has a satellite feature where you can zoom in on the address you want and get an actual picture of what the building looks like.  This helps a lot.

Yeah.  And I'm not used to driving in the city these days.  I live in a small town.  I used to live in a city, I lived downtown, but that was eight years ago.  One way streets are so confusing, and there are so many lanes of traffic that it's hard to get over when you need to turn.  And this is  a city I've never been to.

A picture of the buidling would probably have helped a lot.   I'll try that.  Thanks.