I have been drinking some Haterade

So up to now most of you have heard me talk about accepting yourself, not making comparisons and all that good stuff. 

Well I have a jealousy issue going on and I need to come clean about it.

I have a friend who had Lap-Band. She has lost a LOT of weight (far more than me). Simply put, her lifestyle is such that she’s able to spend hours a day at the gym (she is married with no kids and her hubby I think works in the evenings so she goes to the gym all evening). I sort of also envy the fact that when she feels she can eat too much she just goes in for a bit of a fill and it’s all taken care of (don’t get me wrong, I do not regret getting RNY. That was the right choice for me but sometimes I wish I could get that “old" old feeling back).

So yesterday she posts a picture of herself looking absolutely gorgeous in her sports gear: a workout bra thing with yoga pants and flat, toned, bare midriff. 

I turned the loveliest shade of green.

So yes. I get jealous sometimes too. But here’s how I handle it. Firstly, I don’t know if my body will ever give up this bounce-back weight without a fight. Up until now I’ve hesitated to engage in that fight. I eat healthfully 98% of the time. I eat a balanced diet. Losing a great amount of weight or inches would require a lot more restriction in what I eat and frankly I didn’t know if I wanted to go there. My mind is FINALLY in a decent place with food (most of the time I only eat when I am hungry and stop eating when I am no longer hungry and CHOOSE to eat foods that are good for me).

But seeing my friend made me realize the one thing I really, really, REALLY enjoyed about my post-op honeymoon. Even though in an insane way I had a love/hate relationship with my body (I loved the weight loss, hated the fact that it didn’t make me FEEL skinny), the love part was…wow. I took pictures and thought I looked sexy in them. I enjoyed going clothing shopping. Hell, I wore a damn halter dress in public!!! 

I was proud of my muscle tone and proud of the shape I was developing. I want that back. For me. NOT because I saw her looking good. Her looking good simply reminded me of when I was all bragadocious like that and I want to BE like that again. (Yes, there was a time when my ego was even bigger than it is now)

So…I’ve already been working to make changes. I’ve been tracking my intake (and reducing it where necessary). I’ve set out fitness goals for myself. And I am thinking of enrolling in the Y Fitness Challenge (sort of the Y’s answer to The Biggest Loser). I can’t wait to move so I can go to the gym more often and there is a lake where I can run in peace (read: without dirty old men heckling me). So I think I am going to take this on. One step at a time of course.  

But sometimes a healthy dose of envy can inspire good things in us. I aim to make that the case here.

(And btw even though she’ll never read this congrats to my BEAUTIFUL banded sister on her phenomenal success. She really is an inspiration.)

I told myself in the beginning of this to be the best me I can be. Sure I'd love to have a flat tummy but my journey is about health.
It's okay to turn green as long as you're still breathing. We find motivation in the darndiest places...
hahaha....
I look at peoples before and afters and hope and pray I get there some day.
You should enroll in the challenge you might have a blast and be someone elses inspiration.
Make time for you... YOU are worth it!

 I love how you think!

ha ha , you know how many times when I had the band that I was secretly jealous of bypassers???
I am so happy for your friends success and I hope and pray that the band continues to work for her for her long lifetime. Unfortunately the stats are showing that it will not , so very sad.
There is a bandster in my support group that looked FAB almost anorectic , but who of us wouldn't take that ??? I was SHOCKED when I found out she had the band !!! and so was my daughter ( so it just wasn't me)
You are you and she is she
I pray we all , regardless of the surgeries we have had , or re-had, are successful and HEALTHY

I know you believe me when I say...

you can do
ANYTHING!

I totally know for fact that you've got this in you if you really want it.  Can't wait to watch/hear about your progress, miss Nik!


tori

"You should enroll in the challenge you might have a blast and be someone elses inspiration."

 

I absolutely love what this previous poster said.  So true.  You don't know how many people are inspired  by (and maybe even a little jealous of) YOU, Nik! 

At least you recognize it for what it is and don't sabatoge her or yourself.  You're taking this emotion and making a positive out of it.  Wishing you the best!

I just love the posts by Cleopatra_Nik 

You know what you need to do? Get all decked out and have one of the divas take some pics. YOU LOOK HOT, TOO! ...and don't forget to post a pic here so we can see!

I'm thinking it will be an instant ego booster without all that hard work - heh heh...

Kinda funny how someone elses success can make us feel a little less than stellar. I have always been a bit jealous of you Ms. Nik. Your motivation, go getting attitude and drive have always left me with that "how does she do it" feeling. Use the jealousy as motivation. Make a few small changes that you can live with and that super self esteem will be through the roof before you know it. You have had a time of it lately and that can take a toll on anyone. Just know that you inspire and so many of us look up to you.  Don't sell yourself short!!

Just reading your posts inspire me, thank you!