Gotta get something off my chest

I am often told that I am too blunt on here - part of that is cultural (I am English) and the bigger part is that I am a tell it like it is person.

I've NEVER called anyone a name on here (but have been called plenty!) and I am considered in my replies.   I don't ever intend to hurt someone and absolutely intend to always be truthful.   This is not always welcomed and that really is water off a duck's back to me too - I don't get my validation by being popular on here!

I know I'm an intelligent, worldly, opinionated, loving, loyal, supportive, HOT, nearly 50 year old woman (who still wears a bikini!) and nothing anyone can say is going to convince me otherwise

  to this post, Nik!

I agree.  I am sometimes surprised at how completely lacking in a sense of personal empowerment and responsibility many of my clients are, and how difficult it  an sometimes be for the, to develop that.  My Marine father was BIG on empowerment and responsibility... 

Having said that, however, and knowing that there are a number of women on this board who have been victims (in a true sense) of sexual violence, I feel obligated to point out -- lest anyone feel invalidated -- that trauma is a different creature and not the type of "victim" that you are addressing (I assume!) in your post.  Even victims of abuse and assault need to move beyond that label and identity, of course, but there is a certain time of healing where accepting that temporary identity is necessary.

Lora

Thank you for saying that. You are absolutely right. I am not talking about victims of sexual violence or any other kind of violence. Those who have experienced that...you did not ask for anything to happen to you. You did not invite or encourage any kind of violence or abuse.

A counselor I once worked with said something similar once (probably more than once, but once to me).

She said, "If someone says something about you that is inaccurate, correct them. If they say something untrue, let them know. If they continue to say it because they don't care, stay away from them. However, if it's accurate and true and you just don't like it, that's YOUR problem and not theirs."

Loved that gal!

I am fairly new to OH and read and lurk around the boards almost every day. I VERY MUCH enjoy the contributions of members on these boards. Nik, I have found your posts and replies to be caring, sincere and, at times, very thought provoking. You can't please all the people, all the time so please don't stop being you!!

Btw, I recently discovered that you are the Bariatric Foodie to boot! I want to be you!