Ok, so I think it's time for a mental reality check here

The magic window. The losing phase. Whatever you want to call it.

It holds tremendous opportunities. You lose weight faster in your first 18 mos. of surgery than in the whole rest of your journey. And that’s inspiring. But as a four year post op I have a piece of advice.

As much as you are worrying about the scale and calories and protein and exercise and water intake and vitamins…worry about what’s going on inside your head.

Yes, yes, I know what you are going to say. You are doing that! And I’m sure you are in some way. But I would argue that it should probably be a little bit MORE important to you than even the number on the scale. Why?

Look at posts here on this board. I have seen several over the past few days of folks who are a year, two years, four years out. They have found themselves on the upswing. They have returned to bad habits. They are wondering how to get back on track. All of this is normal and I am so glad this board exists for us to support one another through that struggle.

But I would also empower us to try to do a little bit of pre-emptive work.

Yes, yes, I know you are DOING that already! But is it on par with your efforts with regards to eating and exercise? I wholeheartedly believe there are three arms to this process: there is the physical arm (moving your body more, vitamins), the nutrition angle (eating better…and also vitamins, water, etc.) and the emotional aspect of it. Obesity is not only a physical state but a mental one too. It leaves scars. I would venture to guess someday there might be such a diagnosis as “Obesity related post-traumatic stress disorder."

Those scars don’t go away when you lose the weight. Your old habits and coping mechanisms don’t automatically resolve themselves just because you are unable to practice them (that is, your inclination to soothe, celebrate and commiserate with food doesn’t necessarily go away just because you can’t eat as much).  

I understand the euphoria we all feel when we find our efforts FINALLY working. I understand the sheer joy of losing the weight, doing things you never thought possible, fitting into clothes you never thought you’d wear.

I also understand that the mind has an amazing ability to transform anything. It can transform one addiction to another. It can transform one type of bad habit into another type of bad habit. It can transform what is a good reality (a smaller body) into a bad mental image (what you actually see in the mirror).

So mind your brains friends. Just as much as you are minding your eating plans and minding your exercise regimens. Go to support group. Find a counselor. Talk to your pastor. Start a journal. WHATEVER.

Trust me when I say years from now you will thank yourself.

you are SO right.

I'm working on that now, and know I need to do more. The support group I attend is all about the 'head work' side of it all. I've also delved deeper into my faith and spirituality to make this whole body change.

it's not easy. just the other day i found myself opening the fridge after a fight with DH. i had to remind myself that there was NOTHING in there that would fix my problem at hand. But I am terrified that one day I won't be able to close that fridge door again.

It's a work in progress.

Wendy,

I used to think all that mental questioning was a bunch of hokey but you know what? It works! 

You don't have to commit to closing the fridge, though. You just have to commit to questioning why you opened it in the first place. Get good at doing that and the rest sort of falls into place.

But I cannot tell you how many times I have damned this place, my support group AND my therapist for teaching me to do that. Eating my feelings is the easier way. Questioning them takes effort. 

I go to 2 support groups and I have a journal. It really does help a lot.

 Good post !  Also, just wanted to let you know that I love reading your posts and barbaric foodie.  I have a few people on here that I ALWAYS read and you are definetly one of them.   Happy, Healthy eating to you and yours !!!

Well, I know my cooking methods can sometimes seem crazy, but I would hardly call them barbaric!!! (Kidding...auto-correct?)

I enjoy writing Bariatric Foodie and the Miranda blog (which I am also behind on). It's my way of staying engaged.

 Sorry about barbaric!!!!!   :)  Can 't believe I didn't catch that one !!  Especially since I work in the English department !!!

Very good advise and Thank you...I am only 6 days out, but I don't want to be one that comes back in 3 years back to my old habits, so it has to start now for me

 Great post, a priceless message for people at my stage (and everyone else too)! Thanks Nik

Every single client that I have ever worked with who has had issues with losing and then regaining weight (whether by WLS, WW, Jenny Craig, whatever) has -- eventually -- admitted that they really did NOT address the psychological/emotional origins of at least some of the overeating.  Yet if I had a dollar for every WLS person here or IRL who has said something along the lines of "I thought surgery would solve my weight issues" or "after surgery, I really thought I had those behaviors beat", I could take a nice vacation!

I understand that I have an advantage with my professional training, but I still have not yet been ale to understand why people expect that, if they ate for comfort before surgery, the urge to eat for comfort would not eventually reappear after surgery.  Are there surgeons out there telling people that RNY will solve their weight issues permanently...?!?!?

Addressing the demons, even in counseling, can be a long, hard road... and sometimes is a daily struggle even for those of us who know exactly what is going on... but it is the ONLY road that leads to long-term success.

Lora