OT - my back - and emotional distress

 I do realize anyone can become addicted to narcotics, but I appreciate you pointing that out.  I would absolutely rather find the cause of the pain and fix it than become addicted to pain meds.  Even if there was no risk of addiction, I would rather find the cause and fix it than just mask it with meds.

At the same time, however, what I want most is to be able to do the things I need to do in my life.  I want to be able to go grocery shopping and do my laundry and pick up something if I drop it on the floor.  If it takes heavy duty pain meds for me to be able to do those things, then I want the meds.  Although if I am too doped up on pain meds I supposed I would not be able to drive myself to the grocery store anyway.

I want to find the cause of the pain and fix it, but if they cannot do that, or until they do that, I want some pain relief.

I don't mean to disagree, but in all of my research, one of the overwhelming distinctions I see is that TOLERANCE and DEPENDENCE and ADDICTION are quite distinct issues. Tolerance is a physiological adjustment to a particular medicine, making that medicine less effective. I used to take a whole medley of meds to help me sleep. I would switch it up often because while Melatonin helped me to sleep for a month or so and was my favorite, I'd become tolerant and it wouldn't work. I wouldn't then up my dose, I'd switch to something else so that I could get my sleep, and I would also know that in a month or two the melatonin would work again. Now I'm using another medicine (for the neuropathy) that incidentally takes care of my insomnia.

I do use opiates now. Oxycontin and Hydrocodone (Norco). I have issues with tolerance (as well as a few additional pain issues that the pain meds just weren't designed to deal with). The opiates are fine for my background pain issue, but not with the recent pain issues I have dealt with. I recognize that because of Tolerance I'm not getting the full benefit. My PCP upped the Norco from 5 mg to 7.5 mg, but I realized pretty darn quick that this didn't change anything. So now, instead of wanting MORE, I have plans to visit with him and see if there's another direction we can go. Whether it is through a dermal patch (as absorption issues might be hindering me), or upping my background frequency or dosage (mind you, I'm on the minimum oxycontin dosage) and dropping my breakthrough pain dosage back to 5 mg (again, the minimum). I will bend over backwards to avoid anything even remotely close to "drug seeking" behaviors. I have a pain contract with my PCP, and wouldn't break it, even if I was in extreme agony. If I'm going to have any alterations to my prescribed meds, I'll only see my PCP. With my recent issues with my neck, I had a discussion about my pain management with my spine specialist, but I prefaced the conversation with "I won't accept any prescriptions for pain medicine from you."

I do believe that it is not a pathway that anyone should take lightly, nor without specific checks on improper behavior. I'm GLAD I have a pain contract. I won't break it, and if I am ever tempted TO break it, then I'll know that something deeper has taken place that is beyond simple tolerance or absorption issues.

Oh, and while I know my meds aren't doing the trick right now, I'm so anxious to get my PCP to change it that I still haven't gotten around to make the appointment (I still have this unrealistic SHAME that I need to talk to him about it. Right now the shame overrides the pain, so I just deal with living in pain) -- but tomorrow, or the next day... or next week, I'll get around to calling my PCP to make that appointment.

I said before CCF is the place to go to. Ranked best in the state. In the meantime have you tried anything old fashioned like back plasters or sitting in a warm tub? Do you have access to a jacuzzi? Those helped me tremendously.
Today my sleep doctor told me my sleep apnea symptoms are out of proportion to the degree of apnea I have. Then he asked if I was depressed. Yep. I suspect that if you are like me it has something to do with it. One feeds off of the other.

A  heating pad helps a lot, while I am sitting on it.  The relief does not last more than a few minutes after I get up, though.  I do not have access to a jacuzzi, I wish I did.  Hot baths help some, although I have trouble getting out of the tub these days due to the pain.

I am depressed, have dealt with major depression for many years.  And I am aware that could be making the back pain worse.  But I think even someone without a history of major depression would be likely to be depressed after having daily back pain for more than one year.  Anyone that woke up multiple times a night due to pain for months on end would be depressed, wouldn't they? 

Kelly - I'm sorry for problems you're having and the lack of empathy or help from your doc.  I think a second opinion is definitely in order!

I have three bulging discs in my lower back as well as occasional bouts of severe sciatica. I had hoped losing weight would help, but for some reason, it's actually worse.  I am taking Tramadol 75 mg twice a day.   I also take a Percocet at bedtime to help me sleep through the night (which I still rarely do).   I know my pain is legit - the doc knows my pain is legit - the MRI's prove it,.   I don't think I'm overmedicated by any means; I'm able to function at a full time job and run the house, etc.  Quite honestly, I could probably up the pain meds since I still feel pain in my back if I stand, walk, sit too long.  

I have to ask - it' s hard to describe,  but sometimes when I ask for prescription refills, I almost feel like I have to prove my case all over again....does anyone else ever feel that way?

I think there has been so much bad press about doctors over prescribing pain meds that now it is almost impossible for patients that actually have true pain issues to get the medication that they need from the doctors.  It really is an irritating situation when I read stories like this.  I myself have made many a trip to the ER for migraine attacks and NSAIDS were the only thing offered to me.  Of course after RNY I couldn't take them and when I brought this to the doctors attention they told me it was either that or nothing.  I couldn't believe they would risk another medical issue because they thought I was faking an attack.  I would just leave in horrible pain crying because I couldn't get any relief. 

I do hope you can get some relief soon and maybe the Cleveland Clinic will have some better solutions for you.

Christy