"Bigger than my smallest, still smaller than my biggest"

I've had regain. I've not been secretive about it. It's hard for me to put perspective on the whole thing but this week as I was looking for pics for the funeral I came across a lot of photos of the "old me." I did not scan any of them but I thought I'd post a comparison. Because regain scares us all. It scares me too. Some days I wonder if I am on a conveyor belt back to obesity but I honestly don't think I am. I have healthier eating habits, love to work out, etc. I don't know if I was just "meant" to be the size I am or if getting to my lowest will be a journey I take on someday but I still have not done too bad for myself. Check it:

Me at my absolute highes (about 330 lbs.)t:



My second t Easter after surgery (about 172, my low weight):



Me this Easter (depending on the time of day between 195-200):



As you can see the boobs made a comeback along with a good deal of my hips and thighs. I am actually not minding my shape now. I wish I could afford to get the batwings hacked but it is what it is.

Anyway, just reflecting. Thanks for giving me the space.

 You are a BEAUTIFUL person inside and outside!  I don't think you realize how many ppl's lives you touch daily... We have missed you and been worried about you w/ the passing of your mother.. Welcome Back and please remember that WE LOVE YOU and NEED YOU!  HAPPY EASTER TO YOU AND THE DIVA'S :-)

 You look great even in your regain. If your gonna put on weight the boobs and hips are a great place for it to go.

You look beautiful! I want legs like yours!

thank you for this Nik...you ARE a beautiful person!!!

I think you look lovely. I hope you're having a meaningful Easter.

Wow Nik I think you look great. I mean if your gonna have regain the boobs and hips just make you curvy. It makes you look beautifully feminine

 Yep! I'd take it in the boobs anyday!!! (mine have shrunk to nuttin'!) I am going to have batwings at least 2 x the size of yours....sheesh....wouldn't it be nice to move around the skin? lol Anyway, thanks for your honesty ! I hope to be so brave if/when it happens to me. 

okay,now how do I go about getting my boobs back?????  I got way too skinny and had to gain some weight back but of course it goes where we dont want it, in my belly.  So, with the incision from bowel obstruction, I know have my zipper with my 4 boobs - bottoms ones are as big as the top ones but my weight is still at goal and I cant afford to lose any weight.  It is depressing. I have all this flab in my belly but I get told that I cant lose weight.  I actually have to eat a ton just not to lose weight.

I've been meaning to do this myself.  I need to see, with photographic evidence, how far I've come.  I'm so desperately wanting to get these 10-15 lbs off to get back to my "lowest point", but my body really doesn't want to let them go.  I had a coworker who hadn't seen me in a while call me skinny the other day and she said I look healthy now, whereas a couple years ago, she thought I looked sick and too thin. 

Anyway, you look absolutely fabulous!  Curvy and beautiful.  Does seeing the pictures side by side help any?  I really think I need to do this...