OT - A very encouraging day
Warning: this is a long one and should probably just go on my OH blog but I started it intending it to be short and it sort of just grew.
Today was my oldest daughter's 13th birthday. And I was very, very worried.
On the day I was supposed to bake her cupcakes to share with her class, my mother passed away. The next day I barely had the wherewithall to get out of bed, much less shop for any presents. Saturday I spent a good portion of the morning at the funeral home and the afternoon pouring my heart out to two very professional salespeople at an upscale clothing store who helped me buy an outfit that I felt was fit to bury my mother in.
So...needless to say I wasn't exactly feeling festive.
BUT I was determined that if I had to safety pin my mouth into a smile I was going to celebrate this child. I did NOT want this simply to be the birthday when Nana died. I tried to be realistic though. I wasn't aiming for "the most awesome birthday ever" but I did want to make it special.
And it's funny to me how these things work out. I am Christian so I say that it is God working in my life. Whatever you believe in, you can insert it (fate, karma, etc.). Last night I was just too tired to go shopping for presents. I had bought one present but I wanted to get a few more. So this morning after retrieving said present from my office where I'd stored it, the younger child and I went shopping for more presents and actually had a really nice time doing so.
We have a tradition in my household of "birthday donuts" (I do not partake) so we did that but early that morning I got an idea. Actually it wasn't my idea but my mother's. On the year that I turned 15 we were dead broke and so she got me one big present and a bunch of smaller ones and she made a scavenger hunt of sorts. She started me off with a clue that led to my first present and then that present held a clue and so on...
So I set out to replicate this which, thankfully, only necessitated the additional expense of some index cards. :)
The highlight of babygirl's day was going to Dave & Buster's with her friend Alyssa. But yesterday I happened to be speaking with (get ready for this because it is an eyeful) "my baby daddy's other baby mama's (BDOBM) mama," Ms. Jean. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this but my BDOBM and I are very close. We sort of have to be. She has the two boys and I have the two girls and but for our closeness our kids would never know they are siblings. ANYWAY BDOBM's mom had the kids for the weekend and offered to come along to Dave & Busters as well. I said sure. When I showed up to D&B I had no idea but she made an instant party! She invited some other friends of family and we all had a really good time just joking and playing games and eating.
Afterward, we headed over to the girls paternal grandma's house (baby daddy's mom). I've been worried about her. She and my mom were best friends (yes, I have the weirdest family ever: I am best friends with the woman who was with my kids father after me and my ex's mom and my mom were best friends. Got all that? Good.) Anyway, I wanted her to feel connected so we did cake and ice cream over there. My stepdad (the other one I am worried about. He doesn't know what to do with himself now that he doesn't have my mom to take care of) even came! He played with the little ones, ate cake and even seemed to have a few moments of mental peace.
It was a good day. Tomorrow will be tough. We are still scrambling with some of the arrangements but today I learned a REALLY important lesson: don't sweat the small stuff. I was all worried about this child's birthday being ruined but it all came together and it was very nice.
Today was my oldest daughter's 13th birthday. And I was very, very worried.
On the day I was supposed to bake her cupcakes to share with her class, my mother passed away. The next day I barely had the wherewithall to get out of bed, much less shop for any presents. Saturday I spent a good portion of the morning at the funeral home and the afternoon pouring my heart out to two very professional salespeople at an upscale clothing store who helped me buy an outfit that I felt was fit to bury my mother in.
So...needless to say I wasn't exactly feeling festive.
BUT I was determined that if I had to safety pin my mouth into a smile I was going to celebrate this child. I did NOT want this simply to be the birthday when Nana died. I tried to be realistic though. I wasn't aiming for "the most awesome birthday ever" but I did want to make it special.
And it's funny to me how these things work out. I am Christian so I say that it is God working in my life. Whatever you believe in, you can insert it (fate, karma, etc.). Last night I was just too tired to go shopping for presents. I had bought one present but I wanted to get a few more. So this morning after retrieving said present from my office where I'd stored it, the younger child and I went shopping for more presents and actually had a really nice time doing so.
We have a tradition in my household of "birthday donuts" (I do not partake) so we did that but early that morning I got an idea. Actually it wasn't my idea but my mother's. On the year that I turned 15 we were dead broke and so she got me one big present and a bunch of smaller ones and she made a scavenger hunt of sorts. She started me off with a clue that led to my first present and then that present held a clue and so on...
So I set out to replicate this which, thankfully, only necessitated the additional expense of some index cards. :)
The highlight of babygirl's day was going to Dave & Buster's with her friend Alyssa. But yesterday I happened to be speaking with (get ready for this because it is an eyeful) "my baby daddy's other baby mama's (BDOBM) mama," Ms. Jean. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this but my BDOBM and I are very close. We sort of have to be. She has the two boys and I have the two girls and but for our closeness our kids would never know they are siblings. ANYWAY BDOBM's mom had the kids for the weekend and offered to come along to Dave & Busters as well. I said sure. When I showed up to D&B I had no idea but she made an instant party! She invited some other friends of family and we all had a really good time just joking and playing games and eating.
Afterward, we headed over to the girls paternal grandma's house (baby daddy's mom). I've been worried about her. She and my mom were best friends (yes, I have the weirdest family ever: I am best friends with the woman who was with my kids father after me and my ex's mom and my mom were best friends. Got all that? Good.) Anyway, I wanted her to feel connected so we did cake and ice cream over there. My stepdad (the other one I am worried about. He doesn't know what to do with himself now that he doesn't have my mom to take care of) even came! He played with the little ones, ate cake and even seemed to have a few moments of mental peace.
It was a good day. Tomorrow will be tough. We are still scrambling with some of the arrangements but today I learned a REALLY important lesson: don't sweat the small stuff. I was all worried about this child's birthday being ruined but it all came together and it was very nice.
RNY Gastric Bypass 1-8-08 350/327/200 (HW/SW/CW). I spend most of my time playing with my food over at Bariatric Foodie - check me out!
Nikki, I am so sorry about your mom... I can only imagine what you're going through.
That being said, I second the notion that you are the most awesome mother ever. Your girls are so lucky to have you... so glad you were able to make your baby's day special for her, as it should be.
My thoughts are with you and your family...
tori
That being said, I second the notion that you are the most awesome mother ever. Your girls are so lucky to have you... so glad you were able to make your baby's day special for her, as it should be.
My thoughts are with you and your family...
tori
(deactivated member)
on 4/1/12 2:37 pm - AZ
on 4/1/12 2:37 pm - AZ
Hi,
Glad you had a good day despite your despair. I have the same relationship with my...what did you call it...BDOBM. I am really close with her and my entire ex's family. So much that my mother in law was a paralegal and totally did my divorce for free. Then lived with her for 2 years to get back on my feet why my ex troliped and had another kid. it is now about 14 years later and his newer wife is one of my closes friends as long with his mother and cousins and aunts, go figure....
Glad you had a good day despite your despair. I have the same relationship with my...what did you call it...BDOBM. I am really close with her and my entire ex's family. So much that my mother in law was a paralegal and totally did my divorce for free. Then lived with her for 2 years to get back on my feet why my ex troliped and had another kid. it is now about 14 years later and his newer wife is one of my closes friends as long with his mother and cousins and aunts, go figure....
I have been thinking of you and your family since I heard. It sounds like " your family" is the perfect family for you. They all came together in your time of need and I am thankful you and your lil Diva got to feel the love. Hugs
Michelle
Did the happy dance onto the Loser's Bench March 18, 2013!
Visit my blog at http://skinnyundermyfat.blogspot.com/
(HUGS) I didn't know about your mom... more (((HUGS))) one day at a time...
Easter will be tough...
Easter will be tough...
Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG
"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"
"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."
Most Active
Recent Topics
