stigma around WLS

Glad you realized something important!

You did what worked for you.  That's the whole point - why would you have surgery to make it more difficult for you to lose weight?  It's not a bad thing or a shameful thing at all to have surgery to make it easier to deal with a health issue.  If you needed a hip replacement to make it easier to walk, that wouldn't be embarrassing, would it?

 the only person i got a negative reaction from was my ex, which i was expecting because i knew his feelings on it way back when we were dating. it bothers me that he knows how much i was working out and dieting and still gaining, yet still kept telling me to eat less and exercise more. he still doesn't believe that i've hit certain milestones (the dreaded scale number, and having normal body fat %, he actually told me i was wrong with the latter. i'm pretty sure the sexy personal trainer that measured it knows better than he does). luckily i rarely hear from him, but it still bothers me that he's so against it, and unfortunately i know that there is no changing his mind.

If I had to do it over again, I think I would have chosen a different pathway. I think it would have been long-term BETTER. In some ways I wish I would have done it. However my fiscal reasons might still have made the decision to share into a very expensive one, so I don't regret my choice to keep it to myself, but I do wish that I didn't have so many fiscal pressures to influence my deciision at the time.

I agree with a lot of what you said. I was preparing to have surgery in 2007, just prior to the economic bottoming out of the entire universe. Our plan at that point in time was to live in a different state by this year. If the housing market had continued as it was trending at the time I chose to have WLS, we would have been able to sell our house for three or four times what we paid for it, move to a new place with land, hubby would be retired (he's 56 with a lot of health issues) and being in a new place, I had every plan to be 100% open and honest that I was once morbidly obese, but am now not.

Of course, rather than our house being worth 3 or 4 times what we paid for it, currently we owe more than TWICE its appraised value. In effect our mortgage, and the state of unemployment in this country (though hubby and I are both certified math teachers, and there is STILL a shortage of certified math teachers).... has made slaves of us. We're shackled to this house and to this job. Because of this of course my projected ability to speak openly about WLS is now shifted into the not-forseeable future. The recent lawsuit won against Bank Of America might give us relief from the mortgage over and above the assessed value of our house (they might have to literally eliminate half of our mortgage amount as part of the lawsuit, sincce we've been paying faithfully, even though our mortgage is insane). But right now we're stuck here. Having chosen to keep it to myself, I won't back down on it.

But I agree with your thoughts. I think it's essential that people understand that WLS is a treatment for a disease. As my spine doctor said yesterday, with my current issues with my spine, there are two courses of treatment. We'll go with the physical therapy, but that might not work. Is it taking the "easy way out" to go on to ablation of the nerves? No.... it's a course of treatment for a disease where other courses of treatment have been unsuccessful. The hoops we have to jump through are designed to show that WE HAVE tried all other routes towards losing weight. There ARE no OTHER ways out... so we take the ONLY way out, not the easy way out.

In my case it is in my best interest to keep my wls to myself.  Only one or two people know and my grown daughters know.  Judging by my daughter's reaction when they knew I was having the surgery, it was all the more reason to keep it private.  I am watched very closely at work.  Even before I had surgery and I was very over weight, people always are watching what I wear, what I say, how I carry myself, etc.  I dress very nicely at work and they are always jus****ching.  Since I have lost the weight, people have literally cornered me wanting to know what I'm doing.  I don't feel that I'm being dishonest to say that I am working with a dietitian very closely and exercising.  That is not a lie.  They don't need to know that I had wls.  In my case it would be way too stressful at work to disclose this. The positive that has come out of people watching my weight loss is that it has inspired others at work to start losing weight just by watching my success.  Jealousy also comes into play.  I work in a department with 95% women and we can be pretty catty about things sometimes.  Anyways, I feel that I'm doing better stress wise by just keeping it to myself.  I've heard comments from others at work about wls and it's not positive.

I think we should be honest about having weight loss surgery because when we hide it .if seems as if we are ashame of our decision. We can never change people mind weather it was the easy way or not but we can educate a few people which can educatd others I chose to tell iam nof ashame of my decision.befors I had weight loss surgery I thaught the weight just comes off with hardly any effort was I wrong I have to exercise .i was so wrong in thinking so I think we should tell its nothing to be ashamef of its a tool to help us obesity is a disease and not a lazy thing.

Well I haven't told anyone except 3 cousins who have also had the RNY. My husband is very supportive and understands how judgemental and catty my family can be. Instead of supporting each other with positive affirmations, their usual is to just tear them down... so living 600 miles away from the family can be a blessing in this journey of mine... in the insurance process now and hoping to have my surgery in Sept.....

Kelly, 
I agree with you.  I'm just a month out and I tell everybody.   I've never felt better.  I lost 83 lbs pre-op and 27 post.  I feel it's best to be honest and upfront.  If I tell the truth to everyone I don't have to worry about who I told or whether they talk to peolple I might have evaded when asked.  In some way I feel some obligation to be open about what it's meant to me and it may help others.  I always recommend this site for those who have a lot of questions about themselves or their aquaintances.  I think if I help just one person improve the quality of or length of his life being open and truthful is worth it.