stigma around WLS
I've been thinking about this for a while. And now I'm gonna ramble.
First let me say that I think each person has the right to tell who they want about their WLS and to keep that information private if they want. It's your medical information, it's yours to do what you want with it. And if you feel that telling people will create stress or problems for you, you have every right to take care of yourself.
That said, I think there are some good reasons to talk about our WLS. One of those reasons is to reduce the stigma that surrounds WLS presently. Here's what I am thinking.
First, people seem to have ideas about the kind of people that have WLS. You know, they think it's lazy people or people that just want an easy way out. But most people don't think I"m lazy and they know I've struggled with my weight and telling them that I had WLS makes them reconsider that idea they had about the kind of person that has WLS.
Second, people do sometimes think it's an easy way out, and I personally don't think there's anything wrong with doing things the easy way, but surgery isn't that easy and people can see that when they see me measuring my food and taking my vitamins and all that stuff.
Third, some people have the idea that WLS doesn't work or that people all gain all their weight back. Hopefully I can show them that some people do succeed with WLS and that the surgery does have a lot of benefits, at least for some patients.
Fourth, a lot of people seem to think that all it takes to lose weight is to eat less and that it should be easy. They think diets work (I don't know why they think that because there is so much evidence that they usually don't, but anyway...). If someone asks how I'm losing weight and I say "Oh, I'm eating less and exercising more," that's true but it's not the whole truth, and it gives the idea that yeah, diets work, it's working for me. I don't want to give people that idea.
Fifth, it might make the idea of WLS seems more accessible to other people that need it.
And finally, I think when we hide something or keep it secret, that suggests to other people that we are ashamed about it and that it is something to be ashamed of. I don't want people to think that being morbidly obese or needing WLS is something shameful. Perhaps more importantly, when we act as if we're ashamed of something, I think sometimes we begin to be ashamed of it. I don't want to be ashamed of having surgery.
Again, this doesn't mean that everyone should tell everybody. It is a personal decision and while telling people about our surgery might help educate them, it's not exactly our job to educate them about WLS. But I think it can be a helpful thing to do, when we feel able and willing to do it.
First let me say that I think each person has the right to tell who they want about their WLS and to keep that information private if they want. It's your medical information, it's yours to do what you want with it. And if you feel that telling people will create stress or problems for you, you have every right to take care of yourself.
That said, I think there are some good reasons to talk about our WLS. One of those reasons is to reduce the stigma that surrounds WLS presently. Here's what I am thinking.
First, people seem to have ideas about the kind of people that have WLS. You know, they think it's lazy people or people that just want an easy way out. But most people don't think I"m lazy and they know I've struggled with my weight and telling them that I had WLS makes them reconsider that idea they had about the kind of person that has WLS.
Second, people do sometimes think it's an easy way out, and I personally don't think there's anything wrong with doing things the easy way, but surgery isn't that easy and people can see that when they see me measuring my food and taking my vitamins and all that stuff.
Third, some people have the idea that WLS doesn't work or that people all gain all their weight back. Hopefully I can show them that some people do succeed with WLS and that the surgery does have a lot of benefits, at least for some patients.
Fourth, a lot of people seem to think that all it takes to lose weight is to eat less and that it should be easy. They think diets work (I don't know why they think that because there is so much evidence that they usually don't, but anyway...). If someone asks how I'm losing weight and I say "Oh, I'm eating less and exercising more," that's true but it's not the whole truth, and it gives the idea that yeah, diets work, it's working for me. I don't want to give people that idea.
Fifth, it might make the idea of WLS seems more accessible to other people that need it.
And finally, I think when we hide something or keep it secret, that suggests to other people that we are ashamed about it and that it is something to be ashamed of. I don't want people to think that being morbidly obese or needing WLS is something shameful. Perhaps more importantly, when we act as if we're ashamed of something, I think sometimes we begin to be ashamed of it. I don't want to be ashamed of having surgery.
Again, this doesn't mean that everyone should tell everybody. It is a personal decision and while telling people about our surgery might help educate them, it's not exactly our job to educate them about WLS. But I think it can be a helpful thing to do, when we feel able and willing to do it.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
I agree 100%. I think to get rid of the stigma we need to speak up.
I have been pretty open about the surgery. I was type II diabetic and it was either this or insulin. So people were pretty understanding that I was on my last option.
But I did delay telling my mother prior to surgery because I knew she would not be supportive. Her doctor suggested to her that she get it and she said that would never happen. She told me that she told some ladies at her church (I left recently during a church split) that I was having "elective surgery." I said, "Elective? Well, I guess you can consider it elective since I "elected" not to die from diabetes." I think that was when her opinion changed. She is now saying she thinks my brother should have it as well.
My brother that weighs 400 lbs. that can hardly walk, takes 2 types of insulin, has gotten blood clots in the lungs twice from being immobile and needs a hip replacement. When he found out I was having surgery he said he was to afraid to have it done. I told him I was too afraid to die from diabetes. I believe he is considering it after he gets off blood thinners and has a hip replacement.
I have never been told that I took the easy way out. But I knew if I was ever told that I was going to say, ask me kids, my husband who watched me go through this if they think it was easy for me and for them. They will tell you that it isn't easy.
I have been pretty open about the surgery. I was type II diabetic and it was either this or insulin. So people were pretty understanding that I was on my last option.
But I did delay telling my mother prior to surgery because I knew she would not be supportive. Her doctor suggested to her that she get it and she said that would never happen. She told me that she told some ladies at her church (I left recently during a church split) that I was having "elective surgery." I said, "Elective? Well, I guess you can consider it elective since I "elected" not to die from diabetes." I think that was when her opinion changed. She is now saying she thinks my brother should have it as well.
My brother that weighs 400 lbs. that can hardly walk, takes 2 types of insulin, has gotten blood clots in the lungs twice from being immobile and needs a hip replacement. When he found out I was having surgery he said he was to afraid to have it done. I told him I was too afraid to die from diabetes. I believe he is considering it after he gets off blood thinners and has a hip replacement.
I have never been told that I took the easy way out. But I knew if I was ever told that I was going to say, ask me kids, my husband who watched me go through this if they think it was easy for me and for them. They will tell you that it isn't easy.
Winnie
No one told me it was the easy way out, either. But apparently that is something people sometimes say.
It always surprises me when people call it an elective surgery. I don't see how it's any more elective than most other types of surgery (not counting cosmetic stuff). It's medically necessary. It's the best treatment available for a serious medical problem. Yeah, we could decline to have the surgery. One could decline to have a heart bypass surgery or a diseased gall bladder removed or whatever, too. But that would seem rather unwise.
It always surprises me when people call it an elective surgery. I don't see how it's any more elective than most other types of surgery (not counting cosmetic stuff). It's medically necessary. It's the best treatment available for a serious medical problem. Yeah, we could decline to have the surgery. One could decline to have a heart bypass surgery or a diseased gall bladder removed or whatever, too. But that would seem rather unwise.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
I actually found that being open about it makes it a non-issue.If it is not a secret there is nothing to talk about. It amazed me that people at work didn't know. I told my staff when I started the process since I would be taking off for appts. I assumed it would just get around the office but it never did. 6 months later I told my boss and other directors. Still, no one else on our floor knew. I was pretty surprised.
I told a few ladies at my new church and assumed it would spread like wild fire but it didn't. I bet only 10% of the people know and I think I told every one except my daughter told her friend's mom.
Winnie
I definitely think being open about it makes a difference. I have found, not just with regard to WLS but with other things in my life as well, that how I present something makes a big difference. I think that if I say "Hey, um, I want to tell you something and I know you might not agree with it but it's my choice and I really think it's the best choice for me, so I hope you'll support me even if you don't agree with it," and then tell someone I am having WLS, I think they will respond differently than if I say, "Hey, in a couple weeks I'll be having gastric bypass surgery. Just wanted to let you know." I think they are less likely to make an issue of it if I don't make an issue of it.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
I am having an issue with one daughter. She is actually my clone in terms of thought, emotions, humor, but not weight thank the LORD. I have had her read many articles, posts, even the Dr. OZ segment on RNY and I don't htink I have convinced her that RNY is not the easy way out. Nor, have I convinced her that once you reach a certain weight after 40 yrs of yo yo dieting your body does not respond any more.
I am not trying to convince her anymore, I will let the results tell the story. I have, however, chosen not to tell anyone but my work partner and my boss. Once I return to work, I will be honest. I agree that this should be promoted.
I am not trying to convince her anymore, I will let the results tell the story. I have, however, chosen not to tell anyone but my work partner and my boss. Once I return to work, I will be honest. I agree that this should be promoted.
I don't think we can convince everyone, and I don't think we have to. Sometimes they will learn by watching how things turn out for us. And some probably never will change their minds, and that's OK. But more people will begin to get a better understanding of it all if it's talked about more.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
When I first had surgery I was all "onward Christian soldiers!" about it (anyone ever see "Androcles and the Lion?"). Nowadays I am cognizant of the fact that there are some very good and valid reasons a person might want to keep their decision private (calling it secret has negative connotations that I don't think always apply).
I am open about my process and I am GLAD that in many circles it's just become a part of everyday life. I don't go on and on about my surgery, I don't ask for special accommodations, I don't behave any differently than anybody else I know really. I like to exercise and so I do. I like to eat and so I do. I would HOPE that as a result of the way I've lived to this point folks realize that having WLS doesn't make me that different from anybody else.
Also, I have regained a significant amount. I didn't even mind being open about that. It happens. Obesity is a lifelong battle and it may take some of us engaging more than one tool to fight it. I'm not ashamed of being human. I embrace it.
But in the same token, I've met people who, after telling me their situation, I agree that privacy is the best policy. And I respect that and don't necessarily think they are doing the WLS community a detriment by keeping their decisions private. In a way, I think it's almost a thing where perception persists despite reality. No matter how many of us share our experiences honestly there will ALWAYS be that "friend of a friend' who "gained it all back."
I think that has more to do with a stigma about obesity and not viewing it as a disease or epidemic, than it does about a WLS stigma.
I am open about my process and I am GLAD that in many circles it's just become a part of everyday life. I don't go on and on about my surgery, I don't ask for special accommodations, I don't behave any differently than anybody else I know really. I like to exercise and so I do. I like to eat and so I do. I would HOPE that as a result of the way I've lived to this point folks realize that having WLS doesn't make me that different from anybody else.
Also, I have regained a significant amount. I didn't even mind being open about that. It happens. Obesity is a lifelong battle and it may take some of us engaging more than one tool to fight it. I'm not ashamed of being human. I embrace it.
But in the same token, I've met people who, after telling me their situation, I agree that privacy is the best policy. And I respect that and don't necessarily think they are doing the WLS community a detriment by keeping their decisions private. In a way, I think it's almost a thing where perception persists despite reality. No matter how many of us share our experiences honestly there will ALWAYS be that "friend of a friend' who "gained it all back."
I think that has more to do with a stigma about obesity and not viewing it as a disease or epidemic, than it does about a WLS stigma.
RNY Gastric Bypass 1-8-08 350/327/200 (HW/SW/CW). I spend most of my time playing with my food over at Bariatric Foodie - check me out!
I agree that private might be a better word than secret. and I agree that there are some very good reasons why some people choose to keep it private. I don't mean to imply that if they do, they are doing the WLS community a detriment. But at the same time, I think they might be doing something beneficial for the WLS community, or other obese people, if they speak out about their surgery. Provided, of course, they are able to do so and feel safe about it.
I'm sure there will always be that friend of a friend that gained it all back, but I also think that if more people speak up about their experiences, there will also be a friend that didn't gain it all back.
And I also think it does have a lot to do with a stigma about obesity... but even among many obese people, WLS is viewed as a negative thing.
I'm sure there will always be that friend of a friend that gained it all back, but I also think that if more people speak up about their experiences, there will also be a friend that didn't gain it all back.
And I also think it does have a lot to do with a stigma about obesity... but even among many obese people, WLS is viewed as a negative thing.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
It is funny but I feel a bit - I don't know if the word is ashamed - but maybe embarrassed about having the surgery. I tell people but I always find myself saying it with a bit of self disappointment in my voice - like "Oh you look like you've lost so much weight; how did you do it?" I say with a bit of a pause "I had weight loss surgery". They say "Oh, well good for you for taking that step". Now one caveat is that I work in a hospital so folks are generally much more empathetic (I think). But I do wonder why I feel like it is the 'lesser' way to lose weight or that I shouldn't be as proud of my accomplishment.
Holy cow I just realised why...it has been so much easier to do this than all my previous dieting. I mean the surgery was a PITA but I feel I have so much more control over myself now. It has been making the sensible eating thing managable. Maybe that's why - maybe I feel like I've taken it the easy way because it is easier for me now. I don't think I should be embarassed about that - I guess I should realize that I did what I needed to do to get control. Interesting - thanks for asking the question - it helped me with a realization.
Holy cow I just realised why...it has been so much easier to do this than all my previous dieting. I mean the surgery was a PITA but I feel I have so much more control over myself now. It has been making the sensible eating thing managable. Maybe that's why - maybe I feel like I've taken it the easy way because it is easier for me now. I don't think I should be embarassed about that - I guess I should realize that I did what I needed to do to get control. Interesting - thanks for asking the question - it helped me with a realization.
HW 357 SW 341
Most Active
Recent Topics