stereotypes
I've heard a lot of negative stereotypes about overweight people lately. And about other groups of people, and stereotypes always, always bother me. It's insulting when people make assumptions about me based on my weight, or other aspects of my appearance, or based on the fact that I have a disability, or the fact that I'm a woman, or any other thing about me that does not define who I am.
Those assumptions are usually not accurate, and even if they are, they assume something about me is related to something that has nothing to do with anything. For instance, I have major depression. I had it when I was overweight. however, I was not depressed about my weight. It was insulting when people assumed that's why I was depressed because it was ignoring a number of very important things that happened in my life that affected me deeply. It also suggested that all I had to do to fix my depression was eat less, which was not true, and that was insulting because it suggested I could get over my depression if only I wasn't too lazy to lose weight.
One of the dangerous things about stereotypes is how we often don't even recognize them when we see them, or how we begin to believe they are actually true. That's why we see overweight people saying stereotypical, hurtful things about fat people, or see women saying stereotypical, hurtful things about women. Just recently I've heard people that deal with weight issues make comments like fat people have nasty personalities, obese women have very low self esteem, fat people don't have much confidence, and fat women let people push them around.
Now, you might be overweight and have poor self esteem. That might very well be your experience. If it is, I'm guessing your weight is not the only reason you have poor self esteem, but it might well be a factor. But just because it's your experience, that does not mean it is the experience of all overweight people, or even most overweight people. Please don't confuse your personal experience with that of all overweight people. It's not accurate, it's not helpful, it's hurtful, it's insenstive and it's insulting.
Those assumptions are usually not accurate, and even if they are, they assume something about me is related to something that has nothing to do with anything. For instance, I have major depression. I had it when I was overweight. however, I was not depressed about my weight. It was insulting when people assumed that's why I was depressed because it was ignoring a number of very important things that happened in my life that affected me deeply. It also suggested that all I had to do to fix my depression was eat less, which was not true, and that was insulting because it suggested I could get over my depression if only I wasn't too lazy to lose weight.
One of the dangerous things about stereotypes is how we often don't even recognize them when we see them, or how we begin to believe they are actually true. That's why we see overweight people saying stereotypical, hurtful things about fat people, or see women saying stereotypical, hurtful things about women. Just recently I've heard people that deal with weight issues make comments like fat people have nasty personalities, obese women have very low self esteem, fat people don't have much confidence, and fat women let people push them around.
Now, you might be overweight and have poor self esteem. That might very well be your experience. If it is, I'm guessing your weight is not the only reason you have poor self esteem, but it might well be a factor. But just because it's your experience, that does not mean it is the experience of all overweight people, or even most overweight people. Please don't confuse your personal experience with that of all overweight people. It's not accurate, it's not helpful, it's hurtful, it's insenstive and it's insulting.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
Kelly, You have done it again. I have been plus sized my entire life, and at my heaviest I was a socialite moving through a crowd. I dressed well and I loved food life and my self. If at any point I had low self esteem it was do to outside forces. My weight did not become an issue until I had health problems. Many of my friends describe me as funny and bubbly to this day. Lately I have been worried that when I hit goal other plus women will not like me but other than that. I am pretty satisfied with the person I am and yes on occasion I have had a PMS moment . What woman does not. I love every word you put into your post you are very correct and on point as usual. A heavy person is still a person just as complicated as a thin person. If you have problems it may well for you be because of your weight but don't judge for everyone else. I have PTSD from the way I grew up and bouts of depression my self. I was an orphan passed around from home to home. I was abused and as a kid I saw some of my friends lose their life to violence. Where I grew up it was quite normal to get a report that someone was dead. Let's just say I got good at burying that crap and as I hit my late teens I began to have ptsd. Guess what I was heavy the entire time and don't think it was highest priority on my list. Basic survival was. Just to add something that may or may not be relevant it ****** me off when I tell people stories of how I grew up. I get two reactions one is I am a pathological liar. The other is pity and one thing I can not stand is for people to feel sorry for me when I know some have endured way worse or are not living any more.
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