choices
You might have noticed that the idea of "choice" is a big thing with me. I think it's important for so many reasons.
When I say that you don't have to get on the scale at your doctor's office, it's not because I think you shouldn't get on the scale. It's because I think it's your choice, and it's important to know it's your choice so that you can freely make the choice you feel is best for you.
When someone says "My doctor doesn't allow patient eat fruit for six months" and I say "Your doctor can't stop you from eating fruit. He might recommend you not eat it, but it's your choice" it's not because I think you should eat fruit. It's because I think it's your choice, and it's important to know it's your choice so that you can freely make the choice you feel is best for you.
Why is that important? Well, one reason is because I have noticed people tend to feel better in generally when they feel they have choices. People tend to not like feeling trapped or feeling like someone else is in control of their lives.
But beyond that, when we realize we have choices, we can take responsibility for ourselves. There are many things in life we don't have control over. I don't have control over whether or not I have a thyroid problem or other medical problem that causes weight gain. I do have control over whether or not I take medication for that medical problem. I don't have control over whether or not that medication works well for me, though. But I do have control over whether or not I get weighed. And I do have control over what I do regarding the weight gain. I can choose to have WLS. I can choose to go on a diet and I can choose what diet to go on. I can choose to accept myself at whatever weight I am and not do anything to try to lose weight.
Knowing what I do and do not have control over, and then making the best choices for myself, is what will give me the best quality of life. If I feel I have no control and no choices, when I really do, chances are I won't just happen to make the best choices. Making the best choices entails recognizing when I am making a choice and thinking about it and researching my options and all that stuff.
And the choice that is best for me might not be best for someone else. But it starts with recognizing that we have choices.
When I say that you don't have to get on the scale at your doctor's office, it's not because I think you shouldn't get on the scale. It's because I think it's your choice, and it's important to know it's your choice so that you can freely make the choice you feel is best for you.
When someone says "My doctor doesn't allow patient eat fruit for six months" and I say "Your doctor can't stop you from eating fruit. He might recommend you not eat it, but it's your choice" it's not because I think you should eat fruit. It's because I think it's your choice, and it's important to know it's your choice so that you can freely make the choice you feel is best for you.
Why is that important? Well, one reason is because I have noticed people tend to feel better in generally when they feel they have choices. People tend to not like feeling trapped or feeling like someone else is in control of their lives.
But beyond that, when we realize we have choices, we can take responsibility for ourselves. There are many things in life we don't have control over. I don't have control over whether or not I have a thyroid problem or other medical problem that causes weight gain. I do have control over whether or not I take medication for that medical problem. I don't have control over whether or not that medication works well for me, though. But I do have control over whether or not I get weighed. And I do have control over what I do regarding the weight gain. I can choose to have WLS. I can choose to go on a diet and I can choose what diet to go on. I can choose to accept myself at whatever weight I am and not do anything to try to lose weight.
Knowing what I do and do not have control over, and then making the best choices for myself, is what will give me the best quality of life. If I feel I have no control and no choices, when I really do, chances are I won't just happen to make the best choices. Making the best choices entails recognizing when I am making a choice and thinking about it and researching my options and all that stuff.
And the choice that is best for me might not be best for someone else. But it starts with recognizing that we have choices.
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
RNY on 02/17/12
I appreciate you so much, Kelly!
However, I am the one weird person who gets freaked out by having choices. I don't do well with making the better choice. So the story I tell myself is that I don't have the choice. I can't NOT exercise. I don't have that choice. I can't simply CHOOSE not to eat 2,000 calories a day (in my head). My NUT told me not to do that and thus I have no choice.
It's weird but choices go both ways. They can either empower or restrict. For me, some choices do empower, but in many other instances they render me defenseless against my demons.
But for the record I don't ever take it as you telling people to do one thing or another. I always got that you wanted people to know they weren't without options.
However, I am the one weird person who gets freaked out by having choices. I don't do well with making the better choice. So the story I tell myself is that I don't have the choice. I can't NOT exercise. I don't have that choice. I can't simply CHOOSE not to eat 2,000 calories a day (in my head). My NUT told me not to do that and thus I have no choice.
It's weird but choices go both ways. They can either empower or restrict. For me, some choices do empower, but in many other instances they render me defenseless against my demons.
But for the record I don't ever take it as you telling people to do one thing or another. I always got that you wanted people to know they weren't without options.
So you are choosing to look at it in the way that works best for you. You are choosing to limit your choices in order to get the results you want. Which is perfectly fine.
This may come as a surprise to people on this forum, what with all my going on about choices all the time, but sometimes I don't like choices. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by choices. I have this stupid black and white kind of thinking sometimes and life has so many gray areas. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all the gray and can't make a choice, or I agonize excessively about a choice I need to make. And sometimes these are not big important choices, either. It might be a little choice like should I wash the dishes or go grocery shopping, because I don't have the time or energy to do both. Sometimes I spend so much time trying to decide that by the time I reach a decision, I have run out of time to do either. Or I get so anxious and stressed trying to make a decision that I am just a nervous wreck. (Yes, I am in therapy.)
I consider myself lucky because I have a partner that understands that about me and when I don't want to make a choice, I can just ask him to tell me what to do. I can choose to ask him to tell me what to do. But it's still my way of choosing what works best for me.
This may come as a surprise to people on this forum, what with all my going on about choices all the time, but sometimes I don't like choices. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by choices. I have this stupid black and white kind of thinking sometimes and life has so many gray areas. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all the gray and can't make a choice, or I agonize excessively about a choice I need to make. And sometimes these are not big important choices, either. It might be a little choice like should I wash the dishes or go grocery shopping, because I don't have the time or energy to do both. Sometimes I spend so much time trying to decide that by the time I reach a decision, I have run out of time to do either. Or I get so anxious and stressed trying to make a decision that I am just a nervous wreck. (Yes, I am in therapy.)
I consider myself lucky because I have a partner that understands that about me and when I don't want to make a choice, I can just ask him to tell me what to do. I can choose to ask him to tell me what to do. But it's still my way of choosing what works best for me.
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.