She wants to be the world's heaviest woman

Kelly, I reallly find your arguments very fair. My thoughts follow on both this dialogue you are having, as well as on the original post..

I, too, find her situation very sad. I didn't read the text, I only looked at the photographs... in one of them you can see her "obese feet" and for some reason that struck a chord in me.. perhaps because today I had a full-body massage, and I was thinking a lot about my feet while the masseuse was working on my feet. I really LIKE my thin feet, for some reason the slenderness of my feet and hands seems more pleasing to me than almost any other body part I have.... and I see how engorged her feet (and legs) are and like you I can only think about how much pain she likely is in. Frankly, I was in a boatload of pain as an obese person, but I honestly came upon the pain slowly in a way, so I never really noticed it until the pain was GONE.... her bones and joints likely ACHE, and no matter what, she's using up her life on the super-fast track.

There are many parents who raise their children in ways that I would consider wrong or harmful. I don't agree with the way a LOT of my students' parents raise them, but nobody elected me the guardian of effective parenting. I messed up in my own ways on my stepkids, everyone has theeir strengths and their weaknesses. I don't think that aspiring to be the fattest woman or person in the world is the healthiest upbringing, but I can think of a lot of far more abusive methods of parenting, and if her only failing is a desire for something she likes about her own appearance even if most people wouldn't share that opinion, then that really is a very small failing. How many women have died getting plastic  surgery (or Weight Loss Surgery) trying to change their appearance and/or weight, and left their children without a mother? Is one more virtuous than the other? Ultimately, as individuals, we all have things we like and dislike, habits, and hobbies.... not everything that I like, or do, would be universallly applauded by everyone. But as individuals we can only do what we can in this life. This woman, I find sad, very sad. But if her only sin is an obsession with physical appearance.... well... most women are... her is just more peculiar than most.

Having the disease of obesity is never "ok".  Just like having cancer is never "ok".  

It wasn't ok that I neglected my health when I was severely depressed.  It set me back really far, and it didn't just hurt me, it hurt my son.  The weight gain wasn't done on purpose, though.  It was a side affect of several afflictions.  PTSD, depression, anxiety, underactive thyroid.  None of which this woman has, as she's said so herself, she's "healthy".  She wants the results that any good mother wouldn't want for their child.  She wants to disable her children's mother.  She wants to surround her organs with fat, to increase her risk of cancer, diabetes, hypertension, stroke, heart attack, etc. 

I'm still depressed, but I'm not neglecting my health.  Doing so would mean neglecting my child's needs.  He needs a mother.  I have to take care of his mother, which just happens to be me.  

To answer your question - I don't think anyone on here who was morbidly obese for a long time before they "decided" to try to be healthy hasn't regretted not doing something sooner.  There are years you won't get back with your children.  I also believe that most of the people on here did try to lose the weight, several times, before choosing  WLS. 

My harsh judgment of her isn't because she's morbidly obese.  It's because she wants it that way.  As I said before, if she weren't a mother, then "to each, his own" would certainly apply.  But she chose to bring two children into the world. 

So would she be a good mom if she wanted to weigh 150 pounds?  What about if she wanted to weigh 200 pounds?  Would she be a bad mom then?  At what weight does one become a bad mom if they want to weigh that much?

She becomes a "bad mother" when she decides not to consider the implications of what she's doing and how her "goal" is going to affect her children.  It's not about the numbers, it's about what surely lies ahead for her and her kids if she continues to work toward this "goal". 

Jen, 

I'm sorry for the loss of your mother in such a tragic way.  I agree with you though.  She is purposefully self destructing.  Its one thing for her to do this alone but she should think of her kids.  If this guy leaves her who is left to take care of her? She won't be mobile long at that weight.  It only takes one slip and fall to make her bed bound. 

@ Jen

 I agree with you Kelly, that mothers have every right to self determine how much to eat, go on a diet, or have WLS, but in my case, and in my personal feelings about myself and my daughter, 

Yes, I look back and feel that I was a "selfish cow" (I'm using your words, not trying to sound harsh :)

I did a LOT of things with my daughter, but we talk about how, during hikes on the Appalachian Trail, I would have to stop every 10 steps just to catch my breath, and how worried she was that I was going to have a heart attack. At my highest weight, I was knocked off my feet at the Jersey shore by a wave, and because I was in such poor physical shape, I couldn't get back to my feet, and my 16 year old daughter fought to get me to safety. She was sooo horrified for me, and spent the next 10 minutes screaming at the lifeguards as I lay on the shore gasping for breath.

 I feel she did not get the best of me because I allowed myself to get so overweight that my energy levels were always down, and physically I was.....well, the above explains it.  When our actions impact the loved ones in our lives....it's something we could at least take into consideration,IMHO. 

As a mother, I do think I owed it to the person I chose to bring into this world, to take better care of myself, as how I "was", which was really in my control (or lack of)  did have an effect on her life as well.  That's just for me of course.  I have no right, nor would I ever, expect anyone else to feel the same way.  

 Yes very sad and as a mother it pushes some hard buttons.

There are a whole group of people who do this...they are called feeders and eaters. The feeder wants to get his partner as big as he can. There are stories where if the woman doesn't get big enough.. the man/feeder moves on to the next woman. It's some real sick room stuff I think

But the kids..that breaks my heart.

Makes me wonder if he's so supportive for her to gain weight, if he's prepared just as equally to lose a woman he loves to her MO. Really quite sad.

They both need help
....maybe she has a good life insurance policy!