Sarah on "the Real Skinny"... That was ME
This might sound silly. I hope it won't, though, because you guys are the only people who might understand. I am sitting here watching "The Real Skinny" on TLC... in tears... and it just started! Sarah's abdomen looks a lot like mine did before my plastic surgery (although my mons was much larger and I had the huge open RNY incision). I had a panni removal, mons lift, and tummy tuck (3 separate surgeries) rather than a lower body lift (too much money) so I know her body will look better at the end of the show than mine does.
Just seeing her body reminded me of the way I looked. How I felt about my body is one of the few things I never talked about in therapy because I felt like I was overreacting (and because my therapist was a very petite size 2). Seeing the beginning of this show brought back a flood of emotion. My panni and mons hung down so low that I had to keep wearing tunic length shirts and baggy pants. In regular pants, I looked like I had a "package" that any man would envy. I hated my body even more than when I was 330+ pounds. I had worked so hard and gone to such an extreme to lose the weight and I still looked terrible. When I had the panni removed, it actually got worse because he wouldn't do the mons at the same time, so then I had a flat lower belly but this huge mons still hanging down. I cried every single morning when I had to get dressed and figure out how to hide it. Shape wear is designed to flatten, not lift up, so that didn't help much. I was depressed. There were days when I actually felt suicidal because I felt like a freak and was too embarrassed to talk to anyone about it. (Even here people don't talk about the mons much.) Once I had the mons lift done (and my arms at the same time), the depression lifted and although my lower belly LOOKED like someone who has plastic surgery, at least I didn't feel like a freak anymore. Once I had the tummy tuck a number of months later, I finally felt normal again. Having so much extra skin was SO emotional, though.just remembering it tonight has been emotional.
Lora
Just seeing her body reminded me of the way I looked. How I felt about my body is one of the few things I never talked about in therapy because I felt like I was overreacting (and because my therapist was a very petite size 2). Seeing the beginning of this show brought back a flood of emotion. My panni and mons hung down so low that I had to keep wearing tunic length shirts and baggy pants. In regular pants, I looked like I had a "package" that any man would envy. I hated my body even more than when I was 330+ pounds. I had worked so hard and gone to such an extreme to lose the weight and I still looked terrible. When I had the panni removed, it actually got worse because he wouldn't do the mons at the same time, so then I had a flat lower belly but this huge mons still hanging down. I cried every single morning when I had to get dressed and figure out how to hide it. Shape wear is designed to flatten, not lift up, so that didn't help much. I was depressed. There were days when I actually felt suicidal because I felt like a freak and was too embarrassed to talk to anyone about it. (Even here people don't talk about the mons much.) Once I had the mons lift done (and my arms at the same time), the depression lifted and although my lower belly LOOKED like someone who has plastic surgery, at least I didn't feel like a freak anymore. Once I had the tummy tuck a number of months later, I finally felt normal again. Having so much extra skin was SO emotional, though.just remembering it tonight has been emotional.
Lora
14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
I just wanted to say I totaly understand what your saying. I am pre-op at 450 lbs. I have been wondering what things are going to look like.
I didn't know what you ment by "mons" at first ,although I quickly figured it out. 
I have a HUGE "apron" that I can't wait to lose . but i am afraid of what will that extra skin is going to be like. Is it going to smell worse than it does now?. Is my insurance going to cover any fo the removal? My breasts already hang to my waist so i imagine that will be 10x's worse. ,
THANK YOU , these are the post I look for .Ones that tell the details I am afraid to ask about.
I didn't know what you ment by "mons" at first ,although I quickly figured it out. I have a HUGE "apron" that I can't wait to lose . but i am afraid of what will that extra skin is going to be like. Is it going to smell worse than it does now?. Is my insurance going to cover any fo the removal? My breasts already hang to my waist so i imagine that will be 10x's worse. , THANK YOU , these are the post I look for .Ones that tell the details I am afraid to ask about.
I personally did not have any issue with smell either before or after the plastic surgery, but I kept the area dry with and somewhat rash-free with a combination od baby powder and prescription Nystatin powder. Most insurance companies (but not all) will cover a panniculectomy if you can show medical documentation of a history of issues with rashes that don't subside with prescription powders/creams (my insurance required 6 months of trouble with rashes and at least two non-surgical treatments that were unsuccessful) and if the panni hangs down to a certain extent (usually it has to hang below the pubic bone).
Yeah, my boobs hang to my waist, too... and my chest is flat as a pancake down to the bottom of my ribs... All the breast tissue is between the ribs and my waist!
Lora
Yeah, my boobs hang to my waist, too... and my chest is flat as a pancake down to the bottom of my ribs... All the breast tissue is between the ribs and my waist!
Lora
14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
I don't think it is silly at all.
Considering the lengths that we take to improve our lives, health and appearance - then to have something still "keeping you back".... I think that could be very devastating.
I have started a seperate savings account for PS, because my arms already have started some depression and I am only 7mths out.
Considering the lengths that we take to improve our lives, health and appearance - then to have something still "keeping you back".... I think that could be very devastating.
I have started a seperate savings account for PS, because my arms already have started some depression and I am only 7mths out.
I taped the show and am watching it now - I agree, it is very sad. I feel for her and it actually made me think of today when I went shopping with a friend for jeans today and I almost came home crying. I tried on 15 pairs and got nothing. Last year I was so skinny so none of the jeans I wore from then fit, so I need to get some more. I ran into one lady at the clearance rask and I was so frustrated because I was looking for a size 14 and they had all 12's and 14's - the lady said to me, you can't be a 14, I am - you look like you should be an 8. I didnt know if I should be happy or cry. I was an 8 last year when I was a skeleten. Now that I am normal plus all my loose skin - thankfully it isn't like the womans on the show but it definitely affects me getting clothes - I am atleast 2 sizes bigger because of my abdominal skin and with my large incision - I call my abdomen my 4 boobs.
Unfortunatley I will never be ableto afford Plastic surgery, so maybe someday if I ever get my incisional hernia fixed, they will take some of the skin off.
Unfortunatley I will never be ableto afford Plastic surgery, so maybe someday if I ever get my incisional hernia fixed, they will take some of the skin off.
Surprisingly, I only went down one size (and less than 10 pounds) after getting rid of the akin on my belly. It is my waist that keeps me from being able to wear pants a size smaller than I do now. I have two little bulges of residual fat on each side of me at the waist. I did not have the PS do any
Liposuction with any of my procedures other than right at the elbow on one of my arms, so whatever fat was left is still there.
Lora
Liposuction with any of my procedures other than right at the elbow on one of my arms, so whatever fat was left is still there.
Lora
14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
Oh Lora, I'm sorry... I can imagine how emotional it was. When I firs****ched the preview for the show I got emotional and I haven't even HAD plastics... it was just so easy to understand where she was coming from. I believe that I'm fortunate that I don't have as much excess skin as that, but I DO have an ample amount on my tummy and especially my thighs. While the extent of the reconstruction needed might be less in my case, I do feel I need it and don't have any realistic expectation of when or even IF I'll ever be able to address it. It is in a way a feeling of being imprisoned in a different way than I was previously.
I suppose the good news in this is that for you, you DID have those procedures and while you relived the sadness of your pre-plastics depressiont tonight, it's behind you... and what a relief that must be to you. The good news for me is that I know I am not alone in how I feel... and there is great comfort in knowing that others can understand how we all feel. And not to be forgotten, the bottom line is that while my skin is a burden, it is still light years better than being covered in the fat suit that insulated me from life for so many years.
Cheers, my friend.
tori
I suppose the good news in this is that for you, you DID have those procedures and while you relived the sadness of your pre-plastics depressiont tonight, it's behind you... and what a relief that must be to you. The good news for me is that I know I am not alone in how I feel... and there is great comfort in knowing that others can understand how we all feel. And not to be forgotten, the bottom line is that while my skin is a burden, it is still light years better than being covered in the fat suit that insulated me from life for so many years.
Cheers, my friend.
tori
I can relate so much with what you are saying. I think that is why I reposted my "skin" post this weekend, I just felt like putting it out there helps others, and helps me to see the difference between the ME in clothes, and the ugly ME in the mirror. Some people get more into buying clothing when they get slender, but for me, I hate it. 90% of my warddrobe is hand-me-downs from others who have been dieting and leaving my size to go smaller. I can't stand how it feels to be in a dressing room looking at all that squooshy skin being tucked into clothing never designed to deal with that entity called excess skin.
~Lady Lithia~ 200 lbs lost!
March 9, 2011 - Coccygectomy!
I chased my dreams, and my dreams, they caught me!
Lora.. I just want to send a little air hug! I'm gonna need the help of a surgeon when I'm done too..and where the hell have my girls gone? Two tube socks lol.. Sometimes it just makes me sick to think I did this to myself... So, I pull up my not as big girl panties and carry on... The alternative is not an option after all of this :/
HW 274. CW 129
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