Let he who is without blemish cast the first stone

 Oh yeah...like I said...some folks gave very measured responses. I'm sort of glad I came into this late in the game. I can sometimes get very passionate when I go into "saviour" mode. 

This is why I don't respond to a lot of posts anymore. I'm sure if I took a census I post twice as much as I respond to posts, purely on the fact that I don't know how much I have to offer in terms of patience and measured thought.

I appreciate you for bringing us down off the pedestal we've put ourselves on....we do need to remember those early days............so hard sometimes.....

Vets like you are needed-keep posting...speaking of which????

Where is our Biggest Loser thread for this week???

Hugs Nik!

Oh, and as another note on "that poster"....I was "game over" when I read that "she talked to the doctor and he agreed that she doesn't have any malabsorption, and maybe her staples came loose".....yada yada yada.....

Like ANY doctor is going to make THAT diagnosis on the phone!!

I'll shut up now.

 I just finished watching this morning. I have my recap coming!!!

I think I need to read the WHOLE thread. I am guilty of that too. I got perturbed and posted. I try not to do that TOO often but it happens. I am human. 

 You mention gloating. I think that's what struck a nerve with me. She took NO responsibility for anything. Everything she was doing was because of someone or something else that MADE her do it. She HAD to go to a fancy italian restaurant, she HAD to drink wine. She couldn't learn the proper rules because her SURGEON didn't tell her. 

For me, part of having this surgery (the hardest part, if I'm being honest) was having to own up to the fact that I had screwed myself along the line. I had gotten myself into a position that I could no longer get out of without help. I had to own that if I was ever going to move forward. 

Nik, if you're reading this, this isn't self righteouness. This is me being as painfully honest as I can be. I did this to myself. And now I have to fix it. My surgeon can help, but as you state, WLS is just a tool. I'll be the one doing the work. And I'm willing to do the work. I think a lot of people were really baffled and frustrated that someone would go through something like this without being willing to do their part in any way.

I gave my response, which was entirely made of questions--hoping I'd get her thinking or maybe just LEARN a little about what's going on in her head-- but none of it was never addressed. If my response reflects poorly on me, I'm okay with that. I just hope she gets some help. 

 Oh your questions seemed very reasonable, especially when you asked what she hoped to gain from experimenting in that way. 

I think that asking questions that make you take a good hard look at yourself may not earn you popularity but they do help others.

Like I said to Kim, I probably jumped the gun in responding. I do that sometimes. But I do recognize this poster was NOT without faults. Red flags. Hell...sink holes. I think I just got bugged by some of what I read and tapped out my thoughts before they settled.

I can't say that after settling they would not have been the same thoughts...but in general buffer time is a good thing. 

I admit that I should sometimes make much better use of "buffer" time.  We are ALL a work in progress...

Lora

I've posted about my Friend that I am concerned about she had surgery 7 years ago and follows almost none of the rules I follow and is now facing complications.  I asked her why she does/doesn't do xyz and she told me that she didn't know she had to.  I ask her if she had done any research on her surgery before she had it and her reply to me was, "back then I was only concerned with getting thin and didn't know that there was more to the surgery that I needed to know other then it would help me become thin".  People have to stop assuming that everyone thinks the same way and have taken or accumulated the same information that they have.

I'm not assuming anything about her accumulation of knowledge.

She blatantly SAID that she didn't follow the rules for her band. She SAID her surgeon didn't give her any rules, and then when confronted with a very thorough list of her surgeons rules, published right out there in the open, she ignored that.

One can only admit that they broke the rules if they know that there ARE rules, and that they are not following them.

If this was a case of "Omg, I really had no idea", it would be different. But it's not. In one of her blog posts, she says straight up, "I hope I don't sabotage my RnY the way I did my Band." (A statement which, I'll admit, makes me tremendously sad for her)

There is a big, gaping difference between honestly not knowing something and what we've got going on here. But ultimately, everyone has said their piece, and now it's up to her, and I wish her luck and a safe recovery.

She SAID her surgeon didn't give her any rules, and then when confronted with a very thorough list of her surgeons rules, published right out there in the open, she ignored that.

I didn't read her blog but I do remember the gentlemen finding her doctors web site and posting all of the pre-op and post-op rules.  I also remember her responding with a thank you to the guy and saying that she had no idea about the site or the rules which is plausible.

I'm a little confused as to what kind of response you're looking for from me.

I imagine there are quite a few post-ops out there, like you said about your friend--who were so focused on the weight loss part that they never understood or realized that there was so much more to it. And I also assume that several years ago, surgeons probably also didn't know as much as they do now. I absolutely believe that that happens. I just don't believe that's the case we have here.

However, if you do,  I have no reason to argue. Whether or not someone else believes her is none of my business.   

I don't feel I have anything to apologize for, as I never attacked her.