Let he who is without blemish cast the first stone
I like this post. It sums it all up well.
Good luck with your diabetes battle. That is not in my gene pool. No matter how much I weighed, high dose steroids, or pregnancy ever raised my blood sugar. Those doctors kept looking and looking for it but alas.
I got crap kidneys instead (although my new one is kicking ass)
Deb T.
Good luck with your diabetes battle. That is not in my gene pool. No matter how much I weighed, high dose steroids, or pregnancy ever raised my blood sugar. Those doctors kept looking and looking for it but alas.
I got crap kidneys instead (although my new one is kicking ass)
Deb T.
Congrats on ducking under the diabetes gene pool - it sucks when you do everything you are supposed to and it makes little to no difference 
It's been a real inspiration to see you deal with your crap kidneys and I'm so glad the new one is stepping up to the plate
Long may it continue to do its most excellent job!
It's been a real inspiration to see you deal with your crap kidneys and I'm so glad the new one is stepping up to the plate
Long may it continue to do its most excellent job!Proud Feminist, Atheist, LGBT friend, and Democratic Socialist
I haven't had the surgery yet so I feel bad for saying this. But if you are on OH and you have gone to a Bariatric Surgeon THEY MUST HAVE SEEN the no alcohal and the food stages. You may not be ready for it sure but to say it so casually I was also told I can have 3 glasses of wine....really how is that possible? I mean I know it is possible and I know this is to make your life better but by eating so soon solids the crackers scare me I hope they were in the soup soft and mushy and having wine.....I know that could be me one day. But I just hope that she gets the help she needs because likea previous poster people who say things like this stick in my head and I worry about them.
I wish her all the best I wish that she find a new Dr if he is telling her she can do all these things and I hope that the next post from her is something more positive!
I wish her all the best I wish that she find a new Dr if he is telling her she can do all these things and I hope that the next post from her is something more positive!
Michelle
Did the happy dance onto the Loser's Bench March 18, 2013!
Visit my blog at http://skinnyundermyfat.blogspot.com/
I saw a lot of the same advice given repeatedly - Talk to your NUT, stick to your doctor's rules, go in and get checked out. And every time, she came back with excuses that had already been completely contradicted in her blog. And then she called everyone bigoted, dishonest, and hateful and blocked us across the board.
It seems very much that if she's not willing to even acknowledge that her surgeon HAS rules or that she does, in fact, HAVE a nutritionist, and then above that, she's quick to block a large group of regular posters here who can all offer sound feedback....it sounds very much like no matter what anyone says or how they said it, she's not willing to hear it.
So given her history and attitude, what would have been a good response?
It seems very much that if she's not willing to even acknowledge that her surgeon HAS rules or that she does, in fact, HAVE a nutritionist, and then above that, she's quick to block a large group of regular posters here who can all offer sound feedback....it sounds very much like no matter what anyone says or how they said it, she's not willing to hear it.
So given her history and attitude, what would have been a good response?
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Check out my video blog! www.youtube.com/user/HappilyShrinking/videos
Highest weight: 269. Surgery weight: 233. Goal weight: 144, and then we'll see..
Check out my video blog! www.youtube.com/user/HappilyShrinking/videos
Highest weight: 269. Surgery weight: 233. Goal weight: 144, and then we'll see..
I don't know if mine was any better but I responded that she should consider going in for testing as it's not normal to be able to eat that much.
If they don't want to do that...that's not my problem. Fine...ruin yourself. I said my peace.
There have been many, many, MANY times when someone wasn't trying to hear my advice. I let it go. Months later some folks come back and say "you know, even though I didn't agree with you back then what you said at least made me think."
I think it's all in the presentation. But as I've said in this thread repeatedly. It isn't her I'm concerned about. I am being reflective. Some answers put up a red flag to me in how we think...and how that translates in how we react.
That poster will come and go as so many others have. In the four years I've been here I've met hundreds of people I never spoke to again. So I try to keep my focus on how what we say and do reflects on who WE are...not what the other person is doing.
If they don't want to do that...that's not my problem. Fine...ruin yourself. I said my peace.
There have been many, many, MANY times when someone wasn't trying to hear my advice. I let it go. Months later some folks come back and say "you know, even though I didn't agree with you back then what you said at least made me think."
I think it's all in the presentation. But as I've said in this thread repeatedly. It isn't her I'm concerned about. I am being reflective. Some answers put up a red flag to me in how we think...and how that translates in how we react.
That poster will come and go as so many others have. In the four years I've been here I've met hundreds of people I never spoke to again. So I try to keep my focus on how what we say and do reflects on who WE are...not what the other person is doing.
RNY Gastric Bypass 1-8-08 350/327/200 (HW/SW/CW). I spend most of my time playing with my food over at Bariatric Foodie - check me out!
You keep saying you're concerned with how we think.. quite frankly, I don't think its unrealistic for us to think that someone should know exactly what they're supposed to do post-op and be willing to follow the rules to make a change. If she truly "slipped up" her attitude would have been completely different.
There's a lot of things people CAN do fresh post-op.. and I've heard you say it many times that just because one CAN eat something doesn't mean they should. So when many many people took the time to write considerate responses and she came back calling people bigots I was just blown away.
People need to take responsibility for their actions and that poster was just completely unwilling to do so. I think I'm equally confused as to why you're feeling the need to basically accuse most of the board as being judgemental with the subject of this thread.
There's a lot of things people CAN do fresh post-op.. and I've heard you say it many times that just because one CAN eat something doesn't mean they should. So when many many people took the time to write considerate responses and she came back calling people bigots I was just blown away.
People need to take responsibility for their actions and that poster was just completely unwilling to do so. I think I'm equally confused as to why you're feeling the need to basically accuse most of the board as being judgemental with the subject of this thread.
Oh I agree...but I don't think the best way to foster taking responsibility is telling them they shouldn't have been allowed to have surgery.
Like I said, not all responses were that way. Not even a majority. My post was to those who made such statements and maybe I just read them wrong. Lord knows that's possible.
But I do believe I said in my original post that it wasn't all the responses that bugged me. If I didn't, I meant to. But no...not all...just some.
And I don't agree with the "you're being judgmental for accusing us of being judgmental" argument. If I'd said "you obviously aren't fit to participate in this board!" I'd be doing the same thign I saw others do on that thread. I did not. I simply asked some questions.
How you FEEL about my words is not something I have control over. I can't MAKE you feel anything. Just as none of you could MAKE that OP feel anything. I can only inspire thought...as the words of some here have. And if my thought and your thought differ, that's ok. I can handle that. I can even admit when I may have gone on a incorrect thought process (and if you look in this very thread I did that several times). But no...I'm not taking responsibility for how my post made you feel. That's between you and you.
Like I said, not all responses were that way. Not even a majority. My post was to those who made such statements and maybe I just read them wrong. Lord knows that's possible.
But I do believe I said in my original post that it wasn't all the responses that bugged me. If I didn't, I meant to. But no...not all...just some.
And I don't agree with the "you're being judgmental for accusing us of being judgmental" argument. If I'd said "you obviously aren't fit to participate in this board!" I'd be doing the same thign I saw others do on that thread. I did not. I simply asked some questions.
How you FEEL about my words is not something I have control over. I can't MAKE you feel anything. Just as none of you could MAKE that OP feel anything. I can only inspire thought...as the words of some here have. And if my thought and your thought differ, that's ok. I can handle that. I can even admit when I may have gone on a incorrect thought process (and if you look in this very thread I did that several times). But no...I'm not taking responsibility for how my post made you feel. That's between you and you.
RNY Gastric Bypass 1-8-08 350/327/200 (HW/SW/CW). I spend most of my time playing with my food over at Bariatric Foodie - check me out!
I want to make it really clear that no one else EVER has really made me think that he or she shouldn't have the surgery. By the time I said what I said, I truly believed she was lying about everything, incluidng having had the surgery. Later today, my thinking became more clear, as I realized that nothing she said added up.
There are sometimes people that need a little more help before they can get the surgery. I know that I waited three years from the date I first started thinking about it, because I needed to get my head together so I could focus on doing the right thing for myself. I also needed to deal with some medical issues, such as endometriosis. No way was I going to have this surgery if I was still dealing with the horrible pain and periods I experienced before my hysterectomy.
Even so, I don't have really harsh rules for other people. Imperfect self-love is better than no self-love. But that act of internet vomit was beyond any sort of crazy.
There are sometimes people that need a little more help before they can get the surgery. I know that I waited three years from the date I first started thinking about it, because I needed to get my head together so I could focus on doing the right thing for myself. I also needed to deal with some medical issues, such as endometriosis. No way was I going to have this surgery if I was still dealing with the horrible pain and periods I experienced before my hysterectomy.
Even so, I don't have really harsh rules for other people. Imperfect self-love is better than no self-love. But that act of internet vomit was beyond any sort of crazy.
i think that most did a whole lot of research, reading, talking, just overall getting ready for this journey. I think there are not many things that shock me but that post DID, it was attempt # 2 at this .. when do you learn? when do you not require sympathy and coddling?
was i perfect post? as good as i could be with the knowledge i had...I will say having gone to the WIsh center was good for me, you had to spend X amount of time with them(therapy) sorry, i am rambling and cant find the words to express what i feel today(not a good brain day)
was i perfect post? as good as i could be with the knowledge i had...I will say having gone to the WIsh center was good for me, you had to spend X amount of time with them(therapy) sorry, i am rambling and cant find the words to express what i feel today(not a good brain day)
Rny 2003
come join the new R&R 3.0, where the fun is:)
I hear ya. My issue is that she almost appeared to be gloating about her supposed ignorance.
*Drinking alcohol practically in the parking deck as she left the hospital
*Surgeon didn't give a "plan"
*Has to eat big Italian meals 3x a week.....
*Didn't know smoking was bad
*Turning on everyone for giving firm advice
*Testing the limits to that degree
*She's a revision.....for goodness sake, after all those years, you have to have stumbled upon some piece of information about WLS
*She's been a member here for years....you would think she'd fall backwards into a pile of information just from logging on ocassionally
I don't judge her for not being 100% perfect, but dang, at 6 days I was scared to death to do anything that my doctor didn't tell me to do.....It took me almost a year to start to test the waters.....and most important, don't reach out for help and then think you can dictate how that help is delivered. People on here **** me off regularly when responding to some of my stuff, but I still either thank them or do not respond.
No one knows what she told her doctor. If I wanted something bad enough, I could pull off an Academy Award performance and convince a doctor that "I'm ready".....
I just hope in the long run she gets the help she needs....it likely wont be from OH since she blocked most of the people that could ultimately help her.
*Drinking alcohol practically in the parking deck as she left the hospital
*Surgeon didn't give a "plan"
*Has to eat big Italian meals 3x a week.....
*Didn't know smoking was bad
*Turning on everyone for giving firm advice
*Testing the limits to that degree
*She's a revision.....for goodness sake, after all those years, you have to have stumbled upon some piece of information about WLS
*She's been a member here for years....you would think she'd fall backwards into a pile of information just from logging on ocassionally
I don't judge her for not being 100% perfect, but dang, at 6 days I was scared to death to do anything that my doctor didn't tell me to do.....It took me almost a year to start to test the waters.....and most important, don't reach out for help and then think you can dictate how that help is delivered. People on here **** me off regularly when responding to some of my stuff, but I still either thank them or do not respond.
No one knows what she told her doctor. If I wanted something bad enough, I could pull off an Academy Award performance and convince a doctor that "I'm ready".....
I just hope in the long run she gets the help she needs....it likely wont be from OH since she blocked most of the people that could ultimately help her.
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