If you only want to hear one response...
I know. And people continued to do so even after she indicated she did not appreciate any help and did not want to be told she needed to change her behavior. I think it shows how much many people on this board really care. It's unfortunate when someone turns down all that help, but everyone gets to make their own decisions.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
On March 7, 2012 at 7:30 PM Pacific Time, poet_kelly wrote:
Please make life easy for everyone and tell us what that response is when you post.For instance, I could post "Yesterday I ate half a cheesecake. Now I am wondering if that was a good idea? Please respond and tell me that it was OK to eat that. If you think it was not a good idea, please don't say anything at all."
See, if I told you what I was looking for, you could either give it to me or just not reply at all. Then I wouldn't have to get mad at you for telling me follow my doctor's guidelines or call my therapist. And you wouldn't have to waste your time trying to give me help that I didn't want.
Paul C.
First 5K 9/27/20 46:32 - 11 weeks post op (PR 28:55 8/15/11)
First 10K 7/04/2011 1:03 First 15K 9/18/2011 1:37
First Half Marathon 10/02/2011 2:27:44 (PR 2:24:35)
First Half Ironman 9/30/12 7:32:04
First 5K 9/27/20 46:32 - 11 weeks post op (PR 28:55 8/15/11)
First 10K 7/04/2011 1:03 First 15K 9/18/2011 1:37
First Half Marathon 10/02/2011 2:27:44 (PR 2:24:35)
First Half Ironman 9/30/12 7:32:04
Fortunately for many folks on this board (from my perspective) I don't give a (BLEEP) what you WANT to hear. If you're being self-destructive and I feel compelled to tell you so, I will. You can get mad at me. My grandmother told me that nobody in this world is meant to be liked by everybody. She also used to say "But right is right."
The thing about it is that newbie backlash often makes me not even want to bother. You wanna be self-destructive? Fine! You want to do what you want to do? Fine! What do I know? I've only been living this a few years, after all.
But then I think that's the nature of the beast with public forums. My personal responsibility is to myself, first and foremost. Much as I love you all, I am not putting myself into a position where I am losing any sleep over what you've said to me. So if I feel like the person won't benefit from or appreciate my input, I usually just don't offer it. And in the end, I truly feel like it's their loss.
The thing about it is that newbie backlash often makes me not even want to bother. You wanna be self-destructive? Fine! You want to do what you want to do? Fine! What do I know? I've only been living this a few years, after all.
But then I think that's the nature of the beast with public forums. My personal responsibility is to myself, first and foremost. Much as I love you all, I am not putting myself into a position where I am losing any sleep over what you've said to me. So if I feel like the person won't benefit from or appreciate my input, I usually just don't offer it. And in the end, I truly feel like it's their loss.
Yeah. So you could post, "Please do not tell me the truth about my cheesecake eating and wine drinking, because that will hurt my feelings." Then I would know that I should either lie to you or just move on.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
I haven't seen the post in question, but may I just say that it's possible to give information, even firmly, without making fun of or ridiculing the person asking for it?
If someone asks, "Can I have XYZ two weeks post-op?" and the response is "WHY would you want to eat XYZ?!?" that's less than helpful. It makes the person feel like an idiot and doesn't give them the answer they needed. A more helpful response might have been, "It's way to soon to eat XYZ. It might do ABC to you." Firm, informative, but not ridiculing.
And if someone says, "My doctor (or nut) says it's OK to eat XYZ at two weeks post-op," a response saying, "Stop passing bad information! You can't eat XYZ at two weeks post-op and you should know it!" is also less than helpful. A more helpful response might be, "Your doctor may approve it, but most doctors don't because it could do ABC to you." Again, informative, firm, but without insulting the person.
Hostility is not necessary. Information is.
If someone asks, "Can I have XYZ two weeks post-op?" and the response is "WHY would you want to eat XYZ?!?" that's less than helpful. It makes the person feel like an idiot and doesn't give them the answer they needed. A more helpful response might have been, "It's way to soon to eat XYZ. It might do ABC to you." Firm, informative, but not ridiculing.
And if someone says, "My doctor (or nut) says it's OK to eat XYZ at two weeks post-op," a response saying, "Stop passing bad information! You can't eat XYZ at two weeks post-op and you should know it!" is also less than helpful. A more helpful response might be, "Your doctor may approve it, but most doctors don't because it could do ABC to you." Again, informative, firm, but without insulting the person.
Hostility is not necessary. Information is.
- Barb, who is at GOOOOOOAAAAAAL!
HW: 274 SW: 244 GW: 137 CW: 137!
Keep on swimming! Keep on swimming!
Welllll...seee....I think it CAN be helpful if framed correctly.
Take the case of post-ops who find they can eat a lot. Yes...but are eating because you are hungry?" Or because you CAN? In that context, I think the "why do want to eat that?" is perfectly valid. It forces you to examine your tool and figure out if maybe your expectations of your surgery aren't panning out the way you thought.
Just my two cents.
Take the case of post-ops who find they can eat a lot. Yes...but are eating because you are hungry?" Or because you CAN? In that context, I think the "why do want to eat that?" is perfectly valid. It forces you to examine your tool and figure out if maybe your expectations of your surgery aren't panning out the way you thought.
Just my two cents.
RNY Gastric Bypass 1-8-08 350/327/200 (HW/SW/CW). I spend most of my time playing with my food over at Bariatric Foodie - check me out!
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