If you only want to hear one response...
Please make life easy for everyone and tell us what that response is when you post.
For instance, I could post "Yesterday I ate half a cheesecake. Now I am wondering if that was a good idea? Please respond and tell me that it was OK to eat that. If you think it was not a good idea, please don't say anything at all."
See, if I told you what I was looking for, you could either give it to me or just not reply at all. Then I wouldn't have to get mad at you for telling me follow my doctor's guidelines or call my therapist. And you wouldn't have to waste your time trying to give me help that I didn't want.
For instance, I could post "Yesterday I ate half a cheesecake. Now I am wondering if that was a good idea? Please respond and tell me that it was OK to eat that. If you think it was not a good idea, please don't say anything at all."
See, if I told you what I was looking for, you could either give it to me or just not reply at all. Then I wouldn't have to get mad at you for telling me follow my doctor's guidelines or call my therapist. And you wouldn't have to waste your time trying to give me help that I didn't want.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
You totally neglected to mention what response you wanted from this post!
I do agree... and I even advocate what you are doing.
From time to time on this journey I felt fragile, unable to take negative or critical remarks, and so when I posted about something, I would add a final caveat that "I'm feeling really fragile, so please only kind-hearted and gentle responses" or something like that. If I wasn't up to the full complement of typical answers, I either didn't post, or added a disclaimer to emphasize what I was looking for and not looking for.
For the most part though, I expect that once I've posted, some of the responses might not be what I wanted. Like when I was underweight and someone from a different surgery type came onto my thread and suggested I ask one of teh "successful" people with RNY to help me so that I wouldn't regain everything since I had a problem with eating. (which went to show that they didn't even read what I wrote since it was UNDER eating that was my issue).
I agree whole-heartedly. If a person takes the time to write a response, 99.9% of the time it is someone who is trying to help out. I'm absolutely certain that the person reading the responses isn't HELPED by 99.9% of the responses... sometimes there are responses that don't mesh with teh issue. I've done that, where I've posted a question or a concern, and someone has responded with "sounds like you're dehydrated and not getting enough protein" ... if I didn't include it in the post, then they wouldn't know that liquid and protein are NOT my issues. I don't get all mad at them for not knowing the stuff I didn't post, I just thank them and if I feel it is important, I add the information I accidentally omitted in the original post, knowing it might allow for better and more focused responses.
I do agree... and I even advocate what you are doing.
From time to time on this journey I felt fragile, unable to take negative or critical remarks, and so when I posted about something, I would add a final caveat that "I'm feeling really fragile, so please only kind-hearted and gentle responses" or something like that. If I wasn't up to the full complement of typical answers, I either didn't post, or added a disclaimer to emphasize what I was looking for and not looking for.
For the most part though, I expect that once I've posted, some of the responses might not be what I wanted. Like when I was underweight and someone from a different surgery type came onto my thread and suggested I ask one of teh "successful" people with RNY to help me so that I wouldn't regain everything since I had a problem with eating. (which went to show that they didn't even read what I wrote since it was UNDER eating that was my issue).
I agree whole-heartedly. If a person takes the time to write a response, 99.9% of the time it is someone who is trying to help out. I'm absolutely certain that the person reading the responses isn't HELPED by 99.9% of the responses... sometimes there are responses that don't mesh with teh issue. I've done that, where I've posted a question or a concern, and someone has responded with "sounds like you're dehydrated and not getting enough protein" ... if I didn't include it in the post, then they wouldn't know that liquid and protein are NOT my issues. I don't get all mad at them for not knowing the stuff I didn't post, I just thank them and if I feel it is important, I add the information I accidentally omitted in the original post, knowing it might allow for better and more focused responses.
~Lady Lithia~ 200 lbs lost!
March 9, 2011 - Coccygectomy!
I chased my dreams, and my dreams, they caught me!
I would share, but I ate the rest of it this evening. It wasn't my fault though. After I finished off that bottle of wine, I just lost control.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
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