Full vs. "not hungry anymore"

One thing WLS teaches you about fast is subtle distinctions between TWO things we used to think of as one.

For example: hunger and appetite? Do you know the difference? Hunger is the NEED to eat (because the body needs calories for fuel or nutrients). Appetite is the will to eat. You can have hunger (need) without having appetite (want). And you can have appetite without having hunger. Lovely, right?

Another example is full vs. not hungry anymore. I know before surgery I ate until I was full. Ok, let’s be real. I ate beyond full to maximum capacity.

Not everyone is like me, but most people like to feel comfortably full (not the bad kind of full that can sometimes be painful).

And when we have WLS we expect we’ll get full on very small amounts of food. Except it doesn’t always happen that way, does it?

For some of us, our prescribed amounts of food, while enough to rid us of hunger, never really give us that “full" feeling. And then we freak out (cuz…that’s what we do).

Dieticians will tell you that you should only eat until satisfied. That’s sort of like telling a fish to only breathe in clear water. The distinction isn’t always so obvious for us and to even begin to MAKE that distinction takes skills we’ve not yet developed.

Plus, you have formed the habit of wanting to be full. You’re taking on a lot of biological processes to try to overcome this.

That is not to say it should not be overcome. That is to say it isn’t as easy as some people seem to think it is.

So what do you do? I’m not here to give the answers but mostly just to tell you what worked for ME.

Personally, I find that when I get that “dammit, I’m not full!" feeling I have a bit too much time on my hands. Conversely, if I eat a satisfying meal and go do something else, it’s not that big a deal. So…I try to schedule meals right up against something else so I simply don’t have time to mourn my meal.

I also pack lots of “free food" snacks. Carrot sticks, cucumber slices, etc. If I’m still wanting to eat, I snack on those. One of two things happens. Either a) my food addiction gets pissed with me, doesn’t want to play anymore, packs its crayons and leaves or b) the skins I leave on the veggies fill me up with fiber. Either way, I come out the winner.

Lastly, I think there is some merit in forcing yourself to face that desire and staring it down. You’re not hungry. You know you’re not hungry. So just sit with that feeling of wanting to eat more for a minute. You’ll go through a whole plethora of emotions. You’ll want it bad, you’ll be pissed at yourself for wanting it bad, you’ll feel deprived, you’ll damn your surgery, you’ll damn your spouse (for no good reason), you’ll want to give up, you’ll feel infinitely tired of thinking about this stuff all the time and then…somehow you get to the core of what’s going on…if you wait it out long enough. It works. It ain’t easy though.

But at the bottom of it all, I just wanted to say there is a difference between being full and simply not being hungry anymore. If you eat and you find you are not full but you are also not hungry anymore? You’re done eating. Go do something else. You get to eat again in a few hours…I promise!

I think everyone who has WLS should be required to read this on a weekly basis, it's THAT good.  This is akin to WLS gospel, according to Nik... thank you for posting it.

I'm printing it out and am going to refer to it on a regular basis.  Never hurts to be reminded...


tori

printing and posting in my cubby... the number one place my "appeitite" likes to pop its ulgy head out at me. 

What a wise woman you are Nik!!! 

Your post was very timely, as I recognized over the weekend that my appetite is starting to speak up very loudly again.  Very early out after surgery, my appetite actually shut up for a while.  Now it's talking to me and trying to convince me I want things I'm not even hungry for.

So far, the best thing for me is to drink some water and go and get busy with something away from the kitchen.  I knew in my head that the surgery wouldn't fix these issues, but I guess I was just hoping I would be a miraculous exception.  Ha!  Thanks for the insight.

 

I love the part about staring down the food addiction with veggies!

Since I don't get "hungry" anymore -- just the symptoms of blood sugar crashing if I go too long between feedings -- if I stopped eating as soon as I felt my BS symptoms subside (what I presume would be the equivalent of "not hungry anymore", I would have wasted away, I think.  I have to be honest, though... I still sometimes (more frequently than I would like or would like to admit) eat until I know another bite or two will make me regret it (feeling overfull, which is thoroughly unpleasant for me since my RNY).  Part of that whole Work In Progress thing...

Lora

I was thinking about a similar issue: real hunger vs. head hunger... and I came up with an answer for me... (that may not work for anyone else)

When I am really hungry , like - it is time to eat, or my blood sugar gets too low., I am willing to eat anything - even if it does not taste that good.  

With head hunger - I get more picky - I still want to eat - but I only want to eat what I have appetite for - not just any food... 

So now - when I get hungry - and it is not time to eat - I do ask myself - will I eat just any food - or do I crave ... some specific food... If I only want to eat some items, means that I am not really hungry and I have a head hunger... That also means that I can wait and eat when the time is right.  

Like with a child - they want food - but they want dessert - not real meal or "food food".  = they are not really that hungry.

 Excellent point!  I love the analogy to a child...

Yes, when my BS crashes, any protein and carb combo will do... Even if the two items are kind of gross together but are what is most readily handy.

Lora

Yeah...that kid analogy plays out in my house every day.

And my poor kids...having a mother who writes about global poverty!

Here's how the convo goes:

Kid: Mom, I'm hungry, can I have a cookie?

Me: Eat a yogurt (apple/grapes)

Kid: I don't want that. I want a cookie.

Me: If you are hungry, you can have some yogurt, an apple or some grapes

Kid: But mom, I'm really hungry!

Me: Then you have two choices. You may have a yogurt, an apple or some grapes OR you could choose to stand in solidarity with the 925 million people around the world who are chronically hungry, as prescribed by the United Nations World Food Program. Take your pick.

Kid: Hmph!

 LOL.  Glad you're not MY mom, although at my house (when I was a kid) the conversation just stopped at "if you're really hungry, you can have some cheese  or fruit" (we didn't eat yogurt when I was a kid, but we ate a lot of cheese).

Lora