OT - there's always someone that has it worse

I've been pretty depressed lately and feeling sorry for myself lately because of my financial problems.  Thinking it's not fair, I work hard, blah blah blah.  And maybe it's not fair, but as my grandmother always used to tell me, life is not fair.

About a week ago, my neighbor tried to kill himself.  I don't know all the details, just heard from his wife a couple days ago.  I have no idea why he did it, if he had a history or depression or what.  They are nice people but I don't know them very well.   They helped me out when my nephew was living with me and have always been nice to me, though.

Apparently he shot himself in the head.  His wife said he basically blew off the whole lower half of his face.  He has had a bunch of surgery already and has a lot more to come.  We live in a small town and the hospital here was not equipped to care for his serious injuries so he was flown to a larger city.  His wife has been staying there with him.  Their three children are staying with an aunt.

He and he wife both work at a local gas station.  They can't make much money.  Of course, he is not working now and she said she was told it could be a year or more before he could go back to work, if ever.  She's not working right now either because she is staying with him out of town.  They have no health insurance.  I know the hospital will reduce some of the medical bills based on his income but can you imagine the amount they will end up owing?  Good grief, what do you think it costs to be flown by medical helicopter to a town over an hour away?  I'm sure they will have to file bankruptcy.

I can't imagine how he must be feeling right now.  His wife said they are keeping him heavily sedated, so maybe he's not feeling much yet.  I can't imagine what she must be feeling, either.  I really can't imagine how she manages to get out of bed.  She must be so angry, so hurt, so scared.

I know I'm starting to babble here.  The fact that they are facing such problems doesn't mean my problems aren't important and it doesn't mean I'm not worried and depressed.  But man, it does put things in perspective for me.  It shows me that I have a lot to be grateful for.

How very sad on so many levels.  Sometimes it's hard to find any silver lining - perhaps hearing this is what you needed to help with your own perspective.  I have a friend with 5 kids and a difficult husband - listening to her always helps ground me in how I react to my kids and husband.  Hugs to both you and your neighbor and her family.
Jackie

Kelly:

I am sorry to hear about your neighbor.  Sometimes when we get to the end of our rope, we just let go instead of hanging on tight.  Every time I have a down day and money worries, I think about Jimmy Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life".  My mother always said that for every gray cloud, there is a silver lining.  I always try to remember this and put everything in perspective.  Take care, you will find a balance somewhere too.

Wow. That sort of stuff really brings you back to reality, doesn't it?

One thing I value in my life is my relationship to my church. We run a shelter for women and children and an outreach program that transitions the women into long-term living situations.

Those women are no different than me. I am one paycheck away from disaster at any given time. But when I interact with them, I always come away feeling like my problems aren't so big. These women are facing way more than me and I cannot begin to imagine the process of losing your home, not knowing if you'll have a roof over your head and having children to provide for. It humbles me a lot.

Yep, there's always someone worse off than you.

For what it's worth, Kelly, I've been loving some of your creative solutions to things. Making your own detergent and yogurt. You may not see it as a big thing, but it is. You are engaged in your cost-saving measures. That makes all the difference.

I just said a little prayer for your neighbors.

I once heard it said that if we all sat down together and put our problems out on the table and were told to pick up any other set of problems we wanted from anybody else, chances are we'd each pick up our own...

I have a 29 year old niece who, after going through infertility treatments, just gave birth to a baby in November.  Last Monday, she was told she has colon cancer.  Tuesday they did surgery and remove 19 inches of her colon.  Thursday the biopsy reports came back and there is lymph node involvement.  Possibly liver involvement as well.  There are also two spots that have not yet been conclusively identified, but may be cancer that has metastasized to the liver. 

Here is a young girl who had her whole life in front of her just two weeks ago, and is now possibly facing a death sentence.
 
If God would let me, I would pick up her problems as I have raised my family and am well on my way to being elderly, so I'd take this for her if only I could.  Her husband and son need her. 

This just so sucks... 

I know this won't necessarily help the depression part, but just know the difference you make for so many of us, Kelly. Your perspective on things is balanced and to the point, and helps make tough journeys easier. You are so generous and patient and kind.

I know there are many of us rooting for you!!!