Random Poll: What is your deepest, darkest fear about WLS or WLS-lifestyle?
My biggest pre-op fears were pretty standard I think...I was afraid it wouldn't work. I was afraid it would hurt a lot. It did hurt, a lot. I have a low tolerance for pain, but a very high tolerance for pain meds, as I spent much of my childhood taking them for near daily migraines. Anyhow, mostly I was terrified I would have the surgery, and it would not work.
Now that I'm almost 5 months out, my fears have changed, and in a direction I didn't anticipate. The surgery is working...I'm down 80 pounds. I feared the stall...I'm almost 4 weeks into mine now. It's starting to wear on me, every day gets harder than the last. I don't weigh daily, once or twice a week at max, but it hasn't changed since January 18th, and when you're seeing results, going to the gym is easy. When you're not seeing results on the scale, you wonder why the hell you put yourself through the pain and exhaustion of working out for an hour or more a day. But you keep on doing it, and keep on eating right, and notice that you have collarbones again...or you never knew you had a girlish figure...you start getting more comfortable with compliments and comments on your weight loss...your clothes start to fit better. Logically, I know I will lose weight again...I'm just impatient and slightly neurotic. I am really afraid I will hate my body after the weight loss. I already miss my arms...yeah, now they're really toned and muscular, but they flap like a flag in the breeze. The loose skin ripples up my arm when I do my push off of the wall in the pool. It's fascinating and disgusting at the same time to watch. My pannus and thighs are constantly covered in huge bandages due to sores from friction. I can't shave my thighs or bikini area for fear of infection. It's awful. I'm unemployed (by choice...I took a lay off package at work to have the surgery and have a year to really work on getting healthy) and worry that we'll never be able to afford plastics. I'm scared of plastic surgery as well. I hate anesthesia. Shudder.
I had this surgery for many reasons, but in no small part so that I could rid myself of this damn PCOS and have my hubby's baby. I want nothing more. I've wanted to have kids since I was a kid, and now that I'm losing weight, and my hormones are normalizing, and my cycles are regulating, I'm TERRIFIED that I will not be able to conceive, or worse yet, carry. I went through multiple miscarriages, and don't want to do that again. I'm not trying to be greedy, I will be fully satisfied with one happy healthy baby. I'm about a year away from being able to start trying, and I'm so afraid that when the time comes, it won't happen. On the opposite side, I'm equally terrified of becoming pregnant unintentionally. I feel the urge to pee on a stick damn near every day, just to be sure. It's weighs heavily on me, and then I feel guilty for not wanting to be pregnant just because it's not when I want to get pregnant, like I should be grateful to get pregnant regardless of when it happens, even though I know I could not support another life growing inside of me right now. It's hard enough to feed myself. Then that leads to fears that when I am far enough out, and do get pregnant, that the baby will be sickly because of my choice to have surgery then get pregnant. See, I said I was neurotic. I could go on for hours. Constant streaming thoughs, like the news ticker on CNN...hello, bipolar self, apparently we are having a bit of a manic spell, mixed with crazy hormone surges and mood swings!
Anyhow, most of what we fear will not come to fruition...but it doesn't make the fear any less scary while you're fearing it.
Gina :~)
Now that I'm almost 5 months out, my fears have changed, and in a direction I didn't anticipate. The surgery is working...I'm down 80 pounds. I feared the stall...I'm almost 4 weeks into mine now. It's starting to wear on me, every day gets harder than the last. I don't weigh daily, once or twice a week at max, but it hasn't changed since January 18th, and when you're seeing results, going to the gym is easy. When you're not seeing results on the scale, you wonder why the hell you put yourself through the pain and exhaustion of working out for an hour or more a day. But you keep on doing it, and keep on eating right, and notice that you have collarbones again...or you never knew you had a girlish figure...you start getting more comfortable with compliments and comments on your weight loss...your clothes start to fit better. Logically, I know I will lose weight again...I'm just impatient and slightly neurotic. I am really afraid I will hate my body after the weight loss. I already miss my arms...yeah, now they're really toned and muscular, but they flap like a flag in the breeze. The loose skin ripples up my arm when I do my push off of the wall in the pool. It's fascinating and disgusting at the same time to watch. My pannus and thighs are constantly covered in huge bandages due to sores from friction. I can't shave my thighs or bikini area for fear of infection. It's awful. I'm unemployed (by choice...I took a lay off package at work to have the surgery and have a year to really work on getting healthy) and worry that we'll never be able to afford plastics. I'm scared of plastic surgery as well. I hate anesthesia. Shudder.
I had this surgery for many reasons, but in no small part so that I could rid myself of this damn PCOS and have my hubby's baby. I want nothing more. I've wanted to have kids since I was a kid, and now that I'm losing weight, and my hormones are normalizing, and my cycles are regulating, I'm TERRIFIED that I will not be able to conceive, or worse yet, carry. I went through multiple miscarriages, and don't want to do that again. I'm not trying to be greedy, I will be fully satisfied with one happy healthy baby. I'm about a year away from being able to start trying, and I'm so afraid that when the time comes, it won't happen. On the opposite side, I'm equally terrified of becoming pregnant unintentionally. I feel the urge to pee on a stick damn near every day, just to be sure. It's weighs heavily on me, and then I feel guilty for not wanting to be pregnant just because it's not when I want to get pregnant, like I should be grateful to get pregnant regardless of when it happens, even though I know I could not support another life growing inside of me right now. It's hard enough to feed myself. Then that leads to fears that when I am far enough out, and do get pregnant, that the baby will be sickly because of my choice to have surgery then get pregnant. See, I said I was neurotic. I could go on for hours. Constant streaming thoughs, like the news ticker on CNN...hello, bipolar self, apparently we are having a bit of a manic spell, mixed with crazy hormone surges and mood swings!
Anyhow, most of what we fear will not come to fruition...but it doesn't make the fear any less scary while you're fearing it.
Gina :~)
I fear that I will wake up from this awesome dream I'm having-Losing a massive amount of weight relatively quickly- getting positive compliments from everyone I meet or see in the first time in a while, to be able to frequent the gym and run/ walk cardio with little effort and feel fantastic when I'm done- to be free of medicines for co-morbid ailments that I had only a short time ago. Yeah, I fear I will wake up and everything positive I have done for myself in the past year will be a waking memory..
Tim T.
Tim T.
Gaining it all back. Just can't even contimplate it.....
First ultra: Stone Mill 50 miler 11/15/14 13:44:38, First Full Marathon: Marine Corps 10/27/13 4:57:11, Half Marathon PR 2:04:43 at Shamrock VA Beach Half-Marathon, 12/2/12 First Half-Marathon 2:32:47, 5K PR Run Under the Lights 5K 27:23 on 11/23/13, 10K PR 52:53 Pike's Peek 10K 4/21/13, (1st timed run) Accumen 8K 51:09 10/14/12.
My biggest fear pre op (i don't have a date yet) is that i will not like my bod AT ALL after the surgery. I am one of those that NEED the surgery for medical issues (diabeties, pcos, high bp..etc) and i'm only 24 so they want to reverse these things. I'm also the type of person who is VERY satisfied with how i look and how men perceive me physically.
I know it sounds selfish but the idea of extra skin and being "too skinny" bothers me. BUT I would trade that for my health anyday, in any life, at any time.
Height: 5'9 Hw: 285 Sw: 272 Cw: 167 Surg. goal: 165
1m: -20 2m: :-18 3m:-10
4m:-12 5m:8 6m:-4 7m:-3 8m-10:-28
We've all been there.
The clothing store.... picking the cute item off the shelf ...... the size number is right, and we take it to the dressing room, only to be utterly floored, embarrased, apalled by the fact that the size is too small......
The fear is always with us (or rather me!) that once again the size I wore yesterday might be too small today. That was hte story of my entire life .... going up up up in size, and never stabilizing never going down .... the fear of shopping, the fear of the dressing room, the fear of never being normal, the fear of being the fat person that sets youngs minds to wondering (as mine did) about how a fat person could FEEL the things that thin people did, how they could be anywhere near human!
My secret fear about WLS is that it is but a temporary bandaide on a stain on my soul, a moral lack that will always shout itself out to anyone looking: I am guilty of gluttony, and I cannot hide it.
That's my secret fear. It's been taking over my life now that I am about 5 lbs heavier than optimum..
The clothing store.... picking the cute item off the shelf ...... the size number is right, and we take it to the dressing room, only to be utterly floored, embarrased, apalled by the fact that the size is too small......
The fear is always with us (or rather me!) that once again the size I wore yesterday might be too small today. That was hte story of my entire life .... going up up up in size, and never stabilizing never going down .... the fear of shopping, the fear of the dressing room, the fear of never being normal, the fear of being the fat person that sets youngs minds to wondering (as mine did) about how a fat person could FEEL the things that thin people did, how they could be anywhere near human!
My secret fear about WLS is that it is but a temporary bandaide on a stain on my soul, a moral lack that will always shout itself out to anyone looking: I am guilty of gluttony, and I cannot hide it.
That's my secret fear. It's been taking over my life now that I am about 5 lbs heavier than optimum..
~Lady Lithia~ 200 lbs lost!
March 9, 2011 - Coccygectomy!
I chased my dreams, and my dreams, they caught me!
My biggest fear is of being a failure again, like every other time I tried to lose weight, only this time, its a one-shot deal. I'm afraid I won't even make it through the first six months without cheating and sabotaging myself and that may just be the straw that breaks the camel's back with regards to my self esteem and self worth.
I didn't see where anyone responded with this (unless I read the posts too fast, which I am guilty of doing).
I'm afraid I'll never really wrap my head around the fact that the image staring at me in the mirror every day is not the same woman who a year ago weighed over 350 pounds. I know I've changed. The physical changes have affected me emotionally (both good and weird). My long-term relationships with friends are changing (I suspect the relationships will end); WLS has forced me to really look into some old closet skeletons. I'm also afraid of discovering who I really am (as my psychologist and I discuss it)...you know without being buried under three hundred some odd pounds of fat.
I'm also afraid of dating. Actually, the thought terrifies me.
I'm afraid I'll never really wrap my head around the fact that the image staring at me in the mirror every day is not the same woman who a year ago weighed over 350 pounds. I know I've changed. The physical changes have affected me emotionally (both good and weird). My long-term relationships with friends are changing (I suspect the relationships will end); WLS has forced me to really look into some old closet skeletons. I'm also afraid of discovering who I really am (as my psychologist and I discuss it)...you know without being buried under three hundred some odd pounds of fat.
I'm also afraid of dating. Actually, the thought terrifies me.
Three big fears.
1. That I'll mess up somehow and not get the protein/vitamins, potassium, etc, that I need and drop dead. (it happened to someone I know, she was several months post op and had lost 100 lbs)
2. That I won't lose enough weight.
3. That my hair will fall out, and will take a long time to grow back, so I'll be fat and bald. :(
~Jenna 
RNY 1/16/12
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