Random Poll: What is your deepest, darkest fear about WLS or WLS-lifestyle?

I am afraid of failing on this.  Lots of people know I had the surgery and some of them want me to fail.  I want to live a healthy life and see my girls grow up and have lives of their own.   My weight should not dictate how I feel but it does.   I have not been a workout fanatic like I should be and that scares me.   I guess in a nut shell, I am afraid of everything.   It is hard to admit that, cause no one really hears me or sees me be that way, but I am.   I am also afraid I have passed on my addictive food ways to my beautiful 8 year old daughter.  

I think I have the usual fears about whether or not I will ever reach my goal weight. But my deepest, darkest fear, that I push to the back of my mind is... What will my life be like as a wls old person. What if I develop dementia (which runs strongly in my family) or worse, Alzheimer's disease? I hope I get a caretaker that knows something about my needs.
I'm actually crying right now thinking about this.  sigh

 My biggest fears going into surgery were not losing as much weight as I wanted, not being able to maintain the weight loss, losing a LOT of my hair, and having so much extra skin that I looked like a freak..

Let's see...  
I did NOT lose as much as I wanted ("all" I wanted was to be a single-digit clothing size... but that did NOT happen... I has to settle for a 10/12)

I lost fully half of my hair (and then lost a ton more a year and a half after the original round of hair loss), so I am still trying to get ALL of my hair even to shoulder-length nearly 5 years later

I had so much extra hanging skin and tissue on my belly and mons once I was done losing that I cried every morning trying to find clothes that would hide the bulges... and I was slowly becoming suicidal at having worked so hard only to look so physically deformed... thank God for plastic surgery.

The only one of my fears that did NOT come to fruition was not being able to maintain the loss.  Not without effort,but without GREAT struggle, I am 4.5 years out and maintaining at 5-7 pounds over lowest weight.

Lora

You go girl! I think you've done great. With so many more things than what you listed.

 My biggest fear is that this surgery will eventually kill me.  Not today or two years from now, but at some point in the eventual future.

I totally think about this too!

Regain. Hands down that is the scariest thing to me. However, I was just thinking about this today, and I realized I am in control. Not that regain can't happen, but before surgery I always looked at weight gain as some kind of external force I could not control. Now I know that isn't so. I am in control over what I put in my mouth and how much I move my body.

Plastic surgery is also scary because the recovery looks painful.

I can say that I had this surgery to become more healthy, but I also had this surgery in the hopes that losing the weight will mean not facing a future of lonliness. I knew that at 340 lbs it was HIGHLY unlikely that I would meet someone and fall in love, get married, and have a family. Let's face it, even homely skinny girls have a better shot of being in a relationship than the prettiest fat girl. So, I guess my biggest fear is that having gone through the surgery and lost weight, and started to touch "normal sized" that despite all this, I will still end up alone and unloved.

 My fear is that they will not be able to do the surgery because of scar tissue and adhesions from a hernia repair - which was not my fear until I saw my surgeon yesterday for Pre op. I am afraid my previous provider will not get my hernia surrey records to my dr - they can't find them and think they are in transit to a records depository - I am afraid they will put me under and I will wake up the same as I went under - I am afraid th dr will revise to a sleeve and my insurance co won't go for it - 

My RNY is scheduled for 2/28.... I am mostly afraid of not being able to control what happens...  Dumping on things that are within my diet guidelines or struggling with nutrient deficiencies, even though i'm following Dr. orders...  I'm afraid that i still wont be happy with who i am...  that even after all i go through in effort to loose this weight, that i'll still look in the mirror and not like who i see.