Doing things the hard way

Long, rambly collection of thoughts and opinions, as per usual.

As humans, I think it’s inherent in us to want to find the fastest, most efficient, least labor intensive way to do anything. This is probably why as a species we’ve invented tools to do everything from drive a nail into a wall to…well, losing massive amounts of weight.

And while tools make tasks more manageable…there is something to be said for doing some things “the old fashioned way.Â" No, I’m not talking about traditional diet/exercise by the way.

But I am talking about things like taking a long walk, preparing a meal for yourself, going to support group, meditating. These are all things that fall by the wayside when we feel we don’t have time to do them. These are also things that sort of force you to be mindful about yourself, show care FOR yourself and that give your brain the mental space to explore its own inner crevices.

In short, I’m not surprised that we often sacrifice these things. For half of us, free mental range scares the holy **** out of us.

But in the rat race of life, I think slowing down and doing things in a more labor intensive way can be beneficial. Firstly, because somewhere in putting forth the effort, you begin to examine whether or not you think you are worth that effort. Some of you think you are, some of you do not. But actually DOING something will force you to realize which side you fall on.

Secondly, there’s value in those feelings of resistance. There’s stuff in there you should examine. Consider this: you get home late, you’ve had the day from hell, the kids are whiny and hungry because your spouse did not feed them, everyone needs a bath and you’d just assume tell them ALL to go to hell, pop a headache pill and traipse off to bed.

In that moment, getting a workout is probably the last of the things you WANT to do (except if you are Paul – wink). Am I right?

And if someone were to suggest you go work out in that moment, you might curse them out. Am I right? It’s only human. At that point you’re tired, you’re stressed and frankly the mere suggestion offended you.

Think of what would happen if, instead of cursing someone out and instead of flatly resisting taking that time, you examine WHY you feel so resistant in the first place? Perhaps you don’t feel like you ever get any time to yourself and you just don’t feel like spending your little bit of free time doing something strenuous that will just make you sore tomorrow.

Or perhaps the person who suggested it makes it offensive. Perhaps you are resisting to show your husband/wife/partner/sister/mother/brother who is REALLY boss. Because what do THEY know of your pain and struggles anyway?

Or perhaps you are in dire need of comfort and the quickest way to comfort, in your mind, is to bury yourself in your blankets and not come out until it’s a new day.

Yes, all that can be buried in a simple “ugh…today is not the day!Â" (And, to be fair, sometimes today IS simply not the day. And that’s ok too. Skipping a day of exercise is not a sin. That’s just an example.)

I also find with folks who are newer out this mentality applies to preparing food for themselves. Why bother? most tell me. I can’t eat much of it anyway. I don’t think it’s worth it to get up and cook such a small amount of food.

WHY? Do you not deserve for those three bites to be good ones? Or perhaps, like in the exercise example, there is something deeper there. Perhaps you resent that you can’t eat yourself into a coma anymore (I know I felt that way and sometimes still do). Perhaps you don’t know HOW to moderate and thus are an everything or nothing person (either I overeat or never eat). Perhaps you are afraid that your head demons will trick you into making a bad food decision, wooed by the fact that you can only eat a little bit.

Yep…all that can be buried in “I just don’t feel like cooking!Â"

See where I am going with this?

If you ever feel resistant to self-care, to me that is a red flag. Not necessarily a reason to panic. We all have days where we just don’t feel like it, sure. But consistently feeling that way is a symptom of something much larger and something I’d argue you NEED to address in order to get to the proverbial “other sideÂ" where you have healthier attitudes about yourself, food and eating.

So yes…while decisions of convenience are sometimes just that, sometimes they can be indicative of further contemplation. But the bottom line is this: for anything you find “too strenuousÂ", “too stressfulÂ" or “too involvedÂ" remember this: you are worth that effort. You are worth that time. Whether or not you make the effort or take the time ultimately resides with you, but you are absolutely 100% worth it.

i love your thoughts and opinions, thanks for sharing:) P ,S. i wish i had your gift of putting together words, always so eloquent

Thanks for sharing!  Wonderful thoughts and words....really helpful as my surgery is Thursday and then the work begins!
Have a great week ahead!
Karen

I read a quote today--"Even if you win in the rat race of life, you are still a rat." It was something of a reminder to slow my roll and stop creating this self-induced stress about what I do and don't have time for. I'm forever saying I don't have time for this or that. Really? 24 hours in a day, I sleep maybe 6, and I don't work. Do I not have time or do I choose not to have time for that particular task? Do I choose to make things harder than they need to be? I wonder if I create a self-imposed rat race with my poor time management and prioritizing. As I am away from the house for two hours twice a week for my daughter's swimming, I can choose to sit and worry about all I have to do that overwhelms me, or I can use the hour I'm at her swim lesson to reconnect with my support network and do some stretching that I so often neglect. Tonight I've chosen reconnecting and stretching. And despite knowing there is not a horizontal surface in my house that is clutter-free, there is not a darn thing I can do about it for these two hours. Do I do things the hard way? Sadly, often the answer is yes. Thankfully, just as I've chosen to make things hard, I can also choose to make them easier by changing how I think about the tasks at hand. And there is no question that in the example you presented about the hungry kids, I'd likely choose the couch--and that is okay too--sometimes.

Denise