Trying to avoid the ice cream tonight...

I got REALLY badly triggered on Tues in the ER when the ENT surgeon they brought in had to hold my head down and force the packing sticks (with some kind of balloon attached to the end, to be inflated in the upper sinus cavity) into both sides of my nose.  After enduring a pretty brutal rape a number of years ago... well, you can probably imagine how that scenario would be triggering.  It was an ugly scene... embarrassing to think about, but I know that the was no way I could have anticipated or controlled it... I was screaming and the security guard came and they closed the glass door to my room to try to minimize having other patients hear.  I have not been that badly triggered in years.  Then, they took me to an unfamiliar hospital and admitted me, and wanted to put the SCDs on my legs (which are triggering for me as well... they make it feel like someone is grabbing my ankles...) and I lost it.  The nurse called the admitting doctor and he put me on some Ativan (and one dose of klonopin) which helped a lot, but then I came home yesterday (no ativan at home) and my dogs couldn't be here last night so the house was empty and I was jumpy.  The dogs are back now, so I feel a little calmer (NO ONE is going to get to me with my very protective 65-pound male Chow here unless he has a weapon and kills the dog!), but I am still very agitated and restless and having trouble focusing on much of anything for more than a couple of minutes... and the brand new pint of Haagen Dazs strawberry ice cream is calling my name.  I have not opened it because I don't think that I would be able to eat just my normal spoonful and put it away.  I can almost guarantee it.  I tried having some SF cherry jello, some Dr Pepper 10, and 2 dark Hershey kisses... But that ice cream is still calling my name.  That food demon -- eating to soothe trauma -- is still alive and well.  Pfft!

lora

ohh Lora, i am so sorry for ALL of your pain, i hope you continue to heal, wish i could say NO on the iccream but i have proven to be rather weak in the last few years!!  read, watch tv, distraction,,,, i guess the head hungar never goes completely away when we are stressed,   take care, Denise

I am so sorry this has been a bad week for you. I will be praying for you! Stay away from the fridge!

hi lora (((((( HUGS )))))))
i'm sorry, and i don't have an answer, but i wanted to just let you know that we're here!
annie

I'm so sorry you had a trigger event - brings everything current - not good!  Try keeping the dog close and if I could suggest run the ice cream under ho****er in the sin****il it's melted down the drain.  Sometimes to distract myself I sing christmas carols until I fall asleep.  It works for me.

Oh my gosh, Lora. I am so so sorry to hear that. I'll be praying for you!

Have you tried making protein ice cream?  I can eat that without guilt or worrying about dumping.  Probably not as good as Hagen Daaz but you can add strawberries and whatever you want to eat.
I have a hard time not using food to comfort me, too.  I try to find things that I can eat that I won't feel like I can't stop.  I was having some sugar free dark chocolate every day but the sugar alcohols really upset my stomach and I decided it wasn't worth it.  The only chocolate I can have without issues is sf pudding or protein shakes.
I am so sorry you went through that.  I can't believe they did that to you and didn't stop when they saw how badly it upset you.  That would terrify me.  
It just sounds like the last few days have been a nightmare.  Take care of yourself however you feel you need to.

I tried three different protein ice cream recipes a couple of years ago and I hated them all, so I gave up on them.

I think that the ENT surgeon had no idea what what was going on (I suspect that, as painful as the process was, he is used to having people cry out in pain when he does it, so that part probably didn't surprise him), but the female ER doc -- who had tried to stop the bleeding with normal packing and clamping and such , and was in the room with him atthe time -- had to insist that he wait until she could at least give me some additional morpine and some Ativan before he did the second side.

Lora

Ok, so it's after midnight and i'm not sleeping (not unexpected), but I did not touch the ice cream.  (Yay, me.)  I had 3 of the 5 Thin Mints that were in the final bit I had left at my mom's house that I brought home last weekend and had tucked in the freezer.  I have a very strict rule about NEVER eating after midnight, so I am "safe" (well, until tomorrow, anyway... LOL)

Lora

Bless your heart! Don't let the ice cream win... You are a survivor and you are for damn sure stronger than some ice cream! You can do it! I believe in you!