unrationally nervous

I have been seeing a personal trainer for the past few weeks.  She knows I have lost 125 pounds and working on the last 20.  She does not know I had surgery.  Nor do I intend to tell her.  She is a great trainer and love the changes in my workout.  The problem is that she has me weigh in each week.  She believes that as long as you burn x amount of calories and only take it x much then you will lose weight.  I lost 1 pound the first week.  I didn't weigh the next week.  Last week I lost 5 pounds.  (she had me weigh after an intense work out.  I am sure at least a pound was water lost.)  Then she told me she expected me to lose 2 pounds this next week.  I explained that it doesn't work that way with me.  Some weeks I lose a lot and then I will go several weeks with out losing anything.  She told me not to think that way.  If I do everything she tells me I will lose the weight.    Guess what....I haven't lost anything this week.  I know that I couldn't have done anything different, but I am scared to go on Monday. 

I know the rational thing to do is to tell her this is what I do and not worry about it.   She has never yelled at me and given me any reason to feel this way.  I also know that I am doing well and it is my mind playing games.    Yet I still find myself trying to figure out how to lose 2 pounds by Monday.

Thanks for the rant.

Don't sweat it. You are doing a great job!

Thanks.  I am feeling much better about it today.

 If she REALLY understood the way metabolism works, she would KNOW that for many people, because our metabolisms are messed up from years of dieting or whatever else, it is NOT as simple as the standard 3500 calories equals one pound lost or gained for many people.  You being a RNY patient's has nothing to do wih it and there is no reason she needs to know that.  Just knowing that you used to be very heavy is enough for her to understand that your metabolism is probably not "normal".

If it is stressing you out, tell ppher that you would prefer to focus on the workout portion... getting healthy, stronger, more fit... rather than on the weight... let the scale worry about itself.  You pay HER, remember... So YOU get to make the "rules".

Lora

You are right.  She has never given me any reason to feel bad about my weight loss.  I think it is all those old emotions coming back from failed attempts and other trainers.  As you said, I am paying her.  I need to go in tomorrow with the attitude that she works for me.

It sounds like you have a "pleaser" personality. I'm the same way. Even if what a person is asking is irrational or unrealistic, I have a hard time saying no and "disappointing" them (even though, in reality, very few people would probably actually be disappointed).

If you are the same way, then Lora's advice is spot on. Remember, you're paying her, and if the situation makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to stay.

I don't care how well adjusted a person is, nobody consistently loses the same amount of weight each week. Even if they were to eat the exact same thing and do the exact same workout every week, the body's natural rhythms don't work that way. Personal trainers sometimes aren't all they crack up to be. I have a girlfriend who is a trainer, and she knows very little about nutrition or kinesiology. She studied hard enough to pass the certification test, but never researched much else.

So be wary of someone who has unrealistic expectations.