Support from Family
I've come to the realization my biggest supporters in my weight loss journey (not including forum peeps and WLS friends on FB) consist of two friends of mine on the west coast, the staff and my trainer at the gym, and my cousins (one of my cousins just started doing boot camp with me).
My mom had RNY surgery about 5 years ago. Thing was, she didn't change her lifestyle. Sure, she ate less...but that was it. She never went to the gym. She's doing the exact same thing she's done my entire life: holes up in her bedroom. She works from home, and unless it involves going to the grocery store or a dinner out periodically with my dad...she doesn't come out of the bedroom. In December she had plastic surgery, and had complications. She got depressed, stopped taking her meds, wouldn't eat or take her protien shakes, and landed in the hosptial for two days getting iv infusions and 2 transfusions. Stil...she hangs out in her room.
My mom and I had a conversation the other day and she had asked me how things were going. I told her about resetting my goals with my trainer, where I wanted to be by my surgiversary, that I had started taking spin, and yes...my clothes are still falling off me. I also told her I am in on the Bariatric Foodie challenge, which has been a great motivator (seriously...I don't want to tell Nik I didn't do something because...um...watching Alcatraz was more important). I also chatted about my dumb food log (that's its name today), taking vitamins, church, that my CFO and I talked about moving forward with changing up my job duties (he wants me as his assistant controller). Things are going really well.
This happens quite a bit. Somehow I expected a different result. One could hear crickets roar over the phone line. She said nothing.
Now, she's currently the topic of conversation with my psychologist. I know, I shouldn't look for others approval. She is still my mother, so I guess there's something in side of me that wants her to show some excitement. Then I remember, she stood me up for my surgery because she was scheduling plastic surgery. Seriously. She did. A friend of mine took the day off work to be with me.
I'm bummed about it.
My mom had RNY surgery about 5 years ago. Thing was, she didn't change her lifestyle. Sure, she ate less...but that was it. She never went to the gym. She's doing the exact same thing she's done my entire life: holes up in her bedroom. She works from home, and unless it involves going to the grocery store or a dinner out periodically with my dad...she doesn't come out of the bedroom. In December she had plastic surgery, and had complications. She got depressed, stopped taking her meds, wouldn't eat or take her protien shakes, and landed in the hosptial for two days getting iv infusions and 2 transfusions. Stil...she hangs out in her room.
My mom and I had a conversation the other day and she had asked me how things were going. I told her about resetting my goals with my trainer, where I wanted to be by my surgiversary, that I had started taking spin, and yes...my clothes are still falling off me. I also told her I am in on the Bariatric Foodie challenge, which has been a great motivator (seriously...I don't want to tell Nik I didn't do something because...um...watching Alcatraz was more important). I also chatted about my dumb food log (that's its name today), taking vitamins, church, that my CFO and I talked about moving forward with changing up my job duties (he wants me as his assistant controller). Things are going really well.
This happens quite a bit. Somehow I expected a different result. One could hear crickets roar over the phone line. She said nothing.
Now, she's currently the topic of conversation with my psychologist. I know, I shouldn't look for others approval. She is still my mother, so I guess there's something in side of me that wants her to show some excitement. Then I remember, she stood me up for my surgery because she was scheduling plastic surgery. Seriously. She did. A friend of mine took the day off work to be with me.
I'm bummed about it.
Staying in her bedroom a lot and isolating herself sounds like depression. I wonder what is she hiding from that's out here in the world? Was something that painful in her past?
I am sorry you feel lack of support from her. Really proud of you for the lifestyle changes and seeing a psychologist. Both are so important.
Hugs on a great job!
Your story is sad, You are obviously an accomplished, productive, motivated and talented woman. My relationship with my mother, though different than yours, was nonetheless distant. She moved away when I was in my 20's, I saw her once in my 30's then she died suddenly. I am now 56, and I grieve her loss now more than ever. Your situation is far more complicated. I feel badly for you both, especially you, but your mother seems to be in a really dark place. While we are no substitute, you can rest assured those of us on this board *****ad this are in your corner, in your balcony rooting you on every step of the way.
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